No Such Thing as Stability
by LindenMae
Summary: AU 4 years after the war. After struggling with their respective places in the world, Zuko and Sokka find eachother in Ba Sing Se. Dark themes, angst, SLASH
1. The Jasmine Dragon

**um so it bears stating that this is my first fanfic. It also bears stating that I do not entirely understand how to use this website, so if things seem wrong, that's why. I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender _and _this is yaoi (boy love) so don't read it if that doesn't float your boat. **

**There's no yaoi in this chapter though. It seems I'm pretty awesome at taking _forever _to set stuff up but I promise there will be Zukka slash, and angst, and torture, and all of that amazing stuff eventually. **

Sokka gazed upon the front of the tea shop wearily. He still wasn't entirely sure why he'd made the decision to come here after leaving Kyoshi Island but as he felt the warm wave of nostalgia and familiarity spread through him, he knew he'd made the right move. His mind had been in a fog the entire way to Ba Sing Se. The passage of time had been a blur and he barely remembered the uneventful ferry ride. It wasn't so different from how he felt all of the time now just, maybe, a little worse after this most recent trip to the Earth Kingdom. Everything had changed since the end of the war and Sokka wasn't sure where his place in the world was now. He'd thought that when the war was over, returning to the South Pole and his old life would be a relief, but he was finding now that he was restless. He'd lived more in one year than most people lived their entire lives and the four years since just hadn't been enough.

He'd made the decision to take this trip when Aang and Katara had last visited the tribe, spontaneously asking if they would make a detour in their travels and take him to the Earth Kingdom island. He didn't feel bad leaving. Things were stable and even though stress was still put on the need for every pair of able hands, Sokka knew the tribe would survive without him. His father had actually been encouraging him to take a trip for some time, to go see Suki. He sighed dejectedly when he thought about her and pushed open the Tea Shop door. The bell above the door tinkled pleasantly, announcing the presence of a customer at the Jasmine Dragon.

The fragrance that filled the shop was warm with the scents of different spices and plants and immediately helped to calm Sokka's overwrought nerves. This is why his subconscious had dragged him here instead of sending him home. He needed a friendly ear and some objective advice and the owner of this shop was one of the best people he knew to get that from. The interior hadn't changed much since the last time he'd been inside. A few more tables, some new paintings adorning the walls, two _very _cute servers giggling behind their hands at the back, their eyes trained on him. Sokka felt the corner of his mouth turn up as he made his way further into the room. This was _definitely_ the right decision. There was only one other patron in the shop, he noticed, taking a seat about halfway in and making sure to send a flirtatious look in the direction of the two girls before sitting down. He only spared a cursory glance at the other man, enough to see what the back of his head looked like, before pretending to turn his attention to the menu.

The other man was slumped over the table, resting his forehead on his arms, long black hair draped like a curtain around his face. Despite the fact that he couldn't see any defining features and the nondescript Earth Kingdom clothes that didn't tell him anything about the man's wealth or rank, Sokka sensed something familiar about him. He stole a few more looks in the man's direction, hoping to get a glimpse of his face, but the man didn't move an inch and Sokka was beginning to think he might be asleep. He thought about going over to make sure the man was alright since the servers seemed to be completely ignoring his presence but he was interrupted by the sight of pale, green, embroidered silk blocking his view and the sweet sound of a pretty girl's laughter coming from above him.

Sokka looked up and flashed his most charming smile at the girl, a satisfied feeling settling comfortably in his belly when she blushed and hid behind her hands again. Boy, this _did_ feel good. Even if going to Kyoshi Island had been a disaster he could still salvage some of his trip and start working on rebuilding his confidence while he was at it.

"Can I get you anything?" She asked shyly, lowering her hands so they rested in a wai below her chin.  
"I believe I will try your White Jade tea. I've heard from a very reliable source that it's one of the sweetest teas in the world." He leaned toward her and winked, pleased when a deep blush colored her cheeks. He sat back happily and draped an arm across the top of the cushion he was sitting against. When the girl continued staring at him he raised an eyebrow inquisitively. She giggled nervously again and cast a furtive glance back at her friend, who nodded vigorously at her. Taking a deep breath the girl gestured at Sokka's blue clothing.

"Are... Are you Water Tribe?" She whispered, bowing her head as if her question were shameful. Sokka let out a hearty laugh at the innocence of the inquiry. From her shifty behavior he had been expecting something a lot worse.

"As a matter of fact I am. Southern Water Tribe. The name's Sokka." He pointed at himself with his thumb, "Do you not get a lot of travelers around here?"

"We do. Many." The girl responded, nodding her head, "but not Water Tribe." She nearly gushed, her eyes wide with appreciation. This was a feeling that Sokka had definitely forgotten. It had been a long time since his dark skin and blue clothing had stood out to anyone. Focused on the attention he was getting from the girl, he didn't notice the other patron suddenly sit up at the mention of his name and heritage and he didn't feel the other man's eyes staring holes into his skull.

"Well I'm glad I could add some adventure to your day," Sokka said lightly, ignoring the way his heart sank when he mentioned adventure. The girl smiled brightly and began to turn away, probably anxious to tell her friend what she had learned, but Sokka stopped her with a small tap on her arm. "I wonder, is the owner of this shop in today? He's a friend and I was hoping to speak with him." She opened her mouth to speak but a lower, gravelly voice cut in from behind her.

"You'll have to wait your turn, Water Tribe Peasant." The man sounded tired but he'd managed to inflect a good amount of emotion into the insult that he'd thrown Sokka's way. It was a familiar moniker but this time it wasn't said with malice or disdain, it was affectionate and Sokka felt his heart jump with recognition. He craned his neck to see around the girl and was delighted to find his suspicions confirmed as he saw the other man moving towards his table. The man cast a reproachful glare at the girl, from beneath his black mop of hair, that sent her fleeing to the back. Sokka stood and reached forward, grasping the other man's forearm tightly in welcome.

"Zuko!" A rare smile brightened the other's features as he returned the greeting with equal enthusiasm. They stood there for a few seconds longer than what seemed appropriate, both too shocked at the other's presence to let go, until Zuko finally released his grip and Sokka automatically gestured for him to take a seat.

"It's good to see you, Sokka. It's been a long time."

"Nearly two years," he agreed, nodding slowly.

"Too long." Zuko's voice tapered off as he spoke, so that Sokka had to strain to hear him. He sounded exhausted, Sokka noticed, and he suddenly wondered if Zuko _had _been asleep when he walked in.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything when I got here but, " he gestured across the table at the green clothing. Zuko looked down at himself, forgetting momentarily that he was dressed as a normal Earth Kingdom citizen. "Seems a little toned down for the Fire Lord, dontcha think?" Zuko grimaced slightly at Sokka's mention of his formal title and then sighed.

"I suppose that's what I was going for." He said slowly.

"Don't tell me that being the ruler of an entire nation of people isn't all it's cracked up to be. " Sokka deadpanned, bringing a small smirk to Zuko's face.

"Then I won't tell you." He responded, enjoying Sokka's expression of mock horror despite himself. Sokka leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for Zuko to elaborate. Realizing that Sokka wasn't going to accept his quip as an explanation, Zuko sighed and scrubbed his face roughly with the heels of his hands. "It seems that peace is actually a lot more work than war." He glanced down at the simple green clothing he wore again, before looking back at Sokka. "You know, when Uncle and I were refugees here, even after I accepted that the Fire Nation was no longer my home, it still never felt right to pretend that I was an Earth Kingdom citizen. Now, I'm choosing to dress like this. _Choosing_ to hide who I am." He gave a choked laugh and laid his head in hands.

Sokka started slightly and unfolded his arms, leaning forward and laying a comforting hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Hey. Hey, Zuko, talk to me. We're friends. I had no idea this was so hard for you." Zuko swallowed and brushed Sokka's hand away. He lifted his head and met Sokka's concerned gaze.

"It's not so bad," he protested softly, "I'm simply tired. How are _you_? Why are you... here?" He waved his hand in front of him, indicating the shop, but Sokka knew that he meant the Earth Kingdom in general.

He fidgeted for a few seconds, taking great interest in imaginary lint on his clothes. His problems were nothing compared to Zuko's. Being a little confused about the future was completely normal for a twenty year old, especially one who'd played a key role in ending a hundred year war when he'd barely even hit puberty. Getting dumped by a girlfriend was, unfortunately, _also _normal. Two things that in no way compared to the stress of being in charge of an entire nation that had, up until four years ago, been pretty intent on eliminating everyone else in the world. Sokka immediately felt ashamed of himself for ever thinking that Zuko had it easier than he did.

"Sokka?" Startled out of his reverie, Sokka looked up, meeting Zuko's golden eyes. His heart broke slightly when he saw his own previous concern reflected back at him. He remembered how much he'd hated Zuko once, and he wondered briefly how that had ever been possible. He steeled his face to lie to Zuko but he hadn't realized how much of his emotions he'd let show on his features while he thought, because Zuko spoke again before he could. "I know that something's wrong, Sokka. You wouldn't travel halfway around the world to talk to Uncle just to say hello. He's the closest person to me in the world and I don't even do that." Zuko cringed at his own words, no doubt remembering how poorly he'd treated his uncle in the past. Sokka was aware that Zuko's relationship with his uncle was a touchy subject, though he didn't know as much about it as Toph, he resentfully admitted, and he regretted forcing Zuko to bring it up, however inadvertently.

"This wasn't my first stop. I... I just needed to talk to someone and Ba Sing Se is a lot closer to Kyoshi Island than the South Pole."

"You were living there?" Sokka sat back, surprised at Zuko's question.

"No. I've been living at the South Pole. I thought you knew that."

"I did. Is it so unbelievable that you would move, though? The woman you love lives on Kyoshi Island and it boasts a much more agreeable climate."

"Well, it is a nice place... Hey! The South Pole has a _perfectly _agreeable climate! Sorry that it doesn't completely suit _your_ needs Mr. Fancy-pants firebender! We Water Tribe folk..." His rant died in his throat when Zuko leaned back in his seat and started chuckling.

"Are you still planning on pretending that nothing is wrong?" He narrowed his golden eyes and appraised Sokka knowingly.

"Suki broke up with me." His mouth worked ahead of his brain, blurting out the news before he was sure he was ready to. Zuko's face softened.

"I'm sorry, Sokka." He eyed Zuko's expression warily and nodded. He _was_ sorry and that only served to make Sokka feel guiltier. He struggled to think of something that would easily change the subject and realizing something he glanced around the shop, straining to see out the windows.

"I get why you're dressed in Earth Kingdom clothes and all that. Discretion..." Zuko nodded, "But where are your guards? I don't believe that you'd be allowed to roam around, pretending to be a commoner, without _some _guards following you. You _are _the Fire Lord. No matter how much it might suck." He added the last bit quietly after seeing the frustration in Zuko's face.

"I'm sure they're around _somewhere. _I've been in here for a while." He ran a hand through his hair, momentarily pushing it out of his face and giving Sokka a clear view of the infamous scar. He was surprised to see how much it had faded in the last few years. It was still the most notable feature on his face, Sokka thought sadly, but it _had _lightened in color. It would never disappear completely, it was far too extreme of an injury, but it was slowly healing just as he hoped Zuko's inner injuries were.

"How's Mai?" He asked, trying to keep the conversation going. He remembered the way Zuko's face would light up, however slight, when Mai's name was brought up. He also remembered how she had saved their lives at the Boiling Rock prison. Mai seemed like a fairly neutral topic of discussion. He was understandably surprised then, when Zuko only looked away.

"Mai... she's..." He was interrupted by the hesitant approach of the second server, the one Sokka had not had the chance to work his charms on yet. It was sad that he found the first girl's hesitance to return amusing but, he mused, even though he'd stopped being afraid of Zuko a long time ago he could understand how the regal presence, dominating scar tissue, and all around anger could scare someone off. This was also Zuko's uncle's shop, so it served to assume that the girl knew who he was despite his disguise and Sokka decided that she was fully justified in her terror. As a non-bender who'd been forced to live and fight among four master benders he completely understood the feeling.

"Yes?" Zuko spat nastily in the girl's direction, a spark of the old personality that Sokka so loved to hate shoving its way into his carefully crafted demeanor.

"I...I...I am so sorry, sir, but you... you... your," Sokka's heart broke at the girl's tentative attempt to do her job. If he had merely _thought_ that the poor girls knew who Zuko was earlier he was sure of it now, and he felt bad for them.

"You'll have to excuse my friend here," he interrupted, flashing her a dazzling smile that exposed his pearly white teeth against deeply tanned skin. She seemed to calm down exponentially when she looked in his direction and Sokka felt another brick being laid in the wall of his confidence. "In all of his royal training he was clearly never taught how to properly speak to a pretty girl." The girl rewarded him with a blush the same shade of maroon as a beet and Zuko rewarded him with a series of grumbled swears and threats, all of which he chose to ignore as he basked in the glow of the look of admiration that the girl was sending his way. He glanced down at the girl's empty hands and raised his eyebrow when his gaze returned to her face, much the same way he'd interacted with the initial server. "No tea?"

She faltered for a second, glancing at Zuko quickly before returning her focus to Sokka. "Your tea _is _ready but I was only supposed to let you know that..." She was interrupted again by a calm, wise voice that expressed more understanding than Sokka could ever hope to show.

"You are free to leave Hua, and Lei. You will be paid for an entire day's work but I think I will be closing the shop now. It seems I have family in town." The old man made sure to acknowledge both girls as he addressed them, his kind features putting them at ease. He also looked both Zuko and Sokka in the eye when he mentioned his family, something that Sokka appreciated immensely even as he was sure that Zuko didn't notice. He didn't think that Zuko would mind very much if he _had _noticed though, Zuko was his family just as much as Aang was, almost as much as Katara or his father was, and he hoped that he fit into Zuko's family just as easily. He looked at Zuko first, before acknowledging the man he'd initially come there to see, and felt an uncharacteristic flutter in his chest when his sea blue eyes met gold and he recognized the accepting and possibly loving look in those eyes. He couldn't bring himself to look away even when Zuko slid his gaze to the side and smiled.

"Uncle."


	2. The Reunion

Sokka mentally shook himself and looked towards the older man as he set an elegant teapot and a tray with three cups on the table between the two boys. Zuko immediately stood to take over for his uncle who smiled and nodded to him before taking a seat.

"Thank you, Nephew. This is a very pleasant surprise. I am truly happy to see you both." The old general sat back, complacently, as Zuko filled his cup with tea, folding his hands over his protruding belly. Sokka noted that the man had clearly been enjoying _him_self in the peaceful aftermath of the war.

"It's good to see you too, General Iroh." Sokka nodded his head slightly, unsure what the proper way to address a former Fire Nation general turned traitor turned Earth Kingdom tea shop owner, was. He was rewarded with hearty laughter and a gentle hand clap on his shoulder.

"I have not been a general for many years, young man. You may refer to me, simply, as Iroh." Sokka smiled and nodded again.

"Thank you, Sir. Er... Iroh." He edged away from the table to make room as Zuko came around beside him and leaned forward to fill his cup. He glanced at Zuko's profile, noticing for the first time that there were already small lines forming at the edge of his good eye and mouth. Had it been anyone else Sokka would have guessed they were laugh lines from smiling but not Zuko. He frowned slightly, not enough for either of the other men to notice, as the realization of how hard the young Fire Lord's life must be sunk deeper.

"You look well, Uncle." Zuko said softly as he retook his seat across from Sokka. An appreciative smile spread across the older man's face, reaching all the way into his eyes.

"I feel well. Retirement has been good to me. I am already planning to open another tea shop!" Sokka noticed how truly delighted he seemed about his new venture and could not keep a grin from opening up his own face. Even Zuko was noticeably relaxing in the presence of his uncle. It seemed that Iroh's eternal optimism was contagious. "And how has peace treated you?" He asked, placing his focus entirely on Sokka. "As much as I would like to believe that you traveled all this way just for my tea, I am sure there must be some other reason for your visit." Sokka cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable as the center of attention, something that was completely out of character for him.

"Well, uh, I came here from Kyoshi Island, not the South Pole. Though I _was _there first and then I went to Kyoshi Island and, well, that didn't turn out like I thought it was going to but I didn't really want to go home and I realized that Ba Sing Se was... ow!" A swift kick to his shin cut him off. He looked sharply at Zuko who was calmly sipping his tea, staring at him from over the brim of the cup. "Yea, I was rambling, huh."

"I believe I understood you. No doubt you were visiting that pretty warrior of yours while you were on Kyoshi Island?" Zuko groaned in sympathy but didn't say anything.

"Well, yea. I was but... we broke up." He cast his eyes downward sadly. "Something just kind of pulled me to Ba Sing Se after that."

"I am sorry to hear about your troubles but I think that coming to Ba Sing Se was the right thing to do. Sometimes the most fortuitous things can happen when we listen to our hearts."

"I guess so." Sokka perked up, "like running into Zuko!" Oh boy, that did not come out right. His heart had _not_ brought him to Zuko. His heart had taken him to Kyoshi Island and his lonely befuddled brain had brought him to Zuko. Wait, no! Nothing had brought him to Zuko. Nothing. He looked at Zuko fearfully but the other boy was looking into his tea cup, no sign that he had even heard Sokka's blunder showing on his face.

"Perhaps that _is _why you were drawn here. Friendships are like precious jewels, they will only shine as long as you take the time to polish them." Sokka knit his eyebrows in confusion and Zuko coughed on a mouthful of tea that he had been attempting to swallow.

"We will, uh, keep that in mind. Thank you, Uncle." Iroh grinned as if just by giving them those words he had solved all of their problems.

The three men sat in the empty tea shop for hours, catching up on each other's lives, and enjoying each other's company. Sokka told them both about the South Pole, trying to make the last few years sound more fulfilling than they had felt. He could tell by their expressions and some of the questions that Iroh asked, that his charade wasn't working but they didn't press him and he didn't feel comfortable whining about being bored in front of Zuko. After a while the topic of conversation thankfully, changed to Aang and Katara and Sokka had wasted at least an hour and a half by retelling their stories. He tried to hide his jealousy as he talked. They'd asked him to come along when they'd first set off but he'd turned them down. At the time all he'd wanted was for his life to return to normal and now, well, they were a couple and they were old enough that he was able to accept that they needed some privacy.

Zuko mentioned some of the times that he'd seen them, both in diplomatic and personal situations. Sokka found it very difficult to mask the dejected feeling in his chest as Zuko told a story involving himself, Aang, Katara, and Toph that had occurred within the last year and Iroh declared that the little blind girl, she would always be little in Sokka's mind, visited him frequently in Ba Sing Se. He hadn't seen Toph in over three years. At least being the Fire Lord forced Zuko to visit the South Pole every once in a while to show his good faith. Everyone in their little rag tag group had managed to keep in touch except for him.

It was not until the light outside the shop had disappeared and Iroh was attempting to stifle his tenth yawn in as many minutes that the conversation finally dwindled and the boys decided to take their leave. It hadn't gone exactly as he'd planned but Sokka decided it had been more than a good day.

"I hope you will come to see me before you return home. My door is always open to family." Iroh had spoken to both of them as he bowed but Sokka had a feeling that the comment had been directed mostly at him. A lump of guilt formed at the pit of his stomach but he smiled and promised that he would and that it wouldn't take him another four years to visit, telling himself that it was a promise he would keep.

The little bell tinkled again over their heads as the two boys stepped out of the shop and onto the darkened street. Sokka watched in confusion as Zuko stopped to place a large, conical hat on his head, adjusting it so that it would block most of his face to a passerby.

"You know, Zuko, I don't think you have to worry about getting a sunburn right now..." The pale young man sighed and glared at Sokka from under the hat's brim.

"Discretion, remember?" His fingertips just barely brushed the bottom of his scar before he lowered his hand but it was enough for Sokka to get the point. Without another word Zuko turned and began walking away, not bothering to make sure that the other boy was following him. "Where are you staying?"

Sokka had just fallen into step beside Zuko, thinking about how wearing a giant hat like that at night probably made the young man stand out _more_, when he realized that he didn't have a place to stay. He kept walking but looked down, sheepishly.

"I, uh, don't know yet. I guess I didn't really think this through." His gaze was still focused on the cobblestone street so he didn't notice Zuko stop and turn around until the other boy's hand was on his shoulder. He looked up quickly, already reaching back towards the hilt of his sword out of habit, remembering his time in this city four years ago, his time _anywhere_ four years ago. He'd always needed to be on his guard. A small bud of embarrassment bloomed in his stomach as he caught Zuko's blank look and realized they were still the only people in the area.

"I think, perhaps, it might be better if we part ways here then." Zuko said evenly, ignoring the arm that the darker skinned young man was slowly bringing back down to rest at his side. Sokka felt his jaw drop. Zuko was ditching him? Because he hadn't found a place to stay? There was something completely wrong with this situation. The grip on his shoulder tightened and a smirk slowly etched itself onto Zuko's face. "If I recall correctly, the last time you and I were together and you failed to think something through I ended up in a prison cell." Mirth danced in his eyes and Sokka was momentarily caught off guard.

"Wha? Wait. Did... Did you just make a joke? Ha! You did! Ahaha! Hahaha!" He wrapped an arm around his stomach to support his cramping muscles and leaned back as his laughter began to die, reaching up to gingerly wipe a tear from his eye. "Oh man. That was good. But seriously, I can stay with you right? You're the Fire Lord. You've probably got a whole house to yourself."

"I've procured _a _room but there is a chaise inside that you are welcome to."

"Just one room?" Sokka began to whine but cut himself short when he saw the look of impatience in his friend's eyes. "I'm pretty sure you could have gotten more than one room and still managed to be discreet." He grumbled under his breath, setting off in the direction that Zuko had originally taken, completely unsure of where he was going.

"Well, when I arrived in Ba Sing Se I wasn't expecting squatters from the South Pole. May I ask what, exactly, _you _were expecting when you got here? If it weren't for me you wouldn't have a place to stay at all." Zuko said from behind him, making no effort to catch up.

"I guess I just figured I'd have some tea and listen to your uncle tell me some story about how confused _you_ were about _your _life back when you were an angry ponytailed freak. Then he'd give me a ridiculously cryptic piece of advice that would take the entire trip back to the South Pole to figure out but that would eventually make sense and ultimately make me feel better. Sleeping arrangements never found their way into that scenario."

"Angry ponytailed freak?" Zuko's face was screwed up in a mix of confusion and disbelief and nearly caused Sokka to erupt into another fit of laughter when he shot a glance over his shoulder, but he managed to suppress it.

"Yea," he sighed, "back in the good ole days."

"And your..."

"Warrior's. Wolf. Tail." Pointing to the back of his head he indicated a tuft of brown hair that was separated from the rest and tied back. For most of his life he'd kept the sides of his head clean shaven but he'd decided to let it grow out a few months prior and the longest pieces were just beginning to reach the tips of his earlobes.

"Right."

They walked on in silence for several minutes, Zuko still trailing Sokka by a few steps. He saw a side street that they needed to take coming up and debated allowing the other boy to walk past it, just to see how long he would continue walking before he admitted that he didn't know the way, but exhaustion got the better of him and he cleared his throat.

"Sokka. You're going to want to make a right up here." The brunette turned and opened his mouth, trying to think of a witty retort, but simply closed it again and hung his head, waiting for Zuko to take the lead. As they walked Sokka noticed the buildings beginning to space out and become larger and he began to suspect that Zuko had downplayed his temporary living arrangements. Zuko finally stopped in front of a not exactly modest bungalow style building that Sokka guessed had _at least _two rooms, a private courtyard behind it, and an indoor bath just off of what seemed to be the main room.

"Oh yea, Zuko, very discreet." He scoffed as they made their way inside.

"I only said there was one room, I didn't say it was a _small_ room." It was dark but looking around Sokka could see there was an extra door that obviously connected to something.

"I don't mean to question your eyesight or your ability to count, all mighty Fire Lord, but there are definitely two rooms." Zuko stopped and pressed his palms together in a wai in front of his chest, bowing his head so that his forehead met his fingertips and taking a deep breath before quickly crouching and reaching out in rapid succession, sending small sparks of fire in multiple directions across the room. Sokka gasped in awe as every candle in the room was suddenly lit, casting the walls and the furniture in a soft glow. "Wow."

Zuko ignored him, and started walking towards the large bed that dominated the space."I will be using the other room as my office for the duration of my stay. I'd prefer it if you didn't go in there."

"What? Why not? I'm a great leader! I could totally help you out!" He exclaimed, knocking a side table with his hip as he rushed after Zuko. "Ouch!"

"Your leadership skills aren't what I'm worried about." Zuko turned to face him with a smirk, crossing his arms over his chest and raising his brow as his gaze wandered downwards. Sokka felt his stomach flutter as he watched Zuko appraise him, until he felt an uncomfortable degree of heat at his side and looked down.

"Oh shit! I'm on fucking fire! Fuck!" He stumbled away from the table, and the candle he'd knocked over, wildly slapping at his quickly burning tunic. Zuko chuckled to himself at Sokka's impeccable timing before calmly striding across the room and picking up a basin of water that had been left near the door. He turned to Sokka, still smirking, and doused him with it.

"That doesn't seem like it was entirely necessary." He sputtered, pulling at the charred cloth that was now plastered to his skin. Zuko only shrugged and turned back towards the bed. Sighing, Sokka walked to the chaise, peeling the wet cloth from his body. It was situated against the wall facing the foot of the bed and looked to be quite comfortable. Slipping what was left of his tunic off his shoulders, he held it up and inspected the scorch marks, then dropped it in a heap on the floor at his feet, deciding that it wasn't salvageable.

"Hey, so, I know you didn't really get to talk to your uncle about, well, you know, whatever you were there to talk to him about, today. Sorry about that." He said, flopping onto his back with a distinct lack of grace. He folded his arms behind his head and turned his face so he could see Zuko. He swallowed hard as he watched the raven haired man slip his own tunic off and place it neatly on a stool next to the bed. Sokka found himself mesmerized by the way the candlelight played over Zuko's muscles as he moved, the soft light casting an almost ethereal glow over his pale skin. Stupid firebender would look sexy surrounded by his element. Sexy?! Sokka sat up quickly, his eyes wide. What was _wrong _with him today?

"I don't mind. It turned out to be a really good day." Zuko turned around as he spoke. "Sokka? Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Totally fine. I think a more pertinent question would be are _you_ okay. You're looking kind of pale." Sokka stammered, taking a sudden intense interest in the lacing of his boots. Zuko looked at himself, inspecting his forearms closely.

"I don't think I look pale. Well..._ that_ pale." He murmured. Sokka focused on slowing his heartbeat as he pulled off his boots, dropping each one unceremoniously on the floor before he laid back down, keeping his eyes on the ceiling.

"Yea you're right. It was probably just the lighting. You look just as pale as always."

"Um, alright." There were a few unbearable seconds of silence before Sokka heard the rustle of fabric that told him Zuko was getting into the bed but he didn't dare look his way. He was a mess because of breaking up with Suki, he told himself. It had been a long, emotional week and he was just tired. There was nothing else to it.

"Goodnight Sokka."

"Night Zuko." He closed his eyes and sighed as sleep overtook him, completely unaware of the pleasant smile that crept across his face.


	3. The Streets of Ba Sing Se

**I'm sure I shouldn't be having such a hard time with this site but I am. Sorry to the people who put me on their alert lists and got two e-mails saying I'd updated the story and ended up with only one new chapter. Also a special thanks to Lucrezia6565. Iroh was a lot harder for me to write than I thought he was going to be so saying you loved the way I wrote him made my day!**

**I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. **

Zuko awoke the next morning as the first soft pink rays of the sunrise began to brighten the room. He quietly slid out of the bed, taking care not to make any noise that would disturb his sleeping guest. Not that he could, he mused. Nothing short of a full blown battle would be audible above Sokka's snoring. He dressed quickly in a pair of black pants lined in Fire Nation red and a matching sleeveless tunic that fastened down the front in a series of silver pins. He paused briefly as he pulled his hair into a ponytail, foregoing the traditional Fire Nation topknot, remembering Sokka's comment the night before. Deciding to go with it anyway, he tied it up with a thin piece of leather. After pulling on his boots, he crossed to the end of the bed and gingerly stepped over the sleeping boy, who had apparently rolled off the chaise in the night and was now sprawled on the floor in a tangle of limbs and bedclothes. Zuko smiled at his friend and then made his way to the door, sliding it open silently and stepping out into the crisp morning air. Two guards suddenly made themselves visible and bowed to him.

"News?" He asked stiffly, his smile immediately gone.

"Two hawks arrived yesterday, Sir." Both guards rose from their bows and one produced two scrolls bearing the Fire Nation seal. Zuko bristled visibly.

"My wife?" A bitter note was obvious in his voice but the guards wisely let it pass.

"No, Sir."

He scowled but did not dwell on the sour feeling constricting his chest. "Very well. I intend to spend most of the day working. No disturbances. " The guards nodded and prepared to return to their posts but Zuko spoke again. "I'm sure you're aware that I have a guest?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Assign a guard to follow him should he leave the area but be sure to keep out of sight. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. You may return to your posts." The guards bowed to him again and retreated to the shadows. Zuko slipped back inside and glanced at Sokka as he made his way to the door that led to the spare room. Despite his awkward sleeping position the boy seemed peaceful and Zuko envied him that. He stepped into the room and began to slide the door closed behind him when Sokka let out a particularly loud snore. A small smile returned to his face and he decided to leave the door open, hoping the noise might provide a distraction from his own mind.

It was a few hours before Zuko finally heard Sokka stir. His back ached from sitting in one position for so long and his vision had begun to blur from reading. Sighing he pushed the most recent piece of parchment that he had been looking at away from his face and leaned back. Sokka's snoring had provided the kind of white noise that Zuko needed to keep his mind on his work but it hadn't worked as well as he'd hoped. His concentration had faltered one too many times and the bitterness from earlier had begun to fester. He wished he could get angry. Anything would be better than the sick depression he actually felt. He wondered as he reached towards the ceiling, groaning slightly as a series of satisfying pops rippled up his spine, if his life would be like this forever. He was getting very used to feeling inadequate.

Glancing out the window at the position of the sun, he guessed it to be late morning or very early afternoon. Lowering his arms he sat still, waiting for the inevitable crash and swear that would show that Sokka was truly awake. He was not disappointed when, within seconds, it was loudly evident that in his attempt to right himself Sokka had knocked something over, probably on top of himself. This came accompanied with a loud curse and a pained groan.

"Ehrm. Zuko?"

"In here." He grumbled, not moving, though his legs desperately begged for exercise. Sokka appeared at the doorway, vigorously rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with a fist.

"What time is it?" Sokka asked, sleepily.

"Late." Zuko snapped. It was a short reply and he knew that Sokka didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of his frustration but he'd never been very good at controlling his emotions. He noticed Sokka's face fall as the younger man registered his surroundings.

"Wow, yea it is late. I... I'll go then, I guess." He ran his hand over the strands of hair that were pulled back into his wolf tail, half out of discomfort and half trying to push the errant hairs that had pulled free in the night back into place.

"No." The word burst out of Zuko's mouth before he thought about saying it but he meant it. He didn't want Sokka to leave. Sokka stared at him in confusion, for once completely silent. Zuko cleared his throat, still uncomfortable with the process of having and speaking to friends. "I don't want you to go. I didn't mean it like that." Sokka's eyes narrowed.

"Then how, exactly, did you mean it?" Sokka was glaring at him now. Zuko looked down, ashamed. It was a feeling that he was used to.

"Sokka...."

"Zuko?" The younger man crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a shoulder against the doorway. Zuko could not claim that he'd had many friends in his life. Even as a young boy, before his life had taken a decidedly darker turn, he'd spent most of his time with his mother or his uncle or his older cousin. It had been a harsh blow when Lu Ten died but he'd done his best to be strong because he was a boy and prince of the Fire Nation and strength was expected of him. Tears sprung unbidden to his eyes as the image of his uncle and the echo of his words on Zhao's ship in the North Pole forced their way into his mind.

_Ever since I lost my son...._

_I think of you as my own...._

"Zuko?" There was concern in the question and when Zuko looked up he saw through watery vision that Sokka had pushed himself off of the doorframe and taken a few steps into the room. Zuko looked down and blinked rapidly, willing his vision to clear. His first instinct was to yell at Sokka, remind the other boy that he'd been warned not to enter this room and demand that he leave but it was fleeting. His natural tendency to push people away was what had made things so difficult and driven him to Ba Sing Se, in the first place. He didn't want to drive Sokka away too, not when he'd just found him again. He held up a hand to indicate to Sokka that he should stay where he was.

"I'm fine." He took several deep breaths before he raised his head and met Sokka's eyes. There were multiple emotions fighting for dominance in them, confusion, concern, anger, hurt. He acknowledged Zuko's silent order and stayed where he was, only a few steps past the doorway.

"Tell me what's wrong, Zuko."

"It's nothing. I'm sorry I was short with you. I really do want you to stay. For however long you want." He kept his eyes locked on Sokka's, attempting to convey his honesty without letting any of his pain or uncertainty show through. Sokka stared back, suspicion showing through the blue of his irises. He knew that something was going on with Zuko but he didn't push him. He just nodded and relaxed his stance.

"How long have you been up?"

"A while." Zuko admitted.

"Have you been in here the whole time?" He glanced around the room with distaste.

"Yes. I've been working."

"Doesn't sound like fun."

"It's necessary." Sokka nodded thoughtfully at Zuko's response.

"Definitely explains why you're so cranky. Well, crankier than normal." Zuko scowled but didn't say anything. "You need to take a break." He closed his eyes and smiled smugly, as if he'd just came up with the most amazing idea ever.

"Sokka, I don't..."

"Ahp, no excuses. I've made my decision and I know just the activity to get your mind off things." He paused for dramatic effect. " Shopping!" Zuko sat back, startled at Sokka's exuberance. He wasn't sure that shopping would get his mind off of anything but it seemed to be a particularly exciting idea to the other boy and Zuko didn't want to hurt his feelings again.

"I, uh, sure. I guess."

"Great! " Zuko sighed as Sokka bounded out of the room and he pushed himself into a standing position. His legs tingled painfully as he stretched and forced them to carry him across the room. When he stepped into the bedroom he found Sokka kneeling by the chaise, inspecting his powder blue tunic with a frown. "Shopping is definitely a good idea. I need clothes."

"You can borrow some, in the meantime." Zuko offered, already on his way to the closet. He would have to change out of his Fire Nation apparel if they were going into the city. Sokka gave one last sad look to his tunic before dropping it and weighing his options.

"I'm gonna guess that you don't have anything blue in there."

"No."

"Well, I do look pretty good in red." Sokka said thoughtfully, stroking his chin with his thumb and index finger.

"Sokka, I think it would be best if we tried to blend in." Sokka looked at him, horrified.

"Blend in? Look, Zuko. I get the whole, 'I don't want anyone to know I'm the Fire Lord', thing you're doing here but I'm on vacation." He looked Zuko up and down, appraising his outfit. "I wonder how I would look in black."

"Fine." Zuko huffed, grabbing a pair of pants and a similar tunic to Sokka's old one that were dyed a deep burgundy. The brunette smiled widely and began stepping out of his blue pants. Zuko waited patiently, averting his eyes when the tanned skin of Sokka's upper thighs became visible. The boy was wearing a loincloth but something about seeing him so exposed made Zuko distinctly uncomfortable. He noted, somewhat displeased at the sudden warmth that was growing low in his belly, that Sokka's skin was the same shade of caramel all over. He shifted awkwardly, trying to dispel the odd feelings coming over him. He breathed heavily in relief when he saw the young man pull the tunic over his shoulders and secure it closed with a black sash. Sokka looked down and surveyed his new clothes with approval.

"I told you I look good in red. Alright, let's go!"

Zuko grumbled something incoherent, grabbing his hat and following Sokka out the door. He scanned his surroundings quickly, relieved when the guards stayed out of sight. As they walked he listened halfheartedly to Sokka ramble about all the things he felt he needed. He jumped at the opportunity for silence when Sokka's stomach growled at a volume he hadn't previously been sure was possible.

"Maybe we should stop for lunch."

"That... Is a great idea!" Sokka stopped walking and sniffed the air dramatically. "Ahhhh. Meat." They found a food stand fairly quickly and Zuko paid for two of the savory smelling dishes. The owner didn't look twice at their clothing or at Zuko's face. He handed some of the food to his friend, who immediately dug in. Zuko eyed his first before taking a hesitant bite.

"Mmmm, sooo good." Sokka spoke around a mouthful of food, prompting Zuko to shoot him a look of disgust. Sokka merely shrugged it off and continued talking. "See, you have nothing to worry about. That guy barely even looked at you. Just keep flashing the money and all people are going to see is a giant purse." Zuko opened his mouth to protest being called a woman's bag but something at another shop had already caught Sokka's attention. He inhaled the last of his food and grabbed Zuko's hand, pulling him down the street. The paler man balked and tried to pull away but Sokka's grip was tight and he was forced to go along with it. Sokka finally stopped in front of a small weapons shop, his jaw hanging slack in awe.

"Look at this stuff. Everything's so... beautiful." He gushed. Zuko had to admit that the shop's inventory was impressive. There wasn't much but each weapon was unique and looked to have been crafted by the most skilled of metallurgists. Looking closer, he noticed that many of the weapons were imported. He started to go into the shop but stopped when he felt a tug on his arm. Looking down he realized that he and Sokka were still holding hands. He felt a nervous tumble in his chest as he examined the way their skin tones contrasted and he realized that he was actually quite comfortable with the contact. He cleared his throat and squeezed Sokka's hand.

"Um, Sokka."

"Huh?" Sokka looked at him distractedly. Zuko shook his arm gently, trying to make Sokka realize the intimate connection without making the situation more awkward. Sokka's eyes widened in alarm and he looked down at their joined hands and then back up at Zuko, mortified. "Oh. Sorry." His cheeks turned a brilliant shade of crimson and he immediately released his grip, pulling his hand away quickly, as if Zuko had attempted to bend while they were still touching and burned him. Zuko didn't say anything, worried that he would only make the situation worse. He knew that his social skills left something to be desired. Coughing nervously, he walked over to a table that boasted a display of daggers, picking one up and pretending to inspect it closely.

"That's a nice one." Sokka said from behind him, trying to ease the tension.

"Yea." Zuko agreed. "I have one like it. Uncle gave it to me when I was little. The blade on mine is engraved though." He set the dagger back down and took another look around the shop.

"What does it say?"

"Never give up without a fight."

"Good motto." Zuko nodded. It had certainly kept him going when times had been at their toughest. "Oh, hey! Look at this!" Sokka had discovered a brilliant longsword, nearly hidden away in a dusty corner of the shop. He ran his hands across the blade almost lovingly, admiring the craftsmanship.

"Impressive." Zuko said, coming up to stand beside him.

"Yea," he sighed. "It's no space sword though. I made that sword with my own two hands. I miss it. I mean, don't get me wrong, the one I've got now is great and all but that one was mine. Really mine, you know?" Zuko thought about his dagger and his Dao swords and then his firebending. The first two meant something to him, were important to him, but it was his bending that instilled those same kinds of feelings in him. It was a part of him. He imagined he'd only feel like half a person without it. He noticed the sad look in Sokka's eyes and laid his hand gently on the other boy's shoulder. "I guess there's not a whole lot I need a sword for now, though."

"You're still a warrior."

"Yea, but what good's a warrior without a war?" Zuko raised his brow in shock.

"What are you saying? You wish the nations were still fighting each other?"

"No, no. Of course I don't want the war back. I just miss the sense of purpose I had back then. I knew who I was, what I was doing. I had a mission. Now I feel like I've got nothing. I have my family and my tribe but it just feels like something's missing. I feel lost."

"I know the feeling." Zuko's whisper was so quiet that Sokka wasn't sure that he'd actually heard it. He felt a slight increase in pressure on his shoulder from Zuko's hand, a small squeeze, and then the hand was gone. He felt heavier without it. Sokka turned and began walking towards the front of the shop with Zuko following closely behind.

"Are you talking about when you were hunting Aang or now?" He closed his eyes and tilted his head up towards the sun as he stepped out of the shade of the building. Its warmth felt pleasant on his skin. There was a long silence and he began to worry that he'd offended the young man somehow. When Zuko finally did speak it was hesitant, his voice soft.

"I don't know."

Sokka opened his eyes and let them rest on Zuko's face, searching for some clue about what was going on in the young Fire Lord's tormented mind. He reached out and grabbed Zuko's shoulder returning his earlier gesture. Zuko met his eyes briefly and offered him a small smile of gratitude. Sokka didn't press the matter further sure that Zuko would talk to him when he was ready.

They spent the rest of the day exploring the markets of the Upper Ring and generally enjoying each other's company. Their Fire Nation clothing only garnered them a few curious looks and no one recognized Zuko as the Fire Lord just as Sokka had predicted. Zuko had to admit, as the sun was setting and they returned to the home that he'd rented, that Sokka had been right about everything. The day's events had proven to be a welcome distraction and the other boy's obvious delight with the new bag and clothes that he'd purchased seemed to be contagious, bringing a stubborn smile to his face that refused to fade away. He'd smiled more in the last two days than he could remember doing in the last four years. His entire life had been so stressful, it was nice to just behave like a normal person and spend time with someone who didn't seem to want anything more from him than his company.

He didn't flinch or draw back when Sokka touched him or accidentally brushed against him. Small gestures that not even Mai was allowed anymore. He began to enjoy the way his heart fluttered whenever the other boy got too close and the warm tingle that spread through his belly when they prepared for bed that night and Sokka stripped down to just the loincloth. He had prayed that the rush of heat to his face wasn't as obvious as it felt when Sokka returned the clothes to him, coming closer to him than was necessary and lingering for just a little too long. Zuko wasn't sure what these feelings meant but he did know one thing, he had worried for a while that negative emotions were all that he was capable of feeling anymore. Sokka was proving to him that there was still hope for some happiness in his life.


	4. The Confrontation

**I should be writing a paper but this was calling to me. My priorities are in all the right places. **

**please to enjoy my longest chapter so far.**

**I don't own anything.**

As the days passed the two young men fell into an easy routine. Sokka slept in or went off by himself to explore on most mornings, while Zuko locked himself in his office and worked. On the others he practiced with his sword against a dummy that he'd crafted in the courtyard. Those mornings seemed to draw Zuko out of his cave sooner than normal and they'd spar until exhaustion overtook them and they collapsed side by side, each boy afraid to move and break the moment.

Zuko tried harder than ever to mask his emotions, becoming increasingly worried that he would drive the Water Tribesman to leave. It wasn't always possible but it was clear to Sokka that he was trying. For his part, Sokka fell comfortably into the role of peacemaker, ignoring Zuko's mood swings and doing his best to distract the young man from his troubles.

The morning that marked the onset of the fourth week that he'd been in Ba Sing Se, nearly a month and a half since he had left the South Pole, Sokka realized that he had never let his family know that he wasn't on Kyoshi Island. If he had been ready to return home he might have let it go and just waited until he was back with the tribe to explain. But he wasn't and despite all the time that had passed, Zuko made no mention of leaving either, not that Sokka wasn't waiting for it with a rock of apprehension in his gut.

The past few days he'd woken already bracing himself for the news that Zuko was going home, going back to Mai. He didn't understand why the thought of Zuko being with his wife had suddenly started to bother him so much. He'd gone to their wedding, gotten swept up in the romance and even flirted with the idea of proposing to Suki. It hadn't fazed him then but now it kept him in bed long after he'd opened his eyes, as if by not getting up and facing the day it would keep Zuko there, with him.

Each day when the news didn't come, when Zuko smiled at him first thing in the morning instead of snapping at him and started seeking out his company earlier and earlier, the worry began to fade. He knew their little vacation from reality couldn't last forever but he could hope. When he slipped out the door that morning, giving the wall that separated the two rooms a cursory knock to let Zuko know that he was leaving, there was a bounce in his step that had been missing for a while.

The streets were busy with morning traffic and Sokka was sorely tempted to lose the guard that was trailing him. He'd been aware that he was being followed for days and at first he'd felt slighted, believing that the guards were acting on their own suspicions towards him. Then, one morning while he'd pretended to still be asleep, he'd overheard the guard giving Zuko his report, focusing on the fact that no one had threatened Sokka's safety. Despite his annoyance at being what was basically babysat, he left it alone. It was actually kind of nice that Zuko was worried about him, in a weird, paranoid way.

He pushed through the throngs of people until he came to the post office. He knew that Zuko would've let him send the letters via hawks and he was certain that he was going to get yelled at later when the guard tattled on him, but truth be told he wanted some time alone to think. He wasn't really sure what he should say to his family.

He wanted to let them know where he was but he was hesitant to reveal how long he'd been there and even more nervous to tell them why he'd gone there in the first place. He didn't want to explain the breakup with Suki on paper. He didn't really want to explain it _at all_ but he knew they'd be concerned and he couldn't run the risk of them hearing about it from her first. Katara would probably already feel betrayed that he'd essentially, if not intentionally, gone to Zuko to heal. If she heard about the entire thing from someone else, she'd make his life hell.

He wrote the letter to his father and grandmother first. He let them know that he was in Ba Sing Se and that he was staying with Zuko, that things on Kyoshi Island hadn't gone well, and that he wasn't ready to come home. He ended the letter by saying that if they needed anything he'd leave right away but he left out the part about how he hoped that he wouldn't have to.

The letter to Aang and Katara took a bit longer for him to compose. He wasn't worried about the airbender. Aang was an understanding person by nature.

Katara, on the other hand, was going to focus on the fact that Sokka hadn't told her about Suki right away and she was going to be hurt, he was certain of it. He agonized over the wording for at least an hour, trying to make it read in a way that wouldn't cause Katara to freak out too much. In the end he gave up and recounted a concise version of the events that ended the day he got to Ba Sing Se. Hopefully he would be able to convince her that the letter had gotten lost on its way and that he hadn't forgotten.

He paid to have the first sent to the Water Tribe, blanching a little at the price, and would have taken the second one back to the house to be sent by hawk if that wouldn't have ruined his lie about the postal system. Aang and Katara had said they'd be going to Omashu after dropping him off so that's where he sent their letter, half hoping that they weren't actually there. He could imagine Katara insisting that they fly the giant sky bison straight to Ba Sing Se and trying to mother him to death, effectively destroying the good thing he had going with Zuko.

He thought briefly about sending something to Toph, not telling her his life story or anything, just letting her know that he was in the area and that he missed her but he decided that one could be done by bird... and for free. Stepping back onto the street he gave a small salute, knowing that the guard would see it and hopefully sweat it for the rest of the day. Deciding not to put his Fire Nation shadow out of his misery quite yet, Sokka decided to do some more shopping. If Katara didn't accept his story about the letter then he could at least buy her forgiveness with presents when he eventually saw her again.

After stopping at what seemed like the hundredth jewelry stand where he couldn't afford anything that he looked at he decided to give up. Katara would just have to accept a heartfelt apology and the fact that her big brother was a grown man who didn't need her to take care of him. And he didn't... most of the time.

"I hope you are not searching for a trinket to give to one of my employees." The kind old voice startled him into dropping the bracelet he'd been holding, earning him a glare from the merchant. He bowed quickly to the woman and backed away, shifting safely behind Iroh who in turn winked and smiled in the woman's direction. Sokka's jaw dropped when the lady's cheeks colored and she giggled like one of the serving girls that the old man had been talking about. He stood rooted to the spot for a moment after Iroh had already begun walking away until the merchant looked at him again, her expression immediately withering. A small yelp escaped his mouth as he hurried away, catching up to Zuko's uncle in three long strides.

"I'm afraid your presence in the city has become quite a distraction for them. They are very sweet girls but if you were to choose between them, I believe I would have to begin looking for help all over again." Iroh continued as if Sokka hadn't fallen behind, chuckling. He didn't seem to notice Sokka's reluctance to join in his joke. If the young man were to be completely honest with himself, he'd lost interest in the girls within the first week. He still thought they were pretty and he had to admit that he enjoyed the attention that they showered upon him, but they weren't his type.

"Ha, yea, I wouldn't worry about that. I was actually looking for something for my sister. I sort of forgot to tell her that I was here until today. I thought something sparkly might help her forgive me."

"I must admit that is a relief, though I was not too worried." Iroh gave him a knowing smile that Sokka wasn't sure how to interpret. "Did you not find anything that was worthy of the young waterbender?"

"Nah, I found some pretty nice stuff, just nothingI can afford to buy for her." He looked away, embarrassed by his financial issues. He'd spent most of the money that he'd brought with him already, unable to resist when Zuko wasn't there to tell him that he was being ridiculous.

"Enjoying your extended vacation, I see."

"Yea." Sokka grinned sheepishly. He couldn't deny the truth of that statement but he didn't have to admit to Iroh that it wasn't the shopping that was making the trip worthwhile.

"I am glad. It is too easy to forget how to enjoy life. There is a reason that I never protested losing my birthright to Zuko's father." Sokka looked at him with interest. He honestly didn't know much about what had happened within Zuko's family except that most of it revolved around his dad and it sucked. That and his sister was a major bitch.

"I've gotta admit running a tea shop doesn't exactly sound like the obvious choice."

"Tea is what I love and being Fire Lord was never my destiny."

"Right, it's Zuko's. No matter how miserable it's making him." He grumbled the last part under his breath, not intending for Iroh to hear.

"It _is_ unfortunate. He is very hard on himself. My nephew does not see all the good that he has done since taking the throne, only his mistakes." He flashed the same knowing smile at Sokka. "I regret that he seems to feel that he's still alone, as well." Sokka raised an eyebrow.

"Alone? He's got the Avatar to back up everything he does! He's got friends in every nation! He's got Mai." Mai's name didn't seem to want to leave his throat and came out as more of a croak compared to his previous exclamations. "He's already married to the love of his life. How could he think he's alone?"

"Ah but you are young, as is Zuko. He is married, yes, but his life has barely even begun. How can you know that he's already found the only love he'll ever have? You do not strike me as the type of young man who believes that love can only find a person once." Sokka swallowed hard, he hadn't really ever thought about it like that.

"Do you think if he weren't the Fire Lord that he wouldn't have married her?" His cheeks colored slightly at the obvious hope in his voice.

"Worrying about what has already happened will not grant you happiness, my young friend. You must look to the future, because _that _is always changing. It took me a very long time to learn to that." Sokka only nodded, unsure how to respond. They reached the door of Iroh's tea shop and Sokka stopped, bowing to the old man and whispering.

"Thank you, Iroh." The older man bowed in return and smiled.

"It is _I_ who must thank _you_. I love Zuko as my son and your companionship makes him happy. His happiness is mine as well. I do not believe that he will think himself alone much longer. "

Sokka didn't move as Iroh disappeared into the shop, dumbfounded for the second time that day. He didn't understand everything that the older man had said to him but something about his words had further lightened Sokka's mood, to the point that as he walked away he nearly felt as if he were floating.

_______________________________________________________

Zuko stood, shaking, in the center of the courtyard. He stared at the parchment in his hands as if he could will the words to change and tell him something else. Nausea and adrenaline had caused a cold sweat to break out on his skin and it itched where his hair and the cloth from his pants stuck to it. His eyes and cheeks were wet but not with tears of despair. The tears had fallen out of anger as he'd expelled his aggression from his body in great bursts of flame. As he stood there now the walls surrounding him were scorched, the stone blackened with soot.

He'd been this mad before. Unsure of himself, of his life, and she'd been there to comfort him. She wouldn't be there this time. She wasn't the one that he wanted by his side anymore, anyway and he thought that should make him feel better but it didn't. His legs gave out and he fell to his knees when he heard the footsteps behind him. He hated himself for brightening at the sound. Hated how he'd come to rely on the other boy to take care of him. Hated how he wanted him, how he _needed _him. He didn't turn to look as Sokka stepped through the hole that he had burned in the paper door. The Water Tribesman deserved better. He wouldn't let himself ruin Sokka's life too.

Sokka looked around warily, surveying the damage that Zuko had done. His mood dampened considerably. Something was _very _wrong. He took a few tentative steps towards the kneeling young man but Zuko didn't move.

"Zuko?" He reached out and laid a hand palm down on Zuko's bare back, cringing slightly at the temperature of the other boy's skin. "Are you sick?"

Zuko let out a deep and shuddering sigh and shrugged away from Sokka's touch.

"I want you to leave. Go home." His voice was low but Sokka heard the words. He snatched his hand back in shock and sank to the ground slowly until he was sitting next to Zuko who still hadn't looked at him.

"You're going back to the Fire Nation?" He asked glumly, staring at his knees.

Zuko just shook his head. "Don't make this harder. Go back to the people who love you while they still do." The words stung but Sokka heard the struggle in his voice.

He felt a wave of deja vu rush over him, as if he were back on Kyoshi Island getting dumped by Suki all over again. Only this wasn't a breakup, he reminded himself, and Suki's voice hadn't faltered like that. Her words had rung clear as a bell. She hadn't been mean but she'd been prepared and she'd been steadfast in her resolve.

It was as if the ground had moved beneath him, like he was suspended in mid air but his stomach was falling. It hadn't taken long for him to understand that she was right. That they were leading separate lives and they needed to face the fact that their relationship wasn't moving forward but it had still hurt at first.

He felt that same sick feeling now. Like Zuko had turned around and punched him in the stomach, only this time he didn't think it was going to fade to understanding so quickly. He glanced over at Zuko's face, hoping to see some hint that he was lying, that he didn't mean what he was saying. He was staring down, his jaw clenched, black hair blocking his face from Sokka's searching eyes. Then Sokka noticed the wrinkled piece of parchment that Zuko clutched in his fists.

He felt the slightest bit of hope bubble in his chest. Maybe, just maybe, this wasn't about him. He knew Zuko was emotional and probably unstable but he reached over to him anyway, willing to risk getting burned to show Zuko that he cared.

"Sokka please. Please." Zuko choked out as he sensed the other boy about to touch him again. "Just go."

"No. Tell me what's wrong. What does that say?" He gestured to the letter, reaching for it slowly, but Zuko flinched and snatched it away, setting it aflame before Sokka could read it. He faced him, his eyes frantic and rimmed in red but his face set in stone.

"Get out of here!" Sokka cowered slightly as Zuko loomed over him but he didn't move. "Aughh. " Zuko growled and fisted his hands in his own hair, pulling it in frustration. "I can have you physically removed."

"You wouldn't do that. I'll sic Katara on you." Sokka tried to lighten the mood, chuckling nervously. Zuko's glare faltered for a second and Sokka thought he actually might smile before he caught himself and it turned vicious. The younger boy only had time to briefly register his shock before Zuko's fist was flying towards his face.

"What the hell are you doing?" He yelped as he dove out of the way, wincing as the stone scraped his skin. Rolling onto his back, he curled his legs into his body and kicked out as Zuko lunged for him, catching the pale boy square in the chest and send him flying backwards. He wasn't about to get kicked out and beat up at the same time because Zuko wanted to have a temper tantrum.

Scrambling to his knees he was able to throw his arms in front of his face just in time to block another punch. He struck out blindly, panic overtaking him when he felt Zuko's hand close over his wrist and pull him forward. He moaned as he hit the ground hard, slamming his chin on the stone and biting his lip. He struggled to get his hands underneath him and push himself up, grimacing as he spit blood.

"Zuko, what the _fuck_ are you doing? I'm your friend!" He turned around in time to see the Fire Lord standing over him, ready to attack again. He spat a second time and braced himself but Zuko hesitated. Catching sight of the blood dripping down the tan chin his face softened but Sokka didn't wait to see what he was going to do. He stuck a leg in between Zuko's feet and kicked forward, knocking the other boy onto his back.

Faster than he knew he could move he was hovering over Zuko's body, his right hand bracing himself on the ground to the side of the firebender's head, the other firmly gripping his neck. He put all of his weight on his left leg, his kneecap pressing hard into the ground just outside of Zuko's. The other one was braced lightly against the tender skin at the upper inside of Zuko's thigh.

"Are you done?" He growled. He tightened his grip on Zuko's throat when he didn't acknowledge him, not enough to affect the other's ability to breathe but enough to let him know that he wasn't kidding around. "I said. Are you done?"

Zuko closed his eyes and nodded slightly.

"Good. Now what the fuck is wrong with you!" Zuko swallowed under Sokka's hand.

"You weren't listening to me. You weren't going to leave." He spoke softly but Sokka could feel his throat moving with every syllable.

"So you tried to punch me?" He asked incredulously. Zuko opened his eyes, the emotion in them flowing over Sokka.

"I didn't want to hurt you." Sokka raised up slightly then came back down, moving his hand to the other side of Zuko's head to get more leverage. His face was a mask of confusion as he glared down.

"You didn't want to hurt me... so you tried to beat me up. Your logic never fails to amaze me, you jerk." His voice was hard and low. If Zuko's plan had been to piss him off then he'd succeeded. He lowered himself until their chests were touching, silk to skin, and his eyes were burning into Zuko's. He felt Zuko's breath hitch and he increased the pressure from his knee, feeling spiteful.

Zuko's eyes widened and Sokka nearly smiled sadistically. His anger didn't hide the intimacy of their positions from him, intimacy he'd been craving for days, but he'd be damned if he let Zuko get the better of him. He didn't shift when Zuko's face hardened.

"I tried to punch you because it seemed like a better idea than what I wanted to do."

"Please enlighten me, Zuko. What was so bad that _this_ was better?" He jutted his chin out, forcing Zuko to look at the blood still collecting on his lip and the patch of skin that had hit the ground. He started to pull back when Zuko didn't answer, already mentally berating himself for putting himself in the position to get his heart broken again. He wasn't ready when Zuko spoke, already lifting his head.

"This."

Sokka froze as Zuko shifted underneath him and closed the tiny gap between them. Ignoring the blood, he pressed his lips to Sokka's, putting as much pressure as he could into the kiss without trying to turn it into anything else, just enough to show Sokka how he felt.

_____________________________________

**There was more but it was getting confusing and I need to go to bed. Just know that I didn't throw that fight scene in there for my own perverse pleasure (even though that _was _part of the reason) and it will be explained right away in the next chapter which will also be smutty. Hooray smut! **


	5. The Rented Room

**Alright. First things first. I am really sorry if the first half of this is confusing. I've rewritten it like five times trying to get it to flow and make perfect sense. I even contemplated scrapping it and jumping straight into the smut but things just didn't sit right with me without this little interlude. Misunderstandings are **_**really **_**difficult to write so if you don't understand something just ask and if anyone has any ideas of how I could make this clearer, please let me know. **

**This chapter is rated NC-17 for explicit and very yummy boy sex, which means no minors allowed. I also don't own anything.**

Sokka felt himself begin to relax into Zuko's mouth, a fog of pleasure confusing his brain. A small voice in the back of his mind was fighting to get through, yelling at him not to trust what he was feeling. When Zuko pulled away it took him a brief moment to come back to the world. When he did, Zuko was watching him, eyes narrowed. Sokka searched the gold for any sign that the other boy had meant the kiss but he couldn't read the emotions that were reflecting back at him.

It was only then that he realized it was probably just another of the firebender's ploys to get rid of him. His heart dropped at the same time that fury began to boil deep within his chest. He was _not _going to let Zuko make a fool of him.

He pushed himself into a crouch, not even trying to be careful about removing his knee from Zuko's thigh. The other boy blanched and valiantly resisted the urge to roll into the fetal position.

Sokka stood, snarling. "Do you think that's going to work? If you want me to leave that badly, then fine. You don't have to insult me."

Zuko struggled to sit up, gasping. "What?"

His face was screwed up in pain and Sokka easily decided that it was just physical discomfort. It was a struggle to keep his own emotions from taking over his features but he managed. He could be just as strong as Zuko, he'd had plenty of hardship in his life too, and he would prove it.

"You know what, though? You're right. I would rather have a fat lip than be mocked by my supposed friend." His hands fisted at his sides and he turned away. "You're a real gem, Zuko."

"Sokka I... I just thought... At least after I tried to hit you you'd still look at me." He waited a beat, hoping that Sokka would say something. He knew putting his feelings in the open would be a bad idea but he hadn't expected Sokka of all people to react so harshly. When the younger boy didn't move he hung his head. "I'm sorry."

"For what, exactly? Attacking me or humiliating me?"

"Attacking you, mostly, though I'm starting to regret it less and less." He grumbled.

He'd screwed up. Just like always. If she'd never sent him that letter then there was a chance that everything could have continued in the way that it was going. He would've been able to keep his feelings from Sokka until they parted ways and then it would be years before he'd have to face his heart again.

But no, it wouldn't have been like that. He'd grown too attached. He'd barely been able to control himself when Sokka had tried to touch him, when he'd been sitting so close and making jokes. The urge to reach over, to feel those sinewy muscles beneath his palms, to press his lips to that tan skin, to simply come out and tell him that he... It had been too much, so he'd reacted in the way he understood best. He lashed out, letting his anger get the best of him and putting Sokka on the receiving end of his unhappiness with himself.

Sokka finally turned around, the tears he'd been trying so hard not to shed starting to pool in his eyes, attracting the light and making them sparkle like sapphires. Zuko cursed himself. This is exactly what he'd wanted to avoid.

Sokka crossed his arms over his chest, determined to hide his broken heart under a mask of anger.

"So what has this been, Zuko? The last three weeks? Has this whole thing just been an extended practical joke at my expense?"

"A joke? What about this is funny?" Zuko furrowed his brow in confusion.

"You tell me! I thought we were friends. I thought you _cared _about me! "

The young Fire Lord found the strength to stand up, determination seeping into his face. He stalked over to the younger man, favoring his left leg, and grabbed him roughly by the shoulders.

"I _do_ care about you, you idiot. That's why I want you to leave." He hissed the words, shaking Sokka slightly for emphasis. Sokka stood strong, flinching only when he noticed the smoke that seeped out of Zuko's mouth with every word. The knowledge that Zuko could burn him any second hung over his head like a black cloud but he set his jaw and stood his ground. He wasn't going to slink out the door with his tail between his legs.

"Well I'm utterly confused. I would be more than glad to leave right now Zuko, but I deserve an explanation at least. You owe me that."

"You'll be happier without it." Zuko growled.

"So now you're worried about my happiness? Please don't try and punch me again, but have you been anywhere near a cactus today?" Sokka narrowed his eyes. It wasn't a joke but he was running out of theories to explain Zuko's weird behavior other than the one he refused to admit to himself. He could take the abuse, he could take Zuko 's temper tantrums, he'd already been prepared to live his life with feelings that would never be reciprocated, but if Zuko truly hated him. He didn't think he could take that.

"A cactus?" The slightest hint of bewilderment flashed over Zuko's face.

"Don't worry about it. Just let me go, Zuko. I'll go back to the South Pole and get out of your life. " He shrugged out of Zuko's grip and starting walking away. He _was_ an idiot. If he'd never left the South Pole he'd still have a girlfriend, he'd still have a best friend, and he wouldn't feel like he'd been trampled by a komodo rhino, mauled by a mooselion, and then trampled again.

"Ugh." Zuko scrubbed his face with the heels of his palms. He'd wanted Sokka to leave to spare him any pain and it was obvious he'd failed miserably at that. He probably should have expected that he would, given his track record. "Sokka."

The Watertribe boy didn't even hesitate. Zuko panicked. He couldn't let it end this way.

"I wanted you to leave because I didn't want to hurt you!"

"Yea, you already tried that one. I'm just kinda curious about why you were planning on hurting me in the first place." He'd stopped walking but he was still facing the door.

"Sokka... I've hurt everyone that I love. I've brought misfortune and unhappiness to everyone that cares about me. I didn't want to do that to you." His voice was pleading, begging, not the kind of voice used by royalty but it was the kind of voice used by a desperate boy.

"You... you love me?" The younger boy turned slowly, suspicion still very evident in his expression.

"I kissed you!"

"I kiss my Gran Gran and my sister all the time."

"Like that?" Zuko furrowed his brow, daring Sokka to say yes. "We're not family, Sokka."

Sokka relaxed his glare slowly, the hope in his chest inflating rapidly like a balloon. He didn't want to give in to it but he wanted it to be true so badly. He didn't say anything, afraid that if he opened his mouth the feeling would rush out and leave him broken again.

"I understand that you don't feel the same way. I didn't mean to embarrass you. But I feel that, in all fairness, you were somewhat at fault for that." He cleared his throat in discomfort, thinking of the heat that had rushed through his body while Sokka was practically lying on top of him with his knee... right there.

"So, you pulled this whole psycho stunt, kicking me out, fighting me, and then kissing me... because you love me?"

Zuko fought the urge to growl and fisted his hands against the fire that wanted to be let free.

"Yes."

"You kicked me out, beat me up, and kissed me because you love me. You _love_ me. You love _me._ _You_..."

"Enough! I am not going to say it again. Now will you go?"

The young warrior couldn't stop the delirious grin that spread across his face. He'd been wrong. So, so wrong. He'd never been so happy to be wrong in his life.

"No." He took a few steps closer to the visibly frustrated firebender. Zuko's eyes widened and he groaned in frustration, raking his hands through his hair and muttering.

"You unbelievable, stubborn, idiotic, _stubborn..."_

"You already said stubborn." A few more steps.

"Because it's true!"

"I'm not leaving, Zuko." One more step and they were only centimeters apart. He could feel Zuko's breath on his cheek.

"You should." Zuko whispered it so softly, so unsure of himself, so afraid that Sokka actually _would _go.

"No. I shouldn't." He took a deep breath and pressed his lips to Zuko's. He leaned forward too quickly and felt the gash in his lip press sharply against his teeth but he didn't back away. He needed this too much.

Terror fluttered through his chest and stomach when Zuko didn't return the kiss at first, but within seconds he felt strong arms encircle his shoulders, one hand latching onto the back of his neck, the other fisting in his hair. He let out a small gasp when he felt the sharp pain in his scalp that told him his hair was being pulled _hard, _but Zuko only took that opportunity to run his tongue over Sokka's bottom lip and graze his teeth.

Sokka vaguely realized that the firebender actually tasted like smoke but in an addictive, delicious way, like smoked meat. He immediately knew it was a taste he would never be able to get enough of. It barely registered when his own hands snaked around Zuko's waist, his fingernails digging sharply into the pale skin and grasping at the thin silk that rested so tantalizingly low on the other boy's hips.

Zuko's fingers worked the leather band from Sokka's hair, letting it fall loose to his chin. When a low moan rumbled in his throat he came back to his senses briefly. Regret was already beginning to push at his conscience. It was too late to save Sokka and that knowledge gnawed at his heart. It never occurred to him that Sokka didn't want to be saved.

He pulled back enough to whisper into the Water Tribesman's mouth, his lips brushing over the tan skin with each syllable.

"We can't do this. I won't drag you down too."

Sokka growled and dug his nails further into Zuko's skin. "Will you just... _Shut. Up._"

He smiled mischievously when he felt Zuko stiffen against him, the hand in his hair yanking violently so that Sokka was forced to lean his head back and look into Zuko's eyes. This time he liked what he saw. The golden irises were clouded over with lust and desire but Sokka could finally see the vulnerability, the fear, the love.

Sokka took a step back, letting his hands fall away from Zuko's skin. His own skin chilled in protest beneath his tunic, which was exactly the problem. He suddenly, desperately, wanted it off. The hand on his neck tightened and tried to pull him in again but he resisted. His muscles had developed since he was a kid and Zuko didn't have size or strength on him anymore.

Reaching up, he gripped Zuko's wrist and gently unhooked the hand from his neck, blue eyes never leaving golden ones. Zuko slid his own hand out of Sokka's hair and lightly let it trail down over his shoulder until his fingertips brushed the collar of Sokka's tunic. It clasped around his neck and gave no hint to the muscled chest that lay beneath, a fact that suddenly made Zuko very mad at the piece of cloth.

Sokka saw the hunger in Zuko's eyes that told him his clothes were going to suffer for his lust and some offending remnant of sanity forced him to pull away before Zuko could take action. He was particularly fond of this tunic. For a brief second Zuko faltered, terrified that he'd already done something wrong. He took a few shaky steps backward, prepared for the world to come crashing down.

"Will you stop freaking out?" Sokka reached out and grabbed his hand, fighting the chuckle that was building in his throat. It was cute, really, how nervous Zuko seemed to be. It wasn't like he had any real experience in this type of situation either, at least not with another guy, but he prided himself on his ability to perform under pressure.

With his free hand he reached up and undid the clasp on his collar himself, giving Zuko's hand a reassuring squeeze with the other.

"Stop." Zuko's voice was hoarse with desire. Sokka's hand stilled immediately, waiting for direction. "We... we should go inside."

Sokka smiled with relief and nodded, moving his hand awkwardly to run it through his hair as he glanced towards the burned door. It seemed miles away. Letting go of Zuko, he turned and began to walk away from the young man for the second time that day.

He felt hands on his shoulders the instant that he stepped into the room, gripping tensely and turning him around. His mouth was caught by warm lips before he had a chance to glimpse the other boy's face but the taste was still there, lingering on his tongue. Zuko trailed his hands down Sokka's chest, pressing firmly through the fabric, as if trying to memorize the curves and indents of his skin and muscles by touch. His breath quickened when his fingertips reached the sash tied around Sokka's waist.

He fumbled with the knot, eager to remove the barrier, desperate to feel Sokka's skin against his. When the ties wouldn't budge he growled into Sokka's mouth with frustration.

"I'm going to burn it." He whispered, pulling back just enough to brush his mouth across Sokka's jaw line, grazing the skin with his teeth, before nipping at the younger boy's earlobe.

"Zuko..." Sokka moaned into his ear. Zuko felt a shiver of pleasure run down his spine at the feeling of Sokka's hot breath on his skin. His fists tightened on the sash and he smiled into the other boy's hair when the acrid scent of charred silk permeated the air.

"Aw man." Sokka whined and dipped his head so that his face was resting in the curve of Zuko's shoulder. He bit hard at the tender flesh of the firebender's neck in retribution. He vaguely wondered if ruining his clothes this way was going to become a habit. The thought barely pressed its way into his mind before it was rudely forced out by the sudden feeling of cool air on his bare chest.

Zuko ripped the tunic from Sokka's shoulders with no concern for the delicate fabric. Sokka's mouth watered at the hungry look that commanded the pale boy's face as his eyes raked over Sokka's body. An evil smile crossed Zuko's features before he lunged forward, grabbing Sokka's upper arms roughly and shoving him forcefully onto his back on the bed. Sokka's breathing became shallow as he watched Zuko loom over him, working to undo the tie to his pants.

He supported himself on his elbows and observed the firebender for a few brief seconds, taking in the way his pale skin moved over his lithe muscles and the way the sunlight that was streaming in from the hole in the door seemed to highlight his body in a way that made him look downright godly. It still seemed surreal that he could reach out and touch that chiseled stomach, those strong arms, but he reminded himself that he could and that, more importantly, he should.

He licked his lips and sat up, leaning forward to take over untying Zuko's pants. He had a better angle and so he was able to loosen them quickly, a distinctly unmanly gurgle escaping his throat as he pulled the silk down over Zuko's hips. Zuko clumsily kicked off his boots and stepped out of his pants, leaving them lying ungracefully on the floor.

Sokka's mouth went dry at the sight of Zuko before him, all his previous bravado leaving him. Before he could decide what to do, Zuko had pushed him back down and was kneeling between his legs.

"Oh fuck!" He moaned as he felt Zuko's teeth nipping lightly at the skin below his belly button. He bucked his hips lightly and fisted his hands in Zuko's silky black hair. Zuko licked and nibbled his way up Sokka's torso, pausing briefly to give a playful tug on each nipple with his teeth. Sokka moaned and grunted with the contact, pulling on Zuko's hair in an attempt to bring their mouths together. He was finally rewarded when he felt Zuko plant his hands on either side of his head and lean down to bite lightly at Sokka's still sore bottom lip.

Sokka gasped audibly and bucked hard when he felt Zuko push against him, the feeling of Zuko's naked erection pressing against his through the silk was enough to set off fireworks behind his eyes.

"Fuck, Zuko, my pants." His hands left Zuko's hair and raked down his back, stopping to grip the backs of his thighs tightly. Zuko's response was to undulate forward with force, pressing himself into Sokka's stomach. Sokka dug his fingernails into the sensitive flesh on the inside of Zuko's thighs, not caring in the least if he drew blood. "Zuko..." He growled, catching the other boy's lip between his teeth and tugging violently.

Zuko hissed at the pain and reached down quickly to grip the water tribesman tightly through the fabric of his pants. He brushed his thumb over the tip, grinning when Sokka whimpered and dug his nails in even deeper. He extricated himself from the younger boy's grip and removed his hand from Sokka's erection, earning him a louder and more pathetic whimper. His own erection was throbbing painfully between his legs, completely undiminished by the painful welts that Sokka's nails had raised so close to it.

Zuko grabbed the waistband of Sokka's pants and tugged violently, ripping them, the sound audible even over their labored breathing.

"Come on!" Sokka squealed, still managing to be upset over his ruined clothing despite his intense arousal. He hooked a leg around one of Zuko's and flipped him over. His intent had been to gain control of the situation but he felt the muscles in his arms weaken when Zuko only took the opportunity to shove Sokka's pants down his legs and wrap his hand around the base of Sokka's shaft.

"Stop whining." Zuko snarled, stroking once and enjoying the way Sokka's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"Ungh." Sokka responded, trying desperately to gets his boots off. They dropped to the floor as he maneuvered himself further onto the bed, his pants still hanging from one ankle. He met Zuko's stare as he thrust into the warmth of the firebender's grip, fighting the urge to close his eyes as he moaned. He braced himself on his knees and leaned on his forearms so that he could press a feverish kiss to Zuko's mouth.

He tried to speak as he pulled away but it came out as a choked gasp when Zuko ran his thumb over the tip of his erection, sending violent shivers through his body. He nearly collapsed onto the boy beneath him as waves of pleasure rolled over him.

"Sokka. Sokka, please." He heard the thin gasps in his ear but it didn't register that he'd been ignoring Zuko this entire time in favor of his own gratification.

"Fuck, fuck. I'm sorry." He whispered, reaching down between them to ghost his hand over Zuko's engorged flesh. He heard Zuko hiss in pleasure and bucked forward, rubbing the exposed portions of their erections together. He ran his tongue along the inside of Zuko's good ear and pushed forward again, feeling the warmth in his belly grow each time a moan escaped his lover's mouth.

He tried to stroke with the same rhythm that Zuko was applying to him but he couldn't focus over the burn in his arm from holding himself up and the building euphoria that was overcoming him. He groaned in protest when he felt the warmth from Zuko's hand leave him and tried, unsuccessfully, to follow it.

"What... why are you... fuck!" He panted as he watched Zuko raise his own hand to his mouth and spit into it, quickly returning it to Sokka's erection and pumping with renewed vigor. Sokka nearly collapsed from the pleasure that engulfed him as Zuko's moistened hand glided over him with ease. He forgot his own obligation to Zuko's arousal as his senses clouded. He jerked involuntarily into Zuko's hand, pressing his forehead into the sweat dampened sheets and muffling his cries of ecstasy in Zuko's shoulder. A violent spasm racked his body as the pressure in his groin became too much and he came into the firebender's hand. He collapsed as the warm, sticky liquid coated both of their stomachs.

He was aware of Zuko's erection still twitching with want against him as he lay on Zuko's chest, trying to catch his breath.

"Sokka?" Zuko's whisper was fearful and sad, filled with worry that his own climax would be forgotten. He stroked his free hand across Sokka's back and kissed the side of his head, the salty taste of sweat permeating his mouth. Sokka, in turn, kissed his shoulder, murmuring something unintelligible. He shifted slightly so that he could get a better angle to minister to Zuko without losing the comforting heat that was emanating from their connected bodies.

He let go of Zuko for a brief second and ran his hand over the older boy's stomach, collecting some of the viscous liquid in his palm before quickly returning his hand to the base of Zuko's shaft. Easing his sore arm underneath Zuko's head, he rested his cheek on the pale boy's chest and began to pump slowly. Zuko's moan caused his chest to vibrate pleasantly against Sokka's skull inspiring him to tighten his grip. He squeezed lightly as he increased the speed of his movements, pressing his face into Zuko's glistening skin and inhaling his unique scent.

He pressed a kiss against a pert nipple and ran this thumb over Zuko's tip, enjoying the way it made the firebender shiver and gasp. Zuko fisted one hand in the sheets and brought the other to Sokka's hip, grasping at muscle and skin and pulling the tan boy closer to him.

"Fuck, Sokka, fuck! I'm... I'm"

"Shhh, just do it." Sokka whispered against the puckered pink skin of Zuko's nipple, eager to show the young Fire Lord the same amount of pleasure that he'd experienced. Zuko bucked wildly into Sokka's hand, all measure of rhythm lost as he neared his own climax. He dug his nails painfully into Sokka's side as his orgasm overcame him.

Sokka curled his leg over Zuko's body as the tremors of his climax faded, wiping his hand off on the sheets before draping it over other boy's chest and lightly brushing his thumb over the pale skin just beneath Zuko's scar.

Zuko wrapped his free arm around Sokka's waist and pulled him closer, maneuvering the other so that it rested between the curve of Sokka's hip and the bed. He turned his head so that he could press another kiss into Sokka's damp hair.

"Hey." Sokka mumbled against Zuko's chest.

"Hmm."

Sokka tilted his head so that he could see Zuko's face, using his thumb to force the firebender to look at him. Zuko's molten golden eyes met his and regarded him with affection. His heart swelled.

"I love you too, jerk." He whispered.


	6. The Reason

**I'm actually really happy with the way this chapter turned out. My goal was to explain away Maiko without bashing Mai because I actually really like her character, just not with Zuko, and I think I did that pretty successfully. Unfortunately this isn't the last chapter that will have hints of Maiko. That letter, which will be explained soon, will tie her pretty intricately to Zuko and Sokka's relationship. Why did I do this, you ask. Because I like making things difficult for myself, that's why.**

**I don't own anything and this chapter is not suitable for minors.**

The room was bathed in black when Sokka awoke next. It was a moonless night and it was impossible for him to see anything right away. He groaned and tried to bury himself deeper in the bed linens, searching subconsciously for a source of heat that should have been there but wasn't. He didn't know what he was looking for but he knew it was missing and that he needed it. Grunting in frustration, he rolled over onto his back and threw his arm over his head, his eyes flying open in surprise when his skin came in contact with something soft hovering just over his face.

"What the...?" He blinked rapidly trying to acclimate his vision to the darkness as quickly as possible. Reaching up, his hand hit the soft object again, only inches from his mouth and nose. He was about to grab it when the area was suddenly illuminated and he realized that he was looking directly at a pillow that was being held just a little too close to his facial orifices.

"Holy crap!" He swung out wildly, knocking the pillow away so that he was staring into the calm, contemplative face of his lover.

His eyes widened in shock as his brain slowly digested the situation.

"Zuko! What the hell are you doing?" He scrambled to sit up, crab-walking clumsily away from the possibly homicidal firebender. Zuko sat cross legged on the bed, the pillow clutched tightly in one hand and resting in his lap. His other hand was held away from the flammable bed linens, a spark of fire dancing hypnotically in his open palm. He stared at Sokka, no emotion in his face.

"You snore." He said calmly.

"And you're just _now_ figuring that out? I've been sleeping in the same room with you for almost a month!"

Zuko's mouth twitched slightly. "It's different when it's right in my ear."

"Look buddy, you've got no one to blame for that but yourself." Sokka stated, pointing an accusatory finger in the other man's direction. Zuko shifted uncomfortably but didn't look away. "I know I said that I wouldn't leave and all, but I draw the line at attempted murder."

"I wasn't trying to _kill _you."

"You were about to smother me!"

"I was only contemplating it."

Sokka's mouth dropped open in shock and he fumbled for a response. "I... you... you can't... "

As he stumbled around his brain he noticed, with dismay, that Zuko had replaced his pants and cleaned himself up. He was still naked and sticky and starting to chill without the firebender's warmth against him but he wasn't about to try and cuddle with the guy who had just been _thinking _about murdering him in his sleep.

He felt around behind himself as discreetly as possible and closed his fist over the corner of the pillow that he had been using. With a grunt he swung it forward, aiming for the side of Zuko's head. Zuko merely let go of the one in his lap and raised his hand to intercept the attack. He pulled the pillow out of Sokka's hand, the momentum dragging the Water Tribesman forward with it. He landed on his chest, his face inches from Zuko's knee.

"Umpf." He stayed down for a few seconds, breathing in the scent of sex and sweat that lingered on the sheets, struggling to understand the situation he was in. He had to admit some parts of this relationship were already getting old. He finally moved when he felt a hand on his shoulder, warm and surprisingly gentle. He flopped over onto his back so that he was staring up into Zuko's face. The firebender looked amused which irritated him to no end. A low growl rumbled in his throat but a warm hand on his forehead silenced him.

Zuko absently began to run his fingers through the longest strands of Sokka's hair. Sokka raised an eyebrow at the affectionate gesture but didn't say anything, not completely sure where the triggers to Zuko's mood swings were anymore.

"It's been a while since I've shared my bed with anyone." The young Fire Lord finally admitted as his shoulders slumped in defeat. His fingers left the mop of brown hair and lightly brushed the side of Sokka's face. Zuko traced the swell of the tan lips before moving to the tight chest, unconsciously following the contours of Sokka's muscles. The firebender's golden eyes were focused elsewhere, completely unaware of the reaction he was getting from his supine lover.

Sokka struggled against the pleasant tingling that Zuko's fingertips elicited from his skin. He wanted Zuko to talk to him, to feel comfortable divulging things to him, and bringing attention to his little warrior at that moment would no doubt break the spell. When he didn't think he could take it anymore he grabbed Zuko's wrist and pulled his hand down so that the pale palm was lying flat against his abdomen. It wasn't the best solution but at least Zuko's fingers weren't torturing him with their movement anymore.

He thought about what Zuko had said and felt his mouth moving ahead of his brain. "You haven't even been here a month."

The frown on Zuko's face told him that he should have stayed quiet. There was clearly more going on than he understood.

"You mean... you and Mai don't...?"

Zuko shook his head, his thumb beginning to brush back and forth against Sokka's smooth skin, subverting the young man's attempts to keep his arousal down. Sokka's hand was still wrapped around Zuko's pale wrist and he squeezed it gently. Zuko offered him a small smile but it was forced and hollow. The day's earlier events suddenly made a bit more sense to the Water Tribesman. A part of his heart broke for the troubled young man even as another, guilty, part of it jumped at the news.

He resisted the urge to press Zuko for details, though he itched to know just what had driven the couple apart. He sensed, based on Zuko's earlier statements about how he hurt the people he loved, that whatever had happened, he blamed himself.

"We were too young. I'd barely been the Fire Lord for a year. I didn't know how it would consume my life when I asked her to marry me." He hesitated and the uttered a quiet, " She has a right to be happy."

Sokka tried to picture a happy Mai and failed but he kept the thought to himself. Whatever had happened to separate the two was clearly still causing Zuko pain and an evil twinge of jealousy to stab at Sokka's heart.

"You still love her?" It wasn't meant to sound like an accusation. Sokka knew he had no right to harbor bitter feelings toward the other man's wife. _He _was the one who was in the wrong in this situation.

"I do." Zuko choked out, his voiced tinged with grief. "She was there for me, through everything. She saved my life even after I broke her heart and betrayed her and she came back to me, after all that. It was never about my status or power for her. She loved me for me."

Sokka felt sick. He didn't want to listen to Zuko moan about how in love with his wife he still was but he knew he didn't have a right to ask him to stop. Zuko had listened to him whine about Suki after all, even though that was before the two men had admitted their feelings for each other. He reminded himself that, only hours ago he'd been resigned to the idea that Zuko only loved Mai. At least now he knew that there was a spot in that tortured heart for him too. He needed to be happy with that. _Zuko_ needed him to be happy with that.

"My advisors told me that I should have her executed, at the very least banished. I never asked for their opinion."

His voice was cracking with exhaustion. He suddenly reminded Sokka of that first night at the tea shop, tired... and broken.

"Executed?" Zuko didn't seem to hear him, carrying on as if Sokka hadn't even spoken.

"I couldn't do that to her. I can't punish her because I failed as a husband. She's only searching for something to make her happy because I... I can't."

"Zuko?" Sokka reached out now, brushing his fingertips against Zuko's jaw. He didn't understand what Mai could have possibly done to warrant her death but it seemed there was a lot in the other young man's life that he couldn't hope to understand. He was beginning to suspect that Zuko's outburst in the courtyard had been more than just a temper tantrum. The Fire Lord was suffering and Sokka was determined to ease it somehow. First he needed to know why.

"I was angry at first. I nearly destroyed an entire wing of my palace," he gestured towards the door so that Sokka knew he meant by fire. "I didn't understand how she could do that to me. How she could bring them into my home, my _bed_. But I couldn't give her what she wanted, what she needed. She says she still loves me, that she won't leave me, but she can't be faithful to me."

Sokka swallowed against the lump forming in his throat. He was beginning to think he might actually be sick. There was one question he needed to ask and he wasn't sure he was going to be able to handle the answer.

"If... if you still love each other, have you tried to work it out? Now that you know... that were you doing something wrong, couldn't you fix it? Why are you here and not with her?" His grip on Zuko's wrist tightened against the fear that Zuko would listen to him and decide in that instant that their tryst had been a fluke. Zuko just shook his head again, long black hair falling into his face and obscuring his eyes.

"I tried. I tried to make more time for her and she invited me back into our bed but there was nothing that could be done. I came here when I realized that it was too late. I wanted to save my marriage but there was nothing left to save. She's my best friend, my closest advisor, the queen of my country but," Sokka held his breath, "I'm not _in _love with her anymore and she fell out of love with me a long time ago."

The breath that Sokka had been holding rushed out of him in relief. It was unfair of him but he almost felt giddy at Zuko's admission. Perhaps that spot that he held in Zuko's heart was bigger than he thought.

Suddenly Zuko closed his fist, extinguishing the light and bathing the room in darkness. Sokka startled at the loss of his vision but then he felt Zuko moving next to him and he forced himself to relax. The thin wrist was pulled from his grasp as Zuko shifted to lie down beside him. He felt Zuko's moist lips on his shoulder then his collar bone and the heavy weight of Zuko's arm draped across his ribs.

"I don't want to do that to you. I don't want to drive you into the arms of someone else." Zuko's hot breath tickled his skin and a small gasp brushed past his lips. He was sure he could feel moisture where Zuko's closed eyes were pressed into his skin. He wrapped his arms around Zuko's shoulders and whispered into his hair.

"Then don't."

Zuko's fingers brushed lightly along his side, reminding him of the heat between his legs.

"How long can we stay like this?" A warm tongue was leaving a wet trail across Sokka's neck, just below the edge of his whalebone necklace.

"Forever?" Sokka asked hopefully, a small chuckle rumbling in his throat at the absurdity of the suggestion. He felt Zuko's sigh against his skin and subconsciously dug a knuckle into a tense spot in the other boy's shoulder. Zuko moved, brushing his lips against Sokka's strong jawline before pressing them firmly against his mouth. He probed against the warm flesh with his tongue almost asking for permission.

Sokka gave it to him, parting his lips and allowing Zuko's tongue to slip through them and brush against his own. His fingers dug into the pale shoulders that rose above him as Zuko shifted to straddle him, never breaking the kiss. Zuko wedged an arm between them and Sokka felt a hand, still warm from the flame, close around him.

He thrust upward, moaning into Zuko's mouth. Zuko moved his hand lightly and slowly, drawing out the sensation for darker boy. Sokka broke the kiss after what seemed like an enternity, turning his head to the side and gasping for air. He felt Zuko press a kiss to the sensitive skin just below his ear where it met his jawline.

Zuko kissed his way down, leaving a trail of warmth and moisture across Sokka's chest and stomach. Sokka inhaled sharply through his teeth when he felt Zuko's mouth against his hipbone, teeth just barely grazing the skin.

"Zuko." His hands were still clenching Zuko's shoulders, his nails digging tiny trenches in the pale flesh. He squirmed slightly when he felt Zuko's hot breath against his tip. "What, what are you... oh fuck."

Zuko's tongue shot out, tentatively licking the exposed skin above his hand. Encouraged by Sokka's reaction, he ran his tongue over the tip then took some of the length into his mouth. Sokka tried to stop himself from pushing his hips forward, biting his cheek against a particularly loud moan that wanted to escape. This wasn't a new sensation to him and he had to admit that Suki had possessed a lot more skill at this particular act than Zuko was exhibiting.

But that was just it, this was _Zuko, _Zuko's mouth on him, Zuko's tongue swirling around him, tasting him. There was something so much better about the entire thing just because of who was performing it, because it was someone that he loved so much there were times when he thought his heart would burst.

"Fuck, Zuko. I love you." He moaned as the pale boy's hand squeezed and moved along the base of his shaft, managing to show attention to the areas that his mouth couldn't reach. Zuko's mouth was impossibly hot and even without the intricate tricks that he was used to he knew he wasn't going to last long. He tried to warn the firebender, tugging on the muscled shoulders and moaning out the imminence of his orgasm, but Zuko only increased the fervor of his ministrations.

Sokka couldn't stop himself from thrusting forward as he came and he cringed at the sound of Zuko gagging but the waves of pleasure rolling through his body were too intense to be ignored and quickly absorbed his focus. He was sure he heard Zuko swallow before he felt the other boy crawl over him and capture his mouth, his own salty taste being transferred to his lips.

He let go of Zuko's shoulders and reached between their bodies, knowing it was his turn, but Zuko stayed his hand and rolled to his side, resting his face in the curve of Sokka's neck.

"I don't mind." He whispered, still panting. Zuko shook his head against Sokka's skin, laying his palm against the tan chest, just over Sokka's heart.

"It wasn't about that. I just... wanted to make you feel good."

Sokka chuckled, closing his hand over Zuko's. "Well congratulations. I feel amazing."

He waited for his heartbeat to slow to a normal pace before he spoke again.

"Zuko?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you tell me what the letter said?"

He felt Zuko's face turn against his shoulder, his words muffled by Sokka's skin.

"Sokka, I... it's..." Sokka braced himself for Zuko's answer. He couldn't imagine what it was since it was clear that the Fire Lord had been aware of his wife's infidelity for some time. Zuko's response never came though, the sound of footsteps from outside catching his attention mid-sentence.

He slipped his hand from under Sokka's and pushed himself into a sitting position, sliding off the bed and landing on his bare feet silently. Sokka sat up, trying to wrap the top sheet around his waist without making too much noise, a task that was proving impossible. Zuko turned to glare at him, not realizing right away that it was too dark for Sokka to see his face.

He hesitated at what was left of the door, trying to see outside without lighting a fire. He assumed the noise came from one of his guards and he felt irritation begin to eat away at his patience. They were supposed to stay on the outside of the premises, out of his sight and out of his hair. He was not happy to have been torn away from Sokka's warmth because someone didn't know how to do their job. He grimaced but stayed in the dark, years of running and fighting making suspicion and paranoia the easiest feelings to rely on.

In the end it was probably what saved him, that and Sokka's clumsiness. Sokka tried to slip off the bed as gracefully as Zuko had done, reaching for his sword at the same time, but the long top sheet made it impossible and he tumbled to the floor, landing hard. He hit the ground with his shoulder, swearing audibly at the pain. Zuko turned to look in his direction finally allowing a flame to spark in his palm so that he could see if Sokka was okay.

Zuko had barely moved when Sokka heard the whistling. It was almost a familiar sound and fitting considering who they'd been talking about only minutes before. He knew the blade was coming before he saw it. He heard it sailing through the air before he saw the glint of silver in the firelight and the grimace of shock and pain on Zuko's face. He lay there, on the floor, staring at the scene in front of him and unable to move. His mind was screaming for him to get up, grab his sword, and defend his fallen lover but his limbs wouldn't respond. It was as if he was drowning, fighting against a current that was insistent upon pulling him down.

"Zuko!" He yelled hoarsely as he watched the pale young man collapse, the weapon imbedded into his chest up to the hilt. He felt bile in the back of his throat as he watched blood begin to pour forth from the wound which, Sokka noted as horror began to constrict his stomach, was almost exactly at Zuko's heart. Surely a fatal blow...

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**Muahahaha.**


	7. The Darkest Place

**So I felt kinda bad for ending the last chapter the way I did (but not really, hehe) and I did something to my back over the weekend so I've basically been unable to do anything except drag myself to school and suffer for a few hours a day. I wrote this all this afternoon after taking a couple tylenol pm and then not actually going to sleep. That's my excuse if anything's messed up. So now you can all stop freaking out. Like I would actually kill off Zuko. Please. lol. Enjoy.**

**I don't own ATLA or anything related to it.**

**Oh and by the way, nobody go out and try this at home. I looked it up and it's not a safe way to handle a knife wound but it fit with my story so I decided to use it anyway. **

He couldn't hear anything but the pounding of his own heart as he lay there watching Zuko writhe on the ground. His mouth was moving but Sokka couldn't hear what he was saying, couldn't hear anything. Suddenly he was moving, pushing himself to a standing position and clutching the sheet around his hips. He felt his hand wrap around the cool metal blade of his boomerang before he realized that he'd crossed the room and within seconds he was bounding outside. There was no plan in his head but his body seemed to know what it was doing.

The cool night air shocked him as his feet hit the gravel path of the courtyard, bringing him back to his senses. He caught the barest glimpse of a shadow attempting to scale the furthest wall and automatically let the weapon fly in that direction, a rueful smirk twisting his lips as he heard the curved blade make contact. The shadow fell, crumpling into a heap on the ground.

He hesitated briefly, torn between making sure he detained the assassin and going back to Zuko. It wasn't something that he needed to think about though, as his feet were already carrying him back to the room in long strides, the sheet fluttering behind him as he ran. His heart was in his throat when he bolted through the hole and collapsed at the firebender's side, shouting for the guards that he knew were out there.

Zuko was on his back, his hips arched off the ground and his hand closed around the hilt of the blade. His face was set in a grimace but he wasn't making any noise aside from shallow panting.

"Zuko? Zuko!" Sokka knelt beside him and placed a palm against Zuko's unscarred cheek. One golden eye cracked open and regarded him with surprising calm. A tiny wave of relief washed over him but it wasn't enough to assuage his fears entirely. Zuko should have been moaning, squirming, something. He was terrified that the young man was already going into shock.

"Zuko, can you hear me? Say something." He peered closely at the eye that was open, the good one, checking the dilation of the pupil and the focus. He wasn't a healer but there were certain things he knew, the signs of death were high on that list. "Zuko... please. You have to stay with me."

"Sokka... get out of my face." It was meant to be a growl but Zuko couldn't get enough breath to create the right inflection. He coughed and his back arched further, his eye closing again as he scowled in pain. He tried to take a deep breath when he heard the guards pounding on the door, so that he could respond to them, but it was clear on his face that just the effort of breathing was excruciating.

"Tell them to get their asses in here, "he gasped, his grip on the blade tightening until his knuckles were nearly translucent with the pressure," and put on some fucking pants."

Sokka's eyes widened in surprise as he assessed himself, he had completely forgotten that he was still naked. He started to scramble to his feet when Zuko's eyes suddenly shot open and he gripped the back of Sokka's neck with his free hand, pulling the younger man back down and kissing him roughly. It was only a few seconds, Zuko couldn't breathe deeply enough to afford having his mouth blocked, but it was enough for the Water Tribesman to get the point.

He offered Zuko a weak smile and pushed himself to his feet, his head spinning. He made his way across the room in a daze and reached for his pants, frowning when he held them up. They were ripped but he couldn't quite remember why. The only thought that he could focus on was that Zuko had been attacked and he was laying on the floor, bleeding to death. Pants didn't seem important.

"Sokka!" It was supposed to be a yell but it was little more than a halfhearted whisper. Zuko wasn't afraid, he'd been through worse. He'd been burned, blown up, half frozen, and electrocuted. He could handle this. This was a scratch, an incredibly painful scratch, but a scratch. He would live. If there was one thing he was good at, it was disappointing people who wanted him dead.

Sokka didn't look at him but he seemed to get the message, snapping back to reality just long enough to properly cover himself and open the door, letting in a stream of frantic Fire Nation guards. Zuko tried to push himself into a sitting position as the first couple guards reached him but the pain in his chest was too much and he collapsed back to the floor, panting heavily.

The knife needed to come out. He would feel so much better if he could just get it out. He took the deepest breath that he could, wincing, and set his jaw as he began to pull. He didn't scream. The breath that would have been needed to make such a sound was stolen from him as the world around him was suddenly tinged with red and his body lit on fire.

"What are you doing? Zuko don't do that! Zuko!" He could hear Sokka yelling over the roaring in his ears but it was muffled and he didn't want to stop. He knew he wasn't supposed to pull it out, he _knew_ that, but knowledge meant nothing to him right now.

"Damn it! Zuko stop!" Sokka's voice seemed much clearer, closer. He opened one eye and looked around. Everything was hazy but he could see Sokka kneeling next to him, his tan face screwed up in concern and anger. Then suddenly Sokka's hands were on him, pulling his fingers off the hilt of the blade, one by one.

"Get away from me." He tried to fight against the younger man but he was losing strength, fast.

"Let go of the knife." Sokka snarled.

"No. I want it out." He tried to shift away from Sokka's grasp but he was getting dizzy and Sokka's grip felt like iron. A million curses and threats were forming on the tip of his tongue but then suddenly Sokka's hands were gone and he was alone again on the floor.

"Fuck you! Let me go! I'm trying to help him!" Zuko rolled his head to the side so that he could see what was going on.

"You guys are worthless, you know that! If you'd been doing your jobs this wouldn't have happened in the first place! Let me go!"

Sokka was struggling in the grip of two guards, his hands pinned behind his back as they attempted to drag him away. Zuko tried to focus. What were they doing? Did they think that Sokka had done this? When he saw one of the guards press a blade to Sokka's throat he struggled to sit up again, finally releasing his grip on the knife.

He hissed against the pain that putting pressure on his left arm caused and felt the warmth of flame on his lips. His entire body was burning with pain and anger.

"Let him go." It wasn't the roar that he'd wanted it to be but it was stern and audible.

"But sir, he..."

"Didn't do this."

"The guy who did _was_ knocked out outside but you've probably let him get away by now." Sokka stumbled when the guards released him, shooting them a hateful look as he returned to Zuko's side. He tried to coax Zuko into lying back down but he was weakly brushed off. He settled with helping him lean against the wall.

"Get me a piece of cloth." He spat at the nearest guard, impatiently.

"What kind?" The guard asked disdainfully, not appreciating being ordered around some tribesman.

"It doesn't matter!" Sokka hissed, glaring at the man. "Just get me something! Now!"

The guard returned his glare but motioned for another man to find something. The guard crossed the room briefly and returned with Sokka's tunic, looking over the rips in the cloth with curiosity before handing it over. Sokka snatched it from the man's outstretched hand and set to ripping it up.

Zuko groaned and tried to push him away when he pressed a piece of the cloth as firmly against the wound as he could around the knife. He didn't dare pull it out yet.

Now that he was closer to it he could see that he'd been rash in his earlier assessment. If Zuko hadn't turned away at the last second it would have been a direct hit and he would have died, but the angle of his body had caused the knife to miss his heart by centimeters. He noted darkly that it was only by sheer luck that it had missed piercing a lung as well.

It also hadn't gone in as deeply as he'd previously thought. Even before Zuko had tried to pull it out it had probably only sliced through maybe two thirds of the way. He was thankful that it was a small blade but the size wouldn't have made a difference if it had hit its mark. Whoever had done this obviously hadn't thought they would miss.

He held the rapidly dampening cloth to the wound with one hand and brushed the other across Zuko's brow, pushing sweat soaked bangs out of the firebender's eyes before sliding down to rest against a pale cheek.

"Stay with me, Zuko. I swear if you die on me now I will hunt you down in the Spirit World and kill you again."

Zuko's chest bounced with a painful chuckle and Sokka thought he saw the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Idiot." He whispered but he reached up covered the hand that was cupping his cheek with his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He didn't particularly care at this moment that there were guards still in the room. He needed Sokka by his side.

Sokka smiled at him and then turned back to the guards. "All but two of you need to go outside. Look for the fucker that did this, stand guard, something but get out of my way."

The guards hesitated but a stern glance from their Lord sent them on their way. The only men that remained were the one that Sokka was quickly deciding he didn't like and the one who'd brought him his tunic.

"Are either of you benders?" The first one nodded his head. "Good. There are coals in the bathing room. Get them and heat them up, as hot as you can and as quickly as you can."

The guard growled but did as he was told. Sokka looked at the remaining man.

"Get me something metal. Something I can heat up so I can..." He faltered and glanced at Zuko. The pale boy was staring at him calmly. He merely nodded, aware of what Sokka was going to have to do. The cloth that was pressed against his wound was now soaked through. He understood that it wasn't going to be enough. The bleeding had to be stopped, by whatever means possible.

"I'm gonna pull the knife out now, okay Zuko?" He spoke quietly to the older boy. "Please try not to burn me." In any other situation it would have been a joke but now he was serious. He had seen the flames lick out of Zuko's mouth when he sat up. Sokka reached behind himself and grabbed another piece of his tunic, wadding it up and handing it to the firebender.

Zuko looked at the cloth for a second and closed his eyes, mentally bracing himself. He sighed and took the ball of cloth from Sokka's hand and stuffed it into his own mouth, preemptively clenching his teeth. Sokka ducked in to place a feather-light kiss on Zuko's forehead before dropping the sodden cloth into his lap and slowly beginning to pull the knife out of Zuko's skin.

Zuko rocked back violently and threw his arms up, his hands latching tightly onto Sokka's shoulders. His grip hurt and Sokka thought he could feel his skin burning under Zuko's heated palms but he forced himself to focus. He didn't want to cause any further bleeding.

"It's okay, Zuko, it's okay. Just a little bit more." Finally the tip of the blade pulled free and Zuko collapsed against the wall. Sokka hurried to grab the rest of his tunic and try and stop the renewed blood flow.

Zuko's breathing slowed and he cracked open his eyes, watching Sokka from under heavy lids. He didn't spit out the gag, knowing he would need it more for what was coming next. He gave Sokka another, almost imperceptible nod, and closed his eyes again, leaning his head back against the wall.

"I need those coals. Now!" The guard appeared beside him holding the basket of coals in his hands. They were glowing red but Sokka wasn't sure if this was going to work quickly enough. "And the metal?"

The other guard knelt down and handed Sokka his own sword. He frowned but took it. It was a little big but it would have to work. He shoved the tip into the coals and commanded the guard to begin shooting flames into the basket, hoping to heat the blade as quickly as possible. He kept his hand pressed firmly against the wound and ignored the stinging in his shoulders where Zuko had been holding him.

When he could see the blade glowing red he grit his teeth and looked back at his lover.

"Zuko? Are you ready?" Zuko set his jaw and clenched his fists at his sides. It was necessary, he knew, but he was already so familiar with being burned he couldn't help but let a little fear show through in his grimace. Sokka kept his eyes trained on the shaking Fire Lord before him.

"Hold him down." He commanded them to move with a clear voice but his gut churned with the knowledge of what he was about to do.

He waited until the guards were in position and then pulled the sword from the coals. Taking a deep breath he leaned forward and pressed the red hot blade against the wound. He cringed at the broken scream that ripped from Zuko's throat at the contact, the sound muffled by the cloth in his mouth. His back arched violently and flames jumped from his fists. The guard holding Zuko's arms prevented him from lashing out at Sokka and the guard holding his legs kept him from kicking the tanned boy away but Sokka could still feel the pain that Zuko wanted to inflict on him.

He knew that Zuko wasn't actually thinking, just reacting to the pain he was in, but Sokka felt it nonetheless. It wasn't exactly an easy task to torture the man he loved. It seemed like an eternity to both young men before Sokka finally pulled the blade away to reveal the mottled, singed flesh of Zuko's chest. He felt sick looking at the damage he had done but the bleeding had stopped and that was more important.

"I need clean bandages." Sokka croaked, exhaustion clouding his voice. Zuko had relaxed and was leaning against the wall, his bones barely keeping him erect. His head hung forward, chin against his chest, the gag in his lap. He took slow, shallow breaths that shook his shoulders and rattled in his lungs. The guards nodded and stood, releasing their grips on their lord.

The two boys sat in silence as they waited for the bandages, the only sound the echo of their respective breathing. Sokka looked up as the guard he didn't like reentered the room, a pile of what looked to be cheese cloth in his arms, a jar of some sort of salve resting on top. Sokka didn't ask where the man had gotten these provisions, only took them from him gratefully and motioned for him to leave. Thankfully the man didn't protest against him this time, wordlessly turning on his heel and walking away.

He leaned forward, placing a gentle hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Hey."

Zuko raised his head, opening his eyes slowly. He took in the cloth in Sokka's lap and sighed. He leaned forward as much as he could with Sokka's help and laid his head on the tribesman's shoulder, pressing his cheek against the slightly burned skin. Sokka winced slightly at the contact but didn't move him. He dipped two fingers into the jar of salve and applied it as gently as he could to the wound on Zuko's chest, pressing a kiss to the top of the older boy's head when he moaned in pain.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. He unfolded the cloth from his lap and used his sword to awkwardly cut it into strips, trying not to jostle Zuko as he moved.

"S'not your fault."

His fingertips brushed lightly against Zuko's skin as he wrapped the cloth around his chest and over his shoulder. He listened for noises outside that would indicate that the guards had found the, would be, assassin but he didn't hear anything. He knew that this wasn't the first time an attempt had been made on Zuko's life. Most of the world respected him and knew that he stood for peace but Sokka was aware that there were people who would never see past his nationality and his family and the things that they had done.

He pressed his face firmly into Zuko's hair, breathing in his scent, trying to calm himself down. He wouldn't do Zuko any good by getting upset. He tied the ends of the last strip of cloth into a knot and leaned back, quietly surveying his work. He could see the faint tint of blood and water beginning to seep through the bottom most layer but it wasn't too bad. They would do for now. They could get a real healer in the morning and he made up his mind that he would send for Katara right away.

"Do you think you can stand?" He whispered into the silky black strands of hair that were tickling his face.

"Yea."

Sokka shifted to his knees and began to lift himself up, putting an arm around Zuko's ribs and helping him to his feet. They shuffled awkwardly to the bed and Sokka gingerly helped him onto the mattress, arranging the pillows behind his shoulders and head. When he didn't immediately slide in beside him, Zuko quirked his brow and held out his right hand.

"You're injured. You should have the bed to yourself. You'll be more comfortable."

Zuko's brow furrowed and his lips twitched with impatience.

"Come here." Sokka hesitated, his gust still twisted over what he'd just had to do. Zuko glared at him and beckoned with his hand. "_Now."_

The Water Tribesman sighed and lay down, leaving a few inches between their bodies. Zuko growled and hooked his good arm around Sokka's waist, pulling him closer with as much effort as he could exert. He winced slightly with the movement but didn't let the younger man go.

"You saved my life, Sokka. You shouldn't feel bad about what you had to do." He whispered, stroking Sokka's side with his fingertips. He tried his best to smile and turned his head so he was staring into wide blue eyes. "I can handle being burned."

Sokka looked at Zuko's scar and then down. He knew Zuko was trying to lighten the mood, but he didn't laugh.

"That isn't funny."

Zuko only sighed and pulled him closer, catching his mouth in a simple, sweet kiss.


	8. The Proposition

**This is how much I love you all. I have midterms all week but am I studying? No I'm writing fanfiction. sigh. **

He could have spent the entire day in bed with his legs twined around Zuko's and his face buried in the curve of a pale shoulder, breathing in the scent of ash and sandalwood that always seemed to linger on the firebender's skin. For once, he'd woken long before Zuko stirred and he'd been extra careful to not even breathe too deeply for fear of ruining the moment. He'd been happy and warm, the darker events of the night barely a shadow in the back of his mind.

The urge to run his hands over Zuko's body, to wake him up and relive some of the more pleasant parts of the previous few hours had been strong. He'd even brushed his fingertips down the firebender's side just enough to get an unconscious moan out of the young man but he hadn't pushed it. He was happy just to lie there in Zuko's arms, hoping the rest of the day would never come.

But the day had come and he wasn't lying in bed anymore. He was pacing the floor in front of the bed, hands fisted at his sides, his face screwed up in frustration.

"You're being an idiot."

"That doesn't mean much coming from you."

He growled and stopped his pacing, turning on a heel so that he was facing the bed ridden Fire Lord. Zuko looked amused, watching Sokka fume with half lidded eyes and his lips turned up in a small smirk.

"Insulting me isn't gonna make me back down, Zuko."

"Then what will?"

Sokka set his jaw and ground his teeth in response. Zuko had the bed linens pulled up under his arms but the tip of his wound and the bandaging covering his shoulder were still visible. His arms were folded over his stomach, a stark contrast between his pale skin and the deep burgundy of the cloth, and his upper body was propped up against a mountain of pillows. Sokka mused in frustration that anyone else would look lost among so much bedding but Zuko still managed to stand out and overpower it.

"Don't be stubborn. Let Katara heal you."

"Sokka, no." Zuko sighed when Sokka opened his mouth to yell at him again. "I cannot be seen running to the Avatar every time anything goes wrong. People will perceive it as weakness."

"That doesn't even make sense! You're weaker without her help and Katara isn't the Avatar."

"She's the Avatar's girlfriend. The public isn't going to make the distinction, I can assure you."

"Ugh." Sokka rubbed his face roughly with the palms of his hands, aware that he was getting nowhere but unwilling to give up.

"Let it go, Sokka. By the time she would get here there would be nothing she could do and you know it. It would just draw attention to the situation and I would prefer not to do that."

"Why? It's a big deal, Zuko. A _really _big deal."

"Not if we don't make it one." He appraised Sokka's sour glare and struggled against a smile that he knew would only upset the other boy further. "Sokka stop. I'm _fine_. The physician said so. You're being overdramatic."

"You're not being dramatic enough! Someone tried to _kill_ you!"

"I _know_ that!" Exasperation was beginning to show in Zuko's face. "But they _didn't _kill me. I'm alive and I'm going to be fine and I have you to thank for that. But now I need you to believe that I know what I'm doing. I need you to trust me. Until we find out who's behind this I do not want it becoming public news."

Sokka scowled, not quite swayed. "Are you going to tell _anybody_?"

"Uncle."

"What about Mai?"

"No." His voice was low and harsh, his features suddenly hard. Sokka waited for him to elaborate but Zuko just laid his head back on the pillows and closed his eyes. He meant to stay silent, to let the subject drop but his mouth did not seem to be interested in listening to his brain at the moment.

"Why not? She's your wife." Zuko cracked one eye and glared at him.

"She doesn't need to know."

"Why not?"

"I don't want her here."

"Why n... " Zuko cut him off, before he could even try to voice his thoughts.

"Sokka, please. I don't want to discuss this anymore." He brought his hand up to rub tiredly at his forehead, as if attempting to massage away a growing headache.

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your advisors." Sokka was being petulant and he knew it but he couldn't help feeling like Zuko was just tolerating his presence, like a child.

Zuko's brow dipped down his forehead and wrinkled the skin just above his nose. The look he was sending Sokka was fierce with impatience which only angered the young man more.

"If I were speaking with you as one of my advisors I would have had you removed from the room by now." His voice was low and even.

"Well at least if I were one of your advisors you'd probably listen to me."

"I _am_ listening to you! I _always_ listen to you but that doesn't mean I'm going to do what you want." When Sokka's face didn't change he sighed, suddenly exhausted. "I agreed to move didn't I? That was your idea."

"Yea well you'd be a huge idiot if you didn't listen to me about that." Sokka cut his eyes to the half packed bags at his feet. He'd been working on getting them both ready to leave when their argument had begun. "I told you to leave Ba Sing Se though, not hide out in your uncle's apartment."

"And where _would_ you have me hide out? An igloo in the South Pole?"

"It would be safer than staying here! No one in the South Pole wants you dead!"

"I am not going to run away from this. I'm not a coward."

"You should at least go back to the Fire Nation. No one would see that as running away, Zuko."

"That would make it incredibly difficult for me to keep Mai out of this."

"You shouldn't be keeping her out of this. You should tell her and you should go home."

Zuko's eyes widened in shock.

"Is that what _you_ want?"

Sokka was caught off guard by the accusation in Zuko's voice. He didn't want Zuko to go back but he also didn't want to constantly worry that whoever attacked him would come back to finish the job. At least if Zuko were home, in his own palace, with a full retinue of guards there'd be no chance of that. He refused to think about what that meant for him because every time he did the vice around his heart constricted just a little bit more.

"What I want is for you to be safe and alive."

"And what are you going to do? Go home? Is this it then?" Zuko's voice was quiet but the pain in it was obvious. He tried to take a deep breath when he finished speaking but the effort caused his chest to strain and his wound to begin throbbing. He gasped and fisted his hand in the bedding.

"Zuko." Sokka started forward but Zuko waved him off. He turned his head to the side and closed his eyes, not wanting Sokka to see the pain in his face. He knew it would only give the tribesman more ammo against him. It would almost be easier, he thought, if Sokka did say it was over and that he was leaving. It was horrible timing but it was probably better sooner than later.

"Zuko. What do _you_ want me to do?"

"Don't ask me that."

Sokka edged closer, his frustration quickly draining away. He'd purposely avoided thinking about what he was going to do but it seemed Zuko wasn't going to allow him to put it off any longer. He ran a hand through his still loose hair and groaned.

"Will you stop being so stubborn? I don't _want_ you to go. I don't want this to be over but it is. Last night kind of fucked everything up."

"So we're over?"

"Yes. No. I mean... no. Fuck, Zuko. I need you to help me out here. I told you I wouldn't leave you and I want to stick by that but you need to tell that you want that too."

He fidgeted and stared at his boots for a few seconds, waiting for Zuko to respond. He knew he could hang around if Zuko continued to insist on staying in the city but he wasn't sure he could follow him to the Fire Nation. He didn't think there was a place for him there. He was about to go back to packing when Zuko finally spoke.

"What happens when I do go back?"

Sokka looked up sharply and studied Zuko's expression before he responded. Zuko's face was schooled and stoic but his voice had wavered with vulnerability and Sokka thought, hope.

"I don't know." He thought he noticed Zuko's face fall just slightly. "Tell me what _you_ want. Please."

Zuko hesitated and then pat the bed, motioning for Sokka to sit down. The tribesman didn't move at first, not quite willing to give up his ground but he really, really wanted to be on that bed, lying next to that warm body. The warmth in the pit of his belly, that had never quite disappeared since the day he'd started staying with Zuko, began to overheat as he thought about Zuko's pale, strong arms around him and in the end his groin won out against his head and he sank down onto the bed. He sat next to Zuko's legs, in control of himself enough to not completely embarrass himself.

"When we get to Uncle's, I'm going to dismiss the guards." Sokka had been waiting for Zuko to tell him to go home, or go with him or something that had to do with what they'd actually been talking about. His jaw dropped as he processed Zuko's words.

"Why would you do _that_? Do you have a death wish? Do you have a fever? Let me feel your forehead!" He lunged towards the firebender who tried to roll out of the way but the blanket caught him up and he ended up pinned, awkwardly, under Sokka's weight.

"Augh, get off of me! I do not have a fever!" He struggled underneath the tribesman, trying to be careful of his left side, and froze when he felt his body begin to respond. This was really not the time. He stared up at Sokka and felt his heart flutter when he saw the desire darkening the tribesman's face. "Sokka."

When Sokka spoke his voice was husky with lust but he managed to stay on topic. Zuko wasn't sure whether to be grateful or disappointed.

"I am not going to let you do something so stupid. Are you trying to commit suicide?"

"No." He hissed, resisting the urge to push his hips forward. "But I think one or more of them may have had something to do with the... assassination attempt."

Sokka wanted to argue with him, tell him again how stupid he was being, but he could actually see the sense in Zuko's statement.

"Who's going to protect you?"

"I don't need protection." Zuko snarled bucking his hips and relishing Sokka's sharp intake of breath.

Sokka recovered quickly and planted his knees other either side of Zuko's hips so that he was straddling the other boy's lap through the bedding.

"If you didn't need protection, I wouldn't have to treat you like you were made of glass right now."

"You don't." Zuko smirked and grabbed the back of Sokka's head with his right hand, pulling him down and capturing his mouth with angry passion. He sucked Sokka's bottom lip between his teeth, biting lightly but enough to remind the tribesman of his own pain.

Sokka hissed and pulled back. "You're the fucking Fire Lord. You can't go traipsing around the world dressed in the colors of other nations and expect people to just ignore who you are."

"I'm not expecting that! I'm not expecting anything!"

"Then go home!"

"No! I'm not ready!" Zuko growled and latched his teeth onto the side of Sokka's neck, hoping to make the tribesman forget the argument. He bit down hard and swirled his tongue against the sweet and slightly salty skin.

"Zuko." The firebender released his grip when he heard Sokka moan his name and kissed the angry red mark that his teeth had left.

"I don't want to argue anymore. Please."

"Tell me what your plan is. Tell me what you want."

Zuko let his tongue trail along the curve of Sokka's throat, nipping lightly at the sensitive skin along his jaw.

"I want you." He breathed against the tan skin, sending a shiver down the tribesman's spine. "I want you to stay with me. I have a proposition for you."

"Oh?" Sokka smirked and angled his head so that he was looking into Zuko's eyes, he ground his hips down and laughed hoarsely at the way Zuko arched his back and moaned.

"Not... not that kind of proposition." He gasped as Sokka moved again, his mind fogging over with desire. "Come with me... when I go back. Stay with me."

"Zuko, I don't know. What would I do? I can't just sit around the palace waiting for you to get horny."

"Be my bodyguard."

Sokka sat up suddenly, taken aback by the idea. His arms nearly gave out when his erection rubbed Zuko's through the blankets sending a shock through his body.

"I... I don't. I'm not..."

"You're the only reason I'm still alive. You stopped the assassin and you saved my life."

"He got away and you still got hurt. I couldn't stop it before it happened. Why would you put your life in my hands?"

Zuko smiled and allowed his arm to stroke up and down Sokka's bare back. He'd grown accustomed, in the last month, to seeing the tribesman half naked more often than fully clothed. He'd be unhappy to see that change.

"You would really ask me that question after everything we've been through together? I put my life in your hands before I was completely sure that you trusted me. There's no one I trust more to have my back."

"That's stupid."

"It gives you a reason to stay with me. You won't have to feel useless, you can travel. We can be together."

Sokka's chest swelled at the hope that he could hear in Zuko's voice. He didn't know what to say. Despite how much he wanted to say yes, he knew he needed to think about it and as Zuko pushed his erection forward, grinding it against his own he lost all ability to think about anything. He hunched forward as the small tremors of pleasure passed through his body, his breath coming in pants.

"Zuko." It barely came out as a whisper before he was pressing his mouth to Zuko's, forcing his tongue into the other young man's mouth roughly and swiping it across Zuko's teeth. He barely managed not to press his chest against Zuko's wound as he leaned forward, diving as deeply into the kiss as he could before smiling against Zuko's mouth. Zuko opened his eyes halfway, regarding the tribesman quizzically.

Sokka kissed him again and then made his way down Zuko's body, pulling the blankets away with him as he went.

"What are you doing?" Zuko asked even though he had a good idea of what was coming. It was daylight, and the door was still burned open, and he was convinced that part of his guard was trying to kill him but at that moment he couldn't have cared less. He meant it when he told Sokka that he trusted him with his life.

Sokka crawled over Zuko's legs, kneeling at his hips and pulling the sheets away so that he could undo his belt. Zuko gasped as Sokka pulled the silk away from his straining erection, letting the cool air wash over his skin.

"Sokka."

He spat into his hand and wrapped it around the base of Zuko's shaft, squeezing lightly before slowly dragging it upwards, almost torturing the pale man beneath him. Zuko lifted his hips and tried to move himself in Sokka's grasp but the tribesman didn't budge, enjoying himself. With the other hand he pulled at the ties to his own pants, hissing in relief as he freed himself.

He gripped his own erection and began to pump, faster than he was doing to Zuko, and began to lower himself down so that he could lick Zuko's tip but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"No. I want to look at you."

"So look at me. You can see me from there."

"Ngh, funny." Zuko moaned as Sokka tightened his grip and moved his hand a little faster. "Come up here."

"I want to do this, Zuko." And then he wasn't talking anymore because his mouth was surrounding Zuko's flesh and his tongue was swirling around the tip, licking up the pre cum.

Zuko moaned, loudly, and bucked forward catching Sokka off guard and making him gag. He pulled back for a second and then pushed through it, reminding himself of what Zuko had done for him and what he owed. He couldn't push Zuko's request completely out of his mind but he was trying valiantly, focusing on his lover's taste and reactions to his ministrations in order to keep himself distracted.

He squeezed a little tighter with his hand and rubbed his own erection against Zuko's thigh, humming with the pleasure that the friction gave him. Zuko reached out and fisted his hand in Sokka's hair, yanking roughly and bucking his hips wildly with pleasure at the vibrations.

"Fuck, Sokka. You're so good." Sokka kept humming and ran his tongue across the tip of Zuko's erection one more time, pushing his mouth as far down the shaft as he could. He could hear the firebender panting above him, mumbling something that he couldn't understand. He knew Zuko was about to come and he braced himself. He wasn't ready when Zuko suddenly thrust forward but he forced himself to swallow as the hot liquid spilled into his mouth and down his throat.

It wasn't unpleasant he mused as he sat up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Zuko was prone before him, panting heavily, eyes closed. He stroked Zuko a few more times until he went completely limp, enjoying the tremors passing through the firebender's body.

Zuko opened his eyes slowly and gazed at the tribesman. He'd let his hand fall out of Sokka's hair when the other boy had sat up and it was resting on the bed just centimeters away from his leg.

"Come here." He managed hoarsely, smiling as Sokka complied without a word. He lay down on Zuko's good side, nestling his head into Zuko's shoulder. He wasn't expecting Zuko's hand to wrap around him or to begin pumping so swiftly and any protests on his tongue were immediately lost as his body began to overflow with warmth. Zuko squeezed as he pumped, rotating his wrist in a way that had Sokka squirming within minutes. He bit into Zuko's skin, struggling against the moans that wanted to escape his throat.

"Don't hold back. I want to hear you."

Sokka let go and moaned loudly, thrusting into Zuko's hand, grasping at his side with fingers still wet with cum.

"Fuck." He threw his head back and lifted his hips off the bed as he came, releasing onto the blankets and Zuko's hip. They laid like that for a while until Zuko's breathing evened out and Sokka knew he was sleeping. Then he carefully pulled himself from the young man's embrace and slipped off the bed, pulling his pants back up and retying his belt. He pulled the blankets back over his lover and sat down on the chaise, his head in his hands as he watched Zuko sleep.

He wanted to be enough to protect the Fire Lord. He wanted to stay with him forever. But he wasn't sure that he could and the weight of his coming decision was threatening to break him.


	9. The Next Stage

**I can't decide who should top! Full on penetration isn't for another few chapters but I've had nine to try and decide already and I just can't. Sokka's gonna have some major psychological motivation driving him to go that far with Zuko and I can write it either way and still keep him in character. Help! Who would you guys prefer? I know there's some rule about interactive stuff and I'm not trying to do that here... I just honestly can't decide. **

Zuko was still sleeping when Sokka stuffed the last of his belongings into his bag. He'd been shocked at first, to find the canvas sack bulging in protest before he'd packed even half of his things. When had he gotten all of this stuff? And so much of it was green. When had he subconsciously decided to start blending in? As he had fondled the fine silk tunics and robes he'd had to at least admire his own taste. If he'd had to go green at least he'd done it in style. No one was going to be calling him a peasant in these clothes.

It wasn't enough to make him feel better though. He knew it was a waste of energy but he couldn't help wishing that the previous night's events hadn't happened. Iroh's words floated through his head, not worrying about the past and things he couldn't change, but he was mad and frustrated and, most of all, disappointed. Things had been going so well and he'd finally started feeling happy again, more than happy, and then Bam! It was all over.

It had been stupid of him to let himself get caught up in a false reality and now he felt like the world was dropping out from under him, all over again. The gods were against him, he was sure of it.

_Oh Sokka, you're happy? You're in love again? You feel like you might actually have a purpose in this world? Hahaha. Well, we can't have that!_

But he had to admit, it was his own damn fault that he'd fallen for the Fire Lord. Had he really expected that to work out? What was it that, that crazy Aunt Wu had told him? Something about self inflicted anguish basically dominating his future. Not that he believed in that kind of stuff now anymore than he did then but...

He had to face it, Zuko getting attacked was just the world's way of giving him a much needed wake up call. As he cinched his bag closed and dropped it by the door next to Zuko's, which he'd already packed with a little more patience than he'd managed with his own stuff, he heard Zuko stirring in the bed and he sighed. He'd had a few hours to think and he hadn't come up with anything. He had no idea what he was going to do about his relationship with the firebender or what he was going to do about Zuko's proposition.

When he saw Zuko's eyes start to flutter open he plastered a false grin on his face and sat down on the bed, ready to welcome him back to the world of the living.

"Hey, hey there buddy. How ya feelin?"

Zuko groaned in discomfort as his eyes adjusted to the light and he became aware of himself. "Ngh... chest hurts."

"Well you did have a knife sticking out of it last night so I'm not surprised." He managed a chuckle, actually quite pleased with himself despite the gravity of the statement.

"Idiot."

"Do I have to worry about that becoming a permanent pet name?"

"Yes."

"Okay, okay. I think your fancy physician left something around here for the pain but you know, I can think of something that would help a lot more."

The firebender narrowed his eyes, unsure exactly where Sokka was going with this. There were two things that he could foresee coming out of the younger boy's mouth and considering what they'd done not that much earlier he chose to assume that Katara was going to come up again.

"Don't make me hurt you."

Sokka shrugged, holding his palms out in defeat. "Hey, I'm just saying... You're in pain and she could help you."

"Sokka..." Zuko growled, indicating his thinning patience.

"Fine. I'll drop it." He exaggeratedly mimed letting go of a heavy object, eliciting a small twitch of a smile at the corner of Zuko's lips. "See? dropped."

Zuko used his right arm to push himself into a seated position as Sokka retrieved the bottle of medicine that the physician had left when he'd checked Zuko over that morning. He wouldn't drink much, didn't like the fog that came over his brain or how easily the medicine, mixed with immense sexual gratification, had lulled him to sleep. He felt a twitch between his legs as he remembered the feeling of Sokka's mouth around him but the burning ache in his chest made him unwilling to do anything about it. He hated the vulnerable position that the medicine put him in but the pain was worse.

He tried to remember what he'd done when he was thirteen. How long he'd lain in the infirmary before he'd been forced out into the world with the impossible task of finding and retrieving the Avatar. It hadn't been long, a few days maybe. Not nearly long enough but he'd gone willingly then, he'd had a mission and he guessed that had made it easier to ignore the pain. He didn't have that now and the angry throbbing that was traveling all the way down his arm with every beat of his heart was almost too much.

"Sokka." He grit his teeth against a sudden lance of pain that shot across his upper body when he accidentally moved his left arm a certain way.

"Yea, yea hold your ostrich horses, I got it." He shuffled back across the room and sat back down on the bed, leaning against the wall, shoulder to shoulder with Zuko. He hadn't put a shirt on yet and his stomach jumped at the sudden contact of bare skin. He resisted the urge to groan out his frustration. How was he supposed to give this up when he couldn't even _sit next_ to the firebender without some sort of reaction?

This was so much worse than with Suki and even worse, he mused, than with Yue. He loved Zuko, he really did and he couldn't pretend that he didn't, not with the way that just _looking _at the other boy made his stomach flutter and his heart swell and his head just stop. Zuko made him stupid in a way no girl ever had and that was a huge problem. How was he supposed to protect someone that he couldn't even _think_ around?

It was like the North Pole all over again but with the Water Tribe princess switched out for the Fire Lord and no real threat of a giant Avatar state fish monster. He hadn't been able to protect Yue then and Suki'd protected _him_ throughout that relationship. He did not feel very qualified for the job.

He struggled with uncorking the bottle as he thought, growling in frustration when the cork wouldn't just slide out. This was just perfect. How was he supposed to defend the Fire Lord against his enemeies when he couldn't even open a damn bottle of medicine?

"Stupid... grr...ngh... come on..." Finally he resorted to using his teeth, biting down firmly on the pliable cork and yanking with a twist of his head. It came loose with a resounding pop and just a tiny splash. He was okay with that. Water Tribe: one, bottle of medicine: zero. At least he could do _some things _right. Smiling smugly over his defeat of the inanimate object, he handed the bottle to Zuko, letting his fingers linger on the glass just long enough to brush against Zuko's paler ones.

A jolt of something like electricity surged through him at the touch and he smiled, forlornly.

"Are you okay?" Zuko noticed the look and frowned as he brought the bottle to his lips. The frown remained as he forced himself to swallow a mouthful of the foul tasting liquid. Realizing the face he was making, Sokka tried to give his lover a genuine smile but it was obvious the firebender could see right through him. Zuko narrowed his eyes and handed the bottle back, waiting patiently for an answer.

"I'm fine." Ochre eyes narrowed further until Sokka could barely see any glint of gold among the scarred tissue on the left side of his face. "I swear. I was just thinking about things."

"Like what?" Zuko's voice was soft and hesitant.

"Us." Sokka admitted, looking down and fiddling with the bottle in his hands.

"About what I said earlier?" Sokka just nodded. "You never gave me an answer."

Sokka cleared his throat nervously before he answered. He didn't want to upset Zuko and he definitely didn't want the firebender to think he was being rejected, he couldn't imagine what that would do to the young man, but he couldn't say yes even though it was on the tip of his tongue.

"I know... and I can't yet. I just... I don't know." It was the truth. He saw Zuko's face fall out of the corner of his eye and rushed to keep talking, afraid of what the other boy was going to say. "I'm going to stay with you, for now. But when you go back... I just don't know. I still don't think you should dismiss your guards, either."

"Sokka..."

"No, just listen. I know it's a cliche but it's true. You need to keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Plus who knows what they'll do if you dismiss them and they _are_ part of the plan to kill you. They might catch on and run or... realize they're caught and get desperate and try again. I know you think I can protect you, Zuko but I don't want that weight on my shoulders... not right now."

Zuko didn't say anything for a while and Sokka was sure that he was mad. He knew he'd hurt him by not agreeing to go back to the Fire Nation with him and then he'd picked back up on a supposedly dead argument. He was more than a little surprised then, when Zuko agreed with him.

"You're right."

"I am? I mean, yea, I am. That's why I'm the plan guy."

Zuko sighed heavily, a small, involuntary jerk rocking Sokka's shoulder when Zuko's wound throbbed at the movement.

"It was selfish of me to put you in that position. I was distracted by the medicine and by my feelings for you and I allowed myself to be unrealistic. I wasn't being fair to you. I'm sorry. I won't ask you again."

His voice was rigid and formal. He was speaking to Sokka as the Fire Lord and the young warrior felt his heart constrict at the tone.

"Zuko, that's not what I meant."

"Not entirely. But I understand and you _are_ right. I won't dismiss the guards. They would know where I was anyway." He'd come back to himself somewhat and despite how he tried to mask it, Sokka could hear the sadness in his voice. His next question was almost childlike in its sad hope and made Sokka feel even more like dirt, if that was possible. "You'll stay with me... until this is over?"

"Zuko... of course. I don't know what I'm going to do when you go back. That's the truth. It's not a no... it's just not a yes either."

That seemed to be enough for the pale young man and he nodded, taking Sokka's hand and squeezing it. "We should go. Explaining this to Uncle isn't going to be simple or calm and I'd like to do it before this medicine puts me to sleep again."

"Right." He started to ease himself off the bed then hesitated, ducking forward swiftly and pressing his lips to Zuko's. He needed the reassurance as much as Zuko did and the warmth that passed through his body when Zuko responded with even more fervor, was the only thing that could ease the tension knotted up in his heart.

They broke apart a long moment later, gasping for breath and significantly more at ease. It was with reluctance that Sokka finally pulled himself away and slid off the bed. Who knew when they'd get a chance to do that again. He set the bottle down and leaned over the bed, offering Zuko an arm for leverage. He'd laid out clothes for them both, nondescript Earth Kingdom tunics and pants. They would blend in with the crowds of the Upper Ring, just two friends out for some tea. He pulled on his own dark olive long-sleeved tunic first, draping another longer, lighter one over it, before turning to help Zuko.

If he let his fingers linger on Zuko's skin as he helped him slip out of the pants he'd been wearing and if he _accidentally_ brushed the back of his hand along an already semi erect appendage as he pulled the new ones over Zuko's pale hips, well, it couldn't be helped. If his breath brushed hotly against an unblemished ear as he draped a moss colored tunic across Zuko's shoulders and his fingertips _accidentally_ slipped underneath the cloth to trail across a quivering abdomen when he was supposed to be tying a golden sash, then who could blame him?

He was almost painfully hard by the time he finished securing Zuko's left arm in a sling with an extra piece of golden cloth. He couldn't help but notice how the color reflected the firebender's eyes of molten ore. He couldn't resist the urge to brush his lips against Zuko's before he stepped away. And he couldn't say he was unhappy about it when a hand snaked around his neck and pulled him back in for a _real_ kiss, even if that was all they could do.

When they finally broke apart, Sokka rested his forehead against Zuko's and smiled.

"I don't know if I can face your uncle like this." He said, pressing the bulge in his pants against the other boy's hip. Zuko chuckled softly and ran his hand through Sokka's hair, cupping the back of his head and holding it as he back away. He didn't let it fall until his arm was fully extended, as if he were afraid to break contact.

He smirked at the brunette and turned away, heading for the door. Sokka picked up the bags, only stumbling a little under their combined weight and followed him.

***********

By the time they reached the Jasmine Dragon he was all but dragging the bags behind him, his arms numb from the effort. Now he had a completely new reason to curse whoever had tried to kill Zuko and the snotty Fire Nation guards he'd just had to insist Zuko keep around, who had made no effort to help him at any point. He dropped the bags noisily and collapsed in the first empty chair he came to, ignoring the irritated looks that the other patrons in the shop were sending him. Zuko cringed but didn't say anything, instead taking the seat across from him and looking down so that his loose hair obscured his face.

He saw one of the girls notice him, and watched as her face briefly lit up and then darkened when she noticed Zuko. The Fire Lord had never managed to polish his manners in the presence of his uncle's employees. He claimed that he found them vapid and irritating but now that Sokka knew how Zuko felt about him, he had a hunch that there was more to it than that.

Before the girl had even made it to their table, Sokka was gasping for water, playing up his condition to get a giggle out of the girl and a scowl out of the boy. He may have been in a relationship, if that's even what it was, but he still appreciated the attention. It helped to know that he could make Zuko jealous too. His mood dampened when Iroh approached the table a few minutes later, the joy on the old man's face lost when he saw his nephew's arm resting in the sling.

"Nephew! What have you done to yourself? An accident during sword practice?"

Zuko shifted uncomfortably before answering, unsure how best to inform his uncle that there'd been another attempt on his life. It wasn't that the old general could be too shocked. He had been very vocal in warning Zuko of the dangers that would face him as Fire Lord but every time Zuko had tried to imagine telling him, he'd seen the look on his uncle's face after the first time, the _very_ first time, when Zhao had tried to have him killed.

_Ever since I lost my son..._

_I think of you as my own..._

"Not exactly Uncle. There was an incident last night..."

Iroh frowned and sat down, waiting patiently for Zuko to continue. The two boys took turns explaining the situation to the older man, adding their own perspectives to the story. Sokka hedged a bit when it came time for him to explain how he'd cauterized the knife wound, remembering the look of pain on the paler boy's face when he'd pressed the hot steel to his flesh.

Iroh kept his face stoic as he listened, betraying no emotion. Sokka thought he saw the man nod when Zuko told him that he'd decided to keep the guards on despite his suspicions and he felt a small surge of pride.

"So we were wondering if we could stay here, with you. We thought it might be safer." Sokka asked when they were finally done.

Iroh did nod then. "Of course. Of course. You can stay in the extra room. Your room." He said, looking at Zuko. Sokka started to protest that he could sleep in the main room, assuming there'd only be one futon or chaise in Zuko's old bedroom but the look Zuko shot him shut him up, immediately.

Ohhhh he knew... had known... before he and Zuko had even known. All those comments Iroh had made the day before when they'd met in the market... he hadn't understood them then but he sure as hell did now. His face flushed brilliantly as the realization hit him.

"Umm, I'm gonna... I'm just gonna... go." He stammered as he rose ungracefully from his chair, hauling the heavy bags back into his arms. Iroh sighed and shook his head as the tribesman stumbled back out the doors.

"It seems I've embarrassed our young friend. Perhaps you should go talk to him, Nephew... and show him where he's going. We'll talk more about this tonight. For now you should rest." The wink that accompanied the end of that statement made Zuko nauseas but he just bit his lip against a rude retort and bowed.

"Thank you, Uncle."

**********

He caught up to a struggling Sokka fairly quickly and simply reached out and laid a hand on the younger boy's shoulder, redirecting his path in the actual direction of the apartment. Sokka refused to look at him, his face still beet red.

"Uncle won't be back to the apartment for hours." He whispered, his breath tickling the edge of the darker man's ear as he leaned in. The fact that his uncle had basically suggested the same type of liaison that he had in mind still made him queasy but memories of the way that Sokka had touched him that morning were enough to override it.

"I _cannot_ do that right now... in your uncle's apartment." He hissed despite the shiver of arousal that was already crawling up his spine. He dropped the bags as soon as he entered the door, huffing in relief.

"Are you sure about that?" Zuko asked throatily, nipping at Sokka's ear. The tribesman just growled and began moving towards the bedrooms but Zuko noticed that his hands were already working to undo the ties keeping his tunics closed.

****************

**The next few chapters are going to be pretty dark and basically one giant Poor Sokka moment so I needed to end this chapter on a fluffy note to make myself feel better. I keep forgetting that even though it's taken like four or five chapters only one day has actually passed since the boys first kissed. I guess they just breed them super horny in the Avatar Universe****. ;)**


	10. The Discovery

**So it may have taken me a little longer than normal to update but this past week was pretty hectic what with my birthday, midterms and Halloween and all. I'm sorry to say that the pressure is on at school now and will be for the next month and a half so updates will be a little more spaced out but I promise I will do it as often as I can. This story happens to be my stress releaser so fear not, I shall not abandon you my readers.**

**I do not own ATLA or anything related to it. Not even the dvds because they're too expensive.**

Sokka lay on his side, the top of his head nestled against the curve of Zuko's neck, fingers trailing absently through the tuft of downy hair that lined the firebender's abdomen. Zuko squirmed in response to the tickling touch and laid his arm, currently free of the sling, over his stomach catching Sokka's fingers in his.

"I'm sorry about Uncle. He's... unusually perceptive."

"No kidding." The tribesman grumbled. A faint blush began creeping over his cheeks as he thought about his conversation with the general the day before. "How did he know that we'd... you know..." He shifted uncomfortably. "This just happened yesterday!"

"Well... I'm not sure that he _did_ know until you ran out."

"Oh no. He knew. I saw him yesterday and he told me all this stuff about love and you and Mai and it all seemed really cryptic at the time but _now_ it makes perfect sense!"

Zuko stiffened slightly at the mention of his wife but Sokka didn't notice.

"Why are you so calm about this? Calm and understanding isn't really your thing, if you know what I mean, Zuko."

The firebender just shrugged, his mind still preoccupied with the knowledge that his uncle and Sokka had talked about his marriage before _he'd_ had the courage to say anything. There was also the matter of how _much_ his uncle may have said.

"I suppose I must be used to it. What... exactly did he say to you?"

"Huh, oh... um a bunch of stuff about not being able to change the past and Mai not being the love of your life and you thinking you're alone."

"That's it?"

"_It_? That's a mouthful in itself! And now I understand what he meant which makes it even worse!" He buried his face in Zuko's skin to hide his embarrassment. "Fis ish shoo umiliading."

Zuko closed his eyes and relaxed his muscles in relief. His uncle was a smarter man that he often gave him credit for. He probably needn't have been worried in the first place though. If Sokka knew it would be obvious. When had the Water Tribe boy _ever _been able to keep his mouth shut? If he had any idea what that letter had said Zuko would know it.

He was reminded that he had yet to speak with his uncle about the letter. The entire thing had slipped his mind with the attempt on his life and suddenly exposing his feelings for the tribesman. Now it was back at the forefront of his worries.

He was completely unaware that Sokka had been mumbling into his shoulder the entire time he'd been lost in thought until he felt the other boy's chin digging into his muscle and looked down to find clear blue eyes glaring up at him.

"You haven't been listening to me at all, have you?"

"I... yes?"

"Ugh... I can't believe you don't care about this."

"It's not that I don't care, Sokka, I'm just... I'm not ashamed of it. Uncle loves me and supports me, he always has."

"I'm not ashamed! I'm just... just...crap." Sokka grunted. He dug his face into Zuko's shoulder again then sighed as he pushed himself into a seated position. "It's been a few hours, I should check your bandages."

Zuko let the other boy get up and slide off of the futon, smiling when he made no move to put on any pants. His brown skin glistened with sweat, reflecting the sunlight and highlighting his muscles.

The tribesman would find out eventually. It wasn't something he could keep a secret forever but Sokka also wasn't going to stay with him forever. This was a tryst, temporary, he could see that. Sokka's decision would be no and he would leave and Zuko would tell him then, when it couldn't affect his choice anymore. Until that time he could still allow himself a small spark of hope that he would be proven wrong.

He started to push himself up when Sokka crouched next to his shoulder but the tribesman gently laid his hand on Zuko's right arm and eased him back down. He was pleased to note that the bandages still looked clean and dry. They fell into a comfortable silence as Sokka peeled the bandaging away from Zuko's chest as carefully as he could. He placed a comforting hand on the side of Zuko's neck when the paler boy grimaced and tried to pull away as the final layer was separated from the still tender skin.

"It looks good." He murmured more to himself than to Zuko. The skin was still mottled and pink but the amount of water that had been oozing from the burn had diminished significantly.

Zuko grunted in response. The fresh air on his skin was causing the wound to sting but for the most part the pain had lessened to a dull throb that he could manage... unless he tried to move too quickly or use his left arm at all.

"Thank you." Zuko turned his head to the side so that he could see Sokka's face. He hated to be a burden to anyone and even though it had barely been a day he was already itching to be up and about again. Sokka looked at him quizzically, completely taken by surprise.

"For what?"

Zuko didn't respond, instead wrapping his bad arm around Sokka's naked waist and pulling the tribesman forward, catching his mouth as an answer. He ignored the pain that shot through him, instead focusing on the pleasant feeling of Sokka's lips against his. He ran his tongue along Sokka's bottom lip, tasting him, asking for entrance.

He felt the other man smile into his mouth before Sokka's lips parted and he was able to slide his tongue inside and explore. This was the best he could do to show the warrior how he felt and he just hoped it was enough. It wasn't a kiss of passion though there was plenty of it there. They broke apart for air after a few minutes, smiles on both of their faces. Sokka beamed at the firebender despite the confusion still written on his face.

"Um, you're welcome?" He asked, chuckling.

******************************

They laid together until the sun went down and the room was bathed in a soft pink glow. Small parts of their minds nagged at them, reminding them of all the work they could have gotten done but those thoughts were ignored. In one day their worlds had been turned upside down and neither of them was quite ready to face the future.

When the room was officially dark Sokka helped Zuko sit up and get out of the bed so that he could dress and light the candles that decorated the apartment before Iroh returned. It was one thing to not be ashamed of his relationship but quite another to flaunt it.

They were attempting to cook dinner, something neither of them had done in as long as they'd been in the city if ever, when Iroh stepped into the apartment.

"Well you just sit down and let me do it! I think I've got a little bit more experience with this than you do."

"Your sister did all of the cooking while you traveled with the Avatar. I was there."

"You were only with us for like a month!"

"And you didn't do any of the cooking."

"_I_ can cook! Plus you need to rest."

"I'm _tired_ of resting. I need to do something."

"It's been one day, Zuko!"

Iroh stood silently at the entrance to the room, watching the boys interact, unsure if he should be concerned or amused. They were standing toe to toe in front of whatever they were trying to make, glaring at each other. Based on the smell wafting through the apartment he was certain it would not turn out edible.

He decided to interrupt when he heard a growl building in his nephew's throat.

"Ahem... I am sorry to interrupt but..." Both boys swiveled towards him in shock. They had been completely unaware that he was even in the room with them. "Is there anything that I can do?" He gestured towards the food, trying to hide the hope in his face that they would leave the cooking to him.

The boys looked down, ashamed that Iroh had seen them bickering.

"We were just making dinner, Uncle."

"Yea. We thought it'd be nice since you're letting us stay here."

They unconsciously edged closer to each other, their argument already forgotten. Iroh chuckled deeply, a wide smile etched onto his face as he watched the boys. He was pleased to see his nephew interacting normally with someone his age. He seemed stiff and uncomfortable even around the Avatar but there was no wall between him and the tribesman and that alone was enough to make Iroh happy. The manner of their relationship would create difficulty for them both, he could not deny that, but he had faith in the strength of their characters.

He walked over to the food and shooed the boys away, inspecting it warily for anything that could be salvaged. They grumbled as they took seats at the table but they didn't protest. Iroh glanced at them out of the corner of his eye and turned away quickly, hiding a small smile. They weren't looking at each other and didn't seem to realize that their shoulders were touching despite the more than ample space at the table.

"Are you planning to return to the Fire Nation now, Nephew?" He wasn't sure if he should have this conversation in front of the tribesman but there were many things that he and Zuko needed to speak about and not many opportunities to get either of them alone. He felt bad when he noticed Zuko flinch.

"Not yet."

"May I ask why? I believe it would be the safest place for you."

"That's what I said!"

"Do not start again, Sokka."

"I'm just saying..."

"And I don't care!"

"Oh really? Earlier you said you _did_ care about what I think!"

Iroh cringed as he realized that he'd unwittingly re-inflamed an old argument.

"I _do, _just... not about _this_! Augh."

Zuko laid his good arm on the table and dropped his head onto it in frustration.

"Fine! _I _don't care either!" Sokka pushed himself away from the table and stormed into Zuko's old bedroom, _their_ bedroom, and shut the door behind him.

"Hmm. Perhaps I should have waited until I could speak to you alone to bring that up. I did not realize you two were at such odds." Zuko snorted into the table and clenched his fist. "Zuko... I have always supported your decisions, however misguided they may be..."

"I know, Uncle." The young firebender slowly raised his head and regarded the older man wearily.

"I must tell you that you are acting quite recklessly."

"I can't go back, Uncle." It was barely more than a desperate whisper but Iroh seemed to understand.

"You have heard from her then..."

Zuko only nodded.

"This is not something that you can avoid forever, Nephew."

"I know that."

Iroh edged closer to his nephew, placing a comforting hand on the young man's slumped shoulder.

"Have you spoken with your friend about this?"

"No!" Zuko hissed. Iroh squeezed his shoulder and the young man softened slightly. "I don't know how to tell him. I just... I don't want him to leave."

"I understand. It is perfectly alright to be scared Zuko, but you mustn't forget your own inner strength. You have found your path before and I do not doubt that you will find it again. Remember that this is a blessing."

"A blessing... It isn't fair of me to keep this from him, is it?" Zuko hung his head, letting his hair create a curtain across his face.

"It is your choice, nephew."

Zuko sighed and dropped his head back down on the table.

************************

Sokka strained to hear the two men through the paper door but they were speaking too quietly. He was only able to catch snippets of the conversation and he couldn't make sense of them. He crossed his arms over his chest and growled in frustration, sitting down hard on the futon.

At least Iroh agreed with him. Zuko was taking this entire thing too lightly and he couldn't wrap his head around that. That wasn't the Zuko he knew. The Zuko who'd chased them halfway around the world, who'd fought his own father in order to stay true to himself, who'd insisted on going with him to the Boiling Rock and then _stayed_ there with him so that he could help save a man he'd never met, the Zuko who'd gone out of his way to help Katara get closure over their mother's death.

Zuko wasn't a _light_ person. He was a fighter and for reasons unbeknownst to Sokka, the tribesman was the only person he seemed to be fighting.

He rubbed his face roughly with the heels of his hands and then looked around the room. He was too stubborn to go back outside, plus he figured the two firebenders needed to talk. He couldn't really think of too many times that Zuko had actually been alone with his uncle since they'd been in the city. He studied the walls, searching for something but not sure what. It was when the firelight caught the edge of his boomerang, sticking out of his bag in the corner of the room, that he knew what to do.

The boomerang had landed in the corner of the courtyard after it had hit the assassin and he'd picked it up sometime during his packing, too distracted to even inspect it properly. Now he crossed the room and gingerly pulled it out of the canvas sack, holding it close to a candle.

A lopsided smile drew across his face as he noticed the small fragment of cloth that was snagged on the edge of the weapon. He hadn't been sure where the blade had hit the attacker but he'd assumed it had been somewhere around the upper body based on the way the form had fallen. If that was the case then he could guess that the assassin had been wearing a hood or had not been wearing armor and he'd nicked the shoulders.

Either way, he'd managed to keep a substantial segment of the attacker's clothes and it was very clearly red and black. He knew where this piece of cloth had come from... well. Fire Nation soldier.

So Zuko had been right about the assassin being part of his guard or at least _pretending_ to be part of the guard, which made _him_ right about keeping the guard around. He felt his heart speed up in excitement as he put the pieces together in his head.

Whoever had done this, they were still around. If one of the guards had suddenly disappeared someone would have said something and the entire royal guard couldn't have been in on it or it would have happened much sooner. But one or two men who'd managed to weasel their way in would have been forced to wait for the perfect moment. And he'd had a hand in creating it, a chaotic night with easy access and a distracted target.

The smile slipped off his face and his heart sank. He and Zuko _were _over, truly over. But he'd be damned if some Fire Nation scum were going to get the best of him. He was Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe. The plan guy, the meat and sarcasm guy, the boomerang guy and apparently the _really _unlucky in love guy, but he was _not_ a loser or a failure or a guy that let his friends get hurt.

He plunged his hand into Zuko's bag, pulling stuff out until he found a matching dark tunic and pants. He smirked and changed quickly, pulling his hair back into its signature wolftail. As a last measure he slung his sword across his back and shoved the boomerang into its holster at his side.

The conversation stopped when he slid the door open and stepped back into the front room of the apartment. Zuko's eyes shot to him and widened in surprise.

"What are you doing?" His voice was heavily laced with suspicion and his eyes narrowed as he took in Sokka's attire and the weaponry. Iroh appraised him calmly but he could see the suspicion in the general's eyes as well.

He opened his mouth to explain what he'd found but for once his brain was working miles ahead of his mouth. If he told them they wouldn't let him go check it out or worse they'd insist on going with him. He knew Iroh was a master firebender but he couldn't deny that the man would slow him down and Zuko was currently one handed _and_ the target.

Plus it wasn't like he was going to _do_ anything. He was just going to look around, find the uniform with a patch or a hole, confirm his suspicions and maybe figure out who it belonged to. No big deal.

He smiled over his frantically pounding heart and laughed nervously.

"I'm just gonna go out... for a little bit. No big deal. See ya later." He tried to brush past the young firebender and get to the door but Zuko managed to fist his hand in the bottom of Sokka's tunic.

"Why are you wearing my clothes?"

"Mine were... dirty?"

"Sokka..." Zuko growled, his brow furrowing deeply over his good eye.

The tribesman pulled the cloth out of Zuko's hand and took another step towards the door.

"I found something okay? I'm just going to go check it out. I'll be right back. I promise."

"No you're not. You're not going anywhere by yourself until we're safe." Zuko glowered at him, his voice dripping with authority.

Sokka laid a hand on his boomerang and narrowed his eyes at his lover. "_You_ are not _my_ Lord and you can't order me around. Plus _we're_ not in danger. You are. Whoever's out there, "he pointed dramatically towards the door, "they're after the Fire Lord not some Water Tribe _peasant._"

Zuko sat back as if he'd been slapped when Sokka spat the old moniker at him and the young warrior cringed inwardly but held his ground. He didn't dare glance at Iroh to see the older man's reaction.

"I'll be fine." He ground out after a few awkward seconds before turning on his heel and almost flying out the door.

He wasn't even sure where the guards had set up their quarters. It hadn't seemed important before and he'd just been happy that the guards had, for the most part, left them alone. Now he cursed himself for being so oblivious as he stole through the dark. They had to be close by so that they could respond if Zuko was in danger, not that they did it well, so he figured he would stick to the buildings closest to the tea shop and the apartment and if he didn't find anything within an hour, he'd go back.

He pressed his back to the lower wall of the apartment and tried to melt into the shadows as best he could listening for any noises that would alert him to the location of the guards. When he didn't hear anything he began creeping forward, doing his best to stay away from lit windows and the small lanterns that lined the street.

A small barn-like building connected to the back of the tea house caught his eye and he headed towards it. He decided Iroh probably used it for storage and since there couldn't be too much to store at a tea shop, it would be a perfect place for a small camp of guards. He smiled to himself before a sudden loud clang from somewhere to his left stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Shit!" He cursed and dove for the edge of the closest building. He took a few deep breaths, willing his heart to stop trying to pound its way out of his chest. A pack of pygmy pumas ran past him, one of them stopping to give him a quizzical look before tearing off after the first two.

"Spirits." He muttered, hanging his head while he tried to catch his breath. He kept his eye on the storage building as he slowly straightened up and prepared to resume his quest.

A sudden spark of fire in the direction of his destination was the last thing he saw before he felt a sharp crack at the back of his head and his world went black.

********

**kind of cliche but I'll get over it. I wasn't planning for this chapter to be so angsty... especially with how dark the story's getting but it just kind of happened that way. The good news is that Toph enters the story soon, for any of you who love her as much as I do.**


	11. The Separation Part 1: Sokka

**This chapter and the next chapter will be done in two parts. The first part showing what Sokka's going through and the second showing Zuko's part. Also I have a little history lesson for you guys.**

**In this chapter I mention the Pleasure Quarters which, as you'll see, are not a part of the Avatar Universe. I came up with idea to use them in this fic when I first started it, after we learned about them in my Japanese history class and I figure I should explain what exactly they are here before anybody gets confused. **

**Towards the end of the Tokugawa Shogunate in Japan pleasure quarters were created in the major cities to combat the building resentments and stress levels among the various social classes. The pleasure quarters contained a few things that were actually shown in the Ba Sing Se episodes, tea houses and poetry readings, but there was also shadow puppetry, artistry, and brothels. These areas were meant to ease the stress that was being caused by the country's forward movement into industrialization clashing with its strict Confucian ideals.**

**During the very end of the Tokugawa Shogunate and the Meiji Restoration girls and boys were often kidnapped and sold into prostitution against their will.**

**Finally, I just want to throw this one thing out there. In Samurai Japan, like in Ancient Greece, it was perfectly acceptable for a Samurai's primary relationship to be with another male as long as that other male was much younger. Since I see a lot of Japanese influence in the Fire Nation I choose to use this fact to justify not making the boys get all weirded out about suddenly liking their own sex and because this is fanfiction I choose to conveniently ignore the fact that a relationship between two males so close in age would actually not be okay. **

**(The Sun Warriors were totally based on the Ancient Mayans and Aztecs though)**

**Okay I'm done.**

His head was pounding. The pain was what woke him up, dragging him out of the murk and the darkness and back to consciousness. He groaned as his eyes fluttered open and he tried to slide a hand beneath his hair to feel for the source of the throbbing.

"Ugh... Zuko?" His tongue felt thick and dry, too big for his mouth.

His brain was working slowly, not processing things as quickly as normal. He couldn't understand why his hand hadn't reached the back of his head yet. Both hands were still in front of him, together... tied together... tied... he was tied up.

"Not quite." The voice was cold, disdainful and not Zuko, not even angry, enemy Zuko. There was a sharp jab to his ribs and he grunted as he was roughly rolled onto his back by the toe of a boot. "You'll see him again soon enough, long enough to say goodbye anyway."

"Wha...what?" His eyes were open but they had yet to focus. He could just barely make out the large, blurry figure standing above him in the dark.

"I had hoped for a little more of a fight from you. I was quite disappointed." Another kick to his ribs. He grunted and tried to move away but found that he was already against a wall and there was nowhere for him to go.

He didn't recognize the voice or the still blurry features of the man's face and he couldn't comprehend why he was suddenly at the mercy of this stranger. A third kick caught him in the shoulder and he closed his eyes and curled up on his side, trying to block his more important body parts from the man's boot.

"You put yourself in a bad position, kid. Should've kept out of it and let me do my job. If the Fire Lord doesn't die then I don't get paid and I _always_ get paid." Sokka cringed as the man took a step closer to him and kneeled, bringing his face uncomfortably close to the tribesman's. "Don't worry...I'm not going to kill _you_. I don't do things for free."

The man punctuated that last sentence with a nauseating punch to Sokka's gut, causing the boy to cry out and curl into himself even more.

Sokka's brain finally caught up with the situation and he felt a stab of fear in his chest. This close to the man he could make out the pattern of his clothes, red and black. This was the assassin and Sokka was at his mercy.

The man grabbed Sokka's jaw roughly with one hand while his other hand pulled something from the folds of his uniform. Sokka could see that it was a bottle and he watched with trepidation as the man easily uncorked it with a flick of his thumb. He tilted the tribesman's head back and forced his mouth open before pressing the bottle to his lips.

"Can't have you trying to escape. You're collateral." He explained as Sokka tried to squirm away, his stomach churning uncomfortably at the sick sneer on the man's face. The man tightened his grip and suddenly he could only focus on not choking on the foul liquid that was being poured down his throat.

Mercifully after a few desperate swallows the man pulled the bottle away and let Sokka's head drop to the floor. Sokka coughed and spat some of the liquid onto the ground before he felt his breath come back to him and he stopped convulsing with discomfort. His eyesight, which had never fully focused, began to blur again until he could hardly make out any distinctive shapes.

He felt the man grab him by the shoulders and brutally roll him onto his knees, securing his hands to something in front of him. They were pulled up high enough that he was forced to kneel to be comfortable. A rough piece of cloth was shoved into his mouth and he tried to bite down on the hand but his jaw wouldn't obey him.

His head was swimming but he was just conscious enough to understand that he'd been drugged. He tried to force himself to think clearly so that he could digest his situation and figure a way out of it but the drug induced fog was too thick and he felt his eyelids growing heavy. He slumped against the wall and let them drop, slipping back into unconsciousness.

Zuko walked forward out of the darkness, dressed in all of his Fire Lord regalia, and stared down at him, his face filled with pain and shock. It was the same look that had been on his face when Sokka had verbally slapped him, the last look he'd seen the firebender wearing. Sokka looked away in shame.

"Why are you pushing me away, Sokka?"

"I'm not! I'm... not..." He protested halfheartedly.

"But you are. You're shutting me out. Is it because you don't really love me? I know you don't want to stay with me."

"Yes I do! I do love you! I've told you that! You're the one who's never said it to _me_. I had to say it to myself _for_ you!"

He turned his head back up to face the firebender, desperation twisting his features. Zuko only shook his head, a sad look of defeat tugging at his regal features. Sokka had seen that look before too, at the western air temple, after Katara had drenched him and they'd turned him away when he first tried to join them.

"But haven't I _shown_ you? I'm the one trying to find ways for us to be together. I've let you in. Actions speak louder than words Sokka. A warrior should know that."

"Zuko... please. You said you wouldn't force me to decide. I thought you understood."

"I do understand, Sokka. I'll understand when you decide not to stay with me too, because I do love you and I want you to be happy."

The paler man took a step away, robes swishing around his ankles and nearly brushing Sokka's face, his face set with a sad smile.

"Wait!" Sokka cried desperately, trying to crawl forward and finding himself unable to move. "Zuko! How do you know that's what I'm going to decide? I don't even know that! I don't know what I'm going to do!"

Zuko tilted his head and sighed.

"Yes you do, Sokka. We both know that you do. I just wish I knew why."

Sokka felt his chest constricting until his breaths were uncomfortably shallow and hard to draw.

"I don't know. I don't know. I don't know." He bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut as he felt them begin to leak. He didn't want Zuko to see him cry.

"But you _do_ know, Sokka. It's because you couldn't protect me and you couldn't make Suki happy. You're scared."

He looked up sharply to see Yue standing slightly in front of Zuko, glowing ethereally.

"Yue? Yue, I'm sorry. I tried. I tried so hard but I failed you."

"Didn't you care about me Sokka?"

"Of course I did! Yue I... I cared about you so much. I'm so... so sorry."

"Don't you care about him?"

Sokka only nodded, no words left for him to say that he hadn't already spoken.

A soft smile graced the princess's face, as warm and reassuring as she had been the last time he'd seen her. She reached out a hand and cupped his cheek as Zuko stood stone faced behind her. He tilted his head into the touch and closed his eyes. He couldn't stop heavy sobs from racking his body then though no tears came. He felt tired and weak and desperate.

The world around him suddenly grew cold and he opened his eyes to see himself sitting in the middle of the tundra, the snow permeated his thin clothing and digging into his muscles. Yue was still there, smiling sadly at him, but Zuko was fading away into the blizzard, his white robes blending in with the blinding background. Sokka wanted to yell out and stop him. The fear he felt at the idea of losing the firebender was crippling him and stealing away his breath.

Suddenly Yue's touch turned cold and hard and he jerked away from it, submerging himself into bright white and losing sight of her. He was jerked awake as a sharp pain stabbed at his wrists with the movement that his body had unconsciously mimicked.

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter as the light pushed against them. His eyelids fluttered open against his will as his mind struggled to catch up with his body. He looked around wearily, confusion clouding his understanding.

Then realization dawned on him and remembered where he was. He was not in Zuko's bed, curled up against the warm and surprisingly soft firebender like he should have been and he was not leaning into the moon spirit's touch as the man he loved looked on. He was tied up and gagged in a strange room, slumped against a cold and hard wall.

He was still somewhat groggy, aftereffects of the drug he guessed, but he could see that the day had dawned and that it was actually bright enough to be afternoon already. He groaned and let his chin fall back against his chest.

This was not good.

He tried to shift out of the position he was in and nearly cried out when all of his muscles screamed in protest. Sharp stabs of pain raced across his body and attacked him mercilessly in punishment for allowing his limbs to stay in such an uncomfortable position for so long. He whimpered quietly as he did his best to stretch whatever he could without moving too quickly.

Once he'd stretched all that he could he examined his position and saw that his hands were secured with rope to a metal ring that protruded from the wall. He chanced a quick look around and noticed more along the walls and some even sticking out of the stone floor. Probably to tie animals to, he realized with some indignation. There were various sized boxes stacked around him and straw scattered across the ground. It was a storage facility like the one they'd looked for Appa in.

He was being held in a storage facility like an animal! As his ire rose it didn't even occur to him how irrational it was to be angrier about how he was being treated than the fact that he'd been knocked out and kidnapped in the first place.

He growled and began to gnaw at the ropes around his wrists when he heard footsteps just outside the room. This guy thought he was an animal? He'd show him an animal.

"How can you be so sure that this is going to work? The Fire Lord might be young but he's not a fool. He'll see right through this."

"No, he isn't a fool but I've done my research. He is proud and he is loyal. The scar on his face is from refusing to fight his father in an Agni Kai. The one on his chest he received risking his life to protect the _Avatar's_ woman. You really don't believe he would do the same for the man actually sharing his bed? He won't risk his lover's life, it wouldn't be honorable."

Sokka forgot his desperate attempt to get free as he strained to listen to the conversation. A chill rippled down his spine at the last statement. He may have been out of it the night before but he was pretty certain his kidnapper had specifically said that he _wasn't_ going to be killed. He'd also said he'd get to see Zuko again... to say goodbye. His eyes grew wide and wild as he silently prayed that Zuko wouldn't do exactly what this guy expected him to even as everything he knew about the firebender told him that he would.

"Do you even know who that is? He's not just some random call boy Fire Lord Zuko picked up off the street! He's the _brother _of the Avatar's girlfriend and I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere that he's the next in line to be chief of the Southern Water Tribe!"

The tribesman sat a little straighter and raised his chin.

_That's right whoever you are. I'm important. People know me. You won't get away with this._

"I'll admit he'd be worth more if he were going to be chief of the _Northern_ Water Tribe but being the Fire Lord's lover _and _a companion of the Avatar's should more than make up for it."

_Hey!_

"You don't think that it might make the Avatar mad when he finds out two of his friends are dead?"

"I'll be long gone by then and I don't intend to kill the hostage."

"But he's seen your face!"

"And so have you." Sokka shivered at the ice in the man's voice. He could imagine that whoever the other speaker was, he was probably uncomfortably close to making a mess of himself.

He heard a heavy door open and the footsteps began to echo off the stone.

"What... what are you going to do with him then?"

Sokka looked up as the two men entered his line of sight and glared. They were both dressed in the Fire Nation Royal Guard uniform, helmets and all, but the one leading the way was carrying himself with more grace and confidence than the other. Sokka assumed he was the assassin.

The disdainful sneer that twisted his mouth up when he noticed that the tribesman was awake and listening convinced him even more.

"I'm going to triple my income."

"H-how?"

The second man looked positively terrified, Sokka noticed. He wondered if the guy was a willing participant or if he'd been dragged into something over his head.

"Once I get my payment for killing the Fire Lord and his ransom," he cocked his head towards the tribesman," I intend to sell him in the Pleasure Quarters. I've done more than enough business with some very underhanded flesh merchants there."

The second man's eyes flitted away from the assassin's face and raked over Sokka's form with astonishment.

"He's too old! Who would take him?"

Sokka saw a glint of teeth in the assassin's sneer and automatically tried to make himself smaller in response to the sour lump of fear that was growing in his throat. He kicked out wildly when the man pulled a knife from his boot and took a knee in front of him. The man caught his booted ankle without even glancing at it and yanked it back, knocking Sokka off his other leg and leaving him hanging painfully from his suspended wrists. His head knocked against the stone, jarring his previous injury and ripping a pained groan out of his throat.

The man chuckled darkly and reached forward, grabbing Sokka by his wolftail and dragging his head forward. He caught a glimpse of the knife before it was removed from his vision and felt another chill. He _knew _this guy was the assassin. He'd already figured that out. But somehow he hadn't expected the man to have a whole set of matching knives. He should have, Mai had tons, but he hadn't and seeing the twin of the blade that had been imbedded in Zuko's chest still managed to shock him, so much so that he couldn't bring himself to fight back.

There was a sharp tug on his head and then his hair was falling loosely around his face and the man's grip was gone. He raised his face slowly, letting a brown curtain fall over his eyes as he regarded the man again. He was twisting the knife in front of him, allowing the sunlight to glint off the silver blade, a contemplative look replacing the sneer on his face.

Sokka flinched when the knife was suddenly thrust towards him but it never pierced skin. Instead the man cut cleanly through the sleeves of Sokka's tunic and then ripped the fabric from his body. Sokka screamed in protest around the gag and tried to squirm away but froze when a sick smile started to spread across the calculating face before him.

The man was appraising his body and _smiling._ He honestly intended to sell him in the pleasure quarters.._. _Sokka suddenly felt lightheaded and sick.

"He has a few more scars than I was hoping for but I'm sure I can pass him for seventeen maybe even sixteen." He suddenly plucked the rag from Sokka's mouth and eyed him coldly. "How old _are_ you, kid?"

"Twenty." Sokka snarled and spit in the man's face.

The man remained calm as he wiped Sokka's saliva from his skin and merely smirked at him.

"You'll regret that." He made as if he were going to stand and turn back to his partner but it was merely a feint. His fist flew too quickly for Sokka's muddled brain to follow and slammed into the tribesman's gut hard enough to make him nearly vomit.

He would have doubled over but he was still suspended by his wrists and there was nowhere for him to go. He could only groan and let his head hang. From beneath the curtain of hair he could see the man actually get to his feet and turn away.

"He'll pass for younger. The men I do business with don't exactly have the most intact moral ethics. They won't think twice about such an inconsequential lie."

"Sixteen's still a bit old."

The man sighed impatiently.

"I think patrons will forget that little fact when presented with the prospect of having the son of a Water Tribe chief _and_ the lover of the late Fire Lord. The flesh merchants will see that as well, I'm sure."

Sokka growled audibly and bucked against his constraints as he tried to get his feet back underneath him. He was _not_ going to let this happen. He was _not_ collateral. Zuko's voice popped into his head at that moment, reciting the engraving from his knife.

_Never give up without a fight..._

He made the firebender a silent promise.

_I won't, Zuko. I won't let it end like this. _

The man turned back when he heard Sokka struggling and his features twitched in something like amusement.

"He seems to be getting feisty... must be time for another dose."

Sokka saw the bottle leave the folds of crimson cloth and set his jaw. He was prepared this time and he wasn't going to go down so easily.

"You're keeping him drugged?"

"It's the best way to keep him subdued. He already got me once." He smiled ruefully as he regarded the young man. "Can't let that happen again, can I?"

Sokka allowed a sadistic grin to twist his lips as the man approached him and reached for his face.

No, he wouldn't give up. For Zuko, he wouldn't give up.

***************

**I had no intention of including Yue in this fic but Sokka's dream was too normal and when _I_ have dreams like this they never make that much sense. So enter the moon spirit. I know Zuko's really OOC but that's because he's dream Zuko, not real Zuko. He's a figment of a drugged up Sokka's subconscious. **


	12. The Separation Part 2: Zuko

**Sorry this took so much longer than usual! I've been really stressed out and for the last week I've been staying at my parents' house, so not much time to write. Quick warning, much of this chapter has been written while I've been deliriously tired and the very last part was written while I was semi drunk. It's thanksgiving and anyone who can handle their family _without_ a little alcohol is a hero to me.**

**don't own ATLA.**

**Zuko's POV**

Dawn's first light found Zuko hunched over the table, in the exact same place he'd been sitting when Sokka had left the night before, pillowing his head with his forearms. His back ached and he longed to relax on the futon in the bedroom but he knew he wouldn't sleep until the warrior returned and without him it didn't seem worth it.

He'd stayed up for a while, waiting for Sokka to come back, prepared to confront him and demand to know just what his problem really was but after hours had passed and the tribesman hadn't returned, he'd continued to stay awake, his anger fading and being replaced with worry.

He didn't raise his head when he heard the door to his uncle's room slide open softly. The floorboards creaked under Iroh's weight as he made his way towards his nephew but Zuko still didn't stir.

"Nephew?" Iroh approached the young man, his voice low with concern.

"I'm awake, Uncle." Zuko didn't raise his head and his voice was muffled by his arms but Iroh could hear the quiet despair.

"Have you been out here all night?"

Zuko barely nodded. Iroh frowned. He was all too aware of the stubborn streaks that both boys possessed but he had been sure that Sokka's anger would have burned itself out quickly and that he would have returned within the hour, if not to be with Zuko then at least to sleep in a warm bed. Iroh could see the genuine affection between his nephew and the tribesman despite their bickering, or perhaps underlying it.

Sokka was a good companion for the young Fire Lord. Without trying he was able to glean rare smiles from the constantly scowling mouth, true displays of emotion that reached all the way to his eyes, even the scarred one. And he cared deeply about Zuko's well being, Iroh could see that clearly. And Zuko, who had never liked being told what to do, had listened to Sokka's advice and followed it… some of it.

The older man understood why his nephew was so hesitant to return to the land that he ruled and he was sure that the young tribesman would understand as well but too much of the walled off, distant Zuko still existed. He was so afraid of being spurned by yet another person that he couldn't bring himself to trust in his relationship and seeing that broke Iroh's heart.

Iroh placed a hand lightly on his nephew's shoulder and his heart broke even further when he felt the small shudders, imperceptible to the eye, wracking the young man's body. Zuko was trembling with fatigue and pain but he refused to allow himself to rest without knowing that Sokka was safe.

"Nephew… You need sleep."

"No… I can't."

"Zuko, if something _is_ wrong what will you be able to do for him in this condition?"

Zuko raised his head off the table and without looking over his shoulder at Iroh, he stood and allowed the old general to guide him to his room. He didn't think he would be able to sleep but he didn't have the energy to argue.

It felt wrong, somehow, to lay on the futon alone. There was more room for him to make himself comfortable without the extra body crowding the space meant for one but to Zuko, it didn't feel right. He felt empty and cold without the tribesman's lanky limbs entwining with his. He even missed Sokka's raucous snoring in his ear.

He tried to refuse when Iroh brought him the bottle of medicine, feebly pushing at the old man's arm, but his uncle persisted and Zuko reluctantly swallowed a mouthful.

"I know you do not want to sleep, Nephew, but you must. You are still injured and sleep is essential to healing."

"What if something happened to him? I can't sleep when he could be in trouble! What if he needs me?"

Iroh laid a gentle hand on Zuko's forehead and looked at him with a face pained in sympathy. He, too, was worried that something may have happened to the tribesman but he knew that if he allowed it to happen, Zuko would make himself sick. Iroh knew there would be no way to stop the young Fire Lord from searching for his friend but he could make sure that Zuko was in better shape when he did it.

Zuko sighed and closed his eyes, rolling onto his side and curling up around a wad of blankets, substituting them for the warm body that should have been there instead.

He slept fitfully, even with the sleeping draught's aid, and woke groggy more than a few times when he reached for Sokka and didn't find him. It was early evening when he woke for the final time, his chest aching as much from the realization that the tribesman was clearly still gone as from his actual wound.

He knew his uncle had been right making him sleep, as much as he hadn't wanted to, and he did feel better. He felt determined. He wouldn't run anymore and he wouldn't hide. They may not have been in the Fire Nation but he was still the Fire Lord and he'd gone through so much to become what he was. He had earned _everything_ that he had and he wasn't about to let _anyone_ take it from him. Not his throne, not his life, and not his love.

He shed his Earth Kingdom clothing and strode over to the bags on the floor that had not yet been unpacked. It was not as easy to redress himself without Sokka's help and though it pained him to realize just how dependent upon the young man he'd become, he knew he wouldn't have changed it for anything.

The black and red and gold layers of silk fell into place upon his frame as if they were a rich second skin. Zuko knew that clothes didn't make a man, that he was still himself whether he was dressed in Earth Kingdom green or even Water Tribe blue, but he had a certain presence that expanded when he wore his own colors, when he dressed as the royalty that he was.

He had made a decision, one that was finalized as he pulled his long black hair into the topknot that felt so foreign after the last month and secured it with the antique headpiece that had passed between his great-great grandfathers. He was done hiding.

Iroh was not in the apartment when Zuko emerged from his room and Zuko found that he was sad for that. He'd learned long ago that relying on those closest to you was not a sign of weakness and though it was difficult for him to put that into practice sometimes, he couldn't help but need someone by his side. It was a place that his uncle had occupied for a long time but Zuko had not appreciated all that his uncle had done for him until it was almost too late. He had committed himself to never making that mistake again.

A soft breeze ruffled his robes as he stepped outside into the night. The air was warm and pleasant and the sunset cast warm shadows across the empty courtyard. Zuko wanted the night to feel miserable and cold, to reflect the way _he_ felt inside. He closed his hands into fists and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to compose himself. When he lifted his lids the captain of the guard was in front of him, waiting patiently.

"Sir?"

"The Water Tribesman…" A lump formed in his throat and cut off the rest of his sentence. He hated to refer to Sokka that way as if that could personify all that he was. He was so much more than just part of a nation, so much more.

"Sir, we've been looking for him all day. I'm sorry but…"

Zuko narrowed his eyes at the guard. "Who gave that order?"

"Your uncle, Sir."

Zuko nodded, calming. "You've found nothing?"

"No, Sir. The guard was on him but he claims he was knocked out and then the boy was gone."

"I want to speak with him."

"He's out searching. There are four of us here. The rest are looking for the boy."

Zuko set his jaw and nodded to the man. He had been sorely hoping for any sign or clue, anything. It was in his nature to hope against hope. He'd done it his entire life. He'd believed against the odds that he would find the Avatar and he had. He'd hoped the entire time he'd been in Ba Sing Se that somehow he would still be able to gain his father's acceptance and return home and, in a way, he had. And he'd never quit believing that he would ascend to the throne, as was his right, and he had. This situation would be no different.

He would continue to believe that he would find Sokka until he did.

"Notify the Avatar, he'll want to know of the situation."

"Sir we have no way of knowing where the Avatar is and… are you sure you should take up his time over one boy?" The captain didn't continue but Zuko knew exactly what was going through the man's head.

_It's bad enough that he already takes up so much of yours._

"That _boy _is a companion of the Avatar's. He is an esteemed warrior, the brother of the Avatar's consort, and the next in line to become chief of the Southern Water Tribe. I am quite _positive_ that the Avatar will want to know of this and that he will stop at nothing to find him… as will I."

The guard took a tentative step back, visibly unsettled by the cold anger in the Fire Lord's voice.

"Y…you're right, Sir. Of course, Sir."

"Send hawks to all the major cities in the Earth Kingdom. If he isn't in any of them, someone will understand that I'm looking for him and will be able to find him."

The guard nodded and bowed, Zuko did not bow back. It was petulant but he wanted to show the guard his dominance. He didn't appreciate his orders being questioned. When the guard was out of sight Zuko began walking towards the tea shop.

There weren't many people in the area but those who were still milling around stopped and stared, most even bowed to him, those who didn't failed out of shock. This was why Zuko hated to walk around dressed like this. He knew, for the most part, that people bowed to him out of respect of his position but the idea that it was out of fear of what he represented, residual fear of the Fire Nation itself, nagged at the back of his mind.

Fear was the easiest way to rule, to get people to do what he wanted, but Zuko didn't want to be feared. He didn't want to do anything the way his forefathers had done.

He picked up his pace and looked straight ahead. He didn't want the attention he was receiving, he just wanted to talk to his uncle, but he would use whatever he had to find Sokka, he just hoped that being the Fire Lord would be enough.

Zuko was surprised to see the Jasmine Dragon was vacant when he arrived. It was lit but there were no customers, not a single person. He walked through the entrance tentatively, glancing around for the old general.

"Uncle?"

Zuko felt foolish just standing in the middle of the empty tea shop. He shifted uneasily and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Uncle!"

"Oh Zuko. You are awake." Iroh appeared from the back, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. He quirked an eyebrow at Zuko's appearance but the warm smile on his face did not falter. Zuko noticed.

He looked down at his apparel and took a deep breath, then raised his head and met his uncle's eye, his face set with grim determination.

"I have been stubborn, Uncle, and foolish. If I had faced my problems in the first place, instead of running away from them, then Sokka wouldn't be in danger. It is one thing for my life to be threatened because of my position but not the lives of my friends. I'm done hiding. I'm going to use all of my power to find Sokka and then I'm going to return to the Fire Nation."

Iroh nodded, pride in his nephew's growth apparent on his face.

"You should not berate yourself my nephew. You are a strong young man and you have faced many challenges in your life, more than any one person should, and though you have not always faced them with grace you have always found your path in the end. I am truly sorry that your enemies have put an innocent life in danger but I have faith in your young warrior. You should as well."

"I _do_."

"Please Zuko, sit. Let me make you some tea."

"Uncle… I don't have time for tea… I _know_ that Sokka can handle himself but that doesn't mean I should sit around and just wait for him to get out of this on his own!"

"I do not expect you to, nephew. In fact I would be disappointed in you if you did, but, although you have taken a positive step by embracing your position, you are still too hotheaded and you will no doubt get yourself into trouble."

Zuko opened his mouth to protest but Iroh simply raised a hand and continued.

"The world needs you, Zuko. Becoming Fire Lord was your destiny and you have done better than I could have dreamed. I am _so_ proud of you and your mother would be proud of you. But please do not let your passion for this young man lead you astray. You can do nothing for him if you are captured… or killed."

"Uncle, I…"

"Sit, Zuko. I have just received a new shipment of Jasmine Tea that I think you will enjoy."

Zuko obeyed and took a seat at a table closest to the back counter so that his uncle would not have to walk very far. He rose to assist the old man when Iroh returned but he was shooed away.

"Uncle, I want to thank you for setting up the search party while I was… sleeping."

"Of course, Zuko. I consider the young man a friend as well. I do not wish to see any harm come to him."

"I forgot how much I hated this city. There are a million places that he could be hidden." A sudden sad look crossed his scarred features, so exposed by the harsh hairstyle. Until this moment he had not allowed himself to accept any other possibility than that of Sokka being kidnapped. "I suppose it's possible that he's left me. He took his weapons… they're all he really needed."

Iroh placed a hand on his nephew's shoulder.

"No, Zuko. I do not believe that is the case. Yes he was angry with you but I can see that he loves you just as you love him."

Zuko hung his head.

"It doesn't matter. Once I find him… I have to go back. I have to embrace my future and my family…"

"I have a bit of advice for you. I shared it with our young friend not too long ago and it seemed to mean something to him. You cannot hope to know the future, nephew, and you cannot change the past. I do not know what path young Sokka will choose but you will always have this time together. You both lost your way but together you have found your directions again. It is impossible to see exactly where they will take you but I am sure they will cross with each other again."

"Um… thank you, Uncle."

"I know I have said this before, Zuko, but your life is about to take a blessed turn. You are worried that you will yet become your father but you have too little faith in yourself. You are your own person and you have proven that time and time again."

Zuko looked down. He didn't want to think about what he was going to have to face when he returned home, what Mai was waiting for him with, not with Sokka missing.

"Thank you Uncle."

They sat in silence and sipped their tea for a few moments. Iroh believed he was allowing for his words to sink in and Zuko stubbornly did not want to discuss anything that didn't revolve around the missing tribesman. He opened his mouth to bring that exact topic back up when there was a frantic knock on the tea shop door.

Zuko looked at his uncle quizzically before calling out. "Enter."

A young, obviously frazzled guard burst through the doors waving a piece of parchment as he stumbled across the room.

"My Lord! My Lord!"

Zuko stood to intercept the man, his unease made Zuko suspicious but he was far more interested in the letter the man was holding.

"I… I was searching for the Water Tribesman and," he prostrated himself in front of the young firebender, " I'm so sorry that I lost him, Sir. I failed you and I failed the Fire Nation. I was taken by surprise… I… that is no excuse. Please, my lord, be merciful."

Zuko's nostrils flared with anger and he raised his fist but a quick glance at his uncle was enough to keep him in check and he managed to keep his fire inside and his voice even.

"_You_ were Sokka's personal guard?"

"Sir, yessir."

"Tell me _exactly_ what happened."

The man sat up but stayed on his knees with his head bowed to Zuko.

"He came out of the apartment and I started to follow him but he was sneaking around in the shadows and it was hard but I was keeping up and then there was some sort of distraction, I don't even know what, because then I was knocked out and when I came to he was gone. Not a trace of him… Sir."

Something about the man's demeanor still unnerved Zuko but he chalked it up to fear of his notorious temper, something he'd worked on… _hard,_ but hadn't yet learned to control. He took a few meditative breaths and held out his hand for the piece of parchment.

"I was out searching for him and a man stopped me on the street and shoved this into my hand. I tried to catch him but I lost him in a crowd. I came straight here as quickly as I could… s..s…sir."

Zuko snatched the paper away from the trembling hand and crumpled it in his own fist.

"You are dismissed."

The man bowed awkwardly and scrambled to his feet, nearly tripping in his desperation to get out the door. Zuko stared after him for a bewildered second before turning his attention to the letter. He knew it had something to do with Sokka and he was as terrified as he was eager to open it.

"Zuko?"

The young firebender took a deep breath and began to smooth out the parchment but another, and this time much louder, distraction interrupted him.

"What exactly do you _mean_ I can't go in there?"

"Miss, the owner of the shop has given us explicit instructions to keep customers out."

"Good thing I'm not a normal customer. Now get out of my way."

"Miss, we are the Fire Lord's personal guard. We have the right…"

"_Look_ you. I could take you all down with one foot tied behind my back. _I _happen to be a close personal friend of your Fire Lord _and_ the Avatar and if you had any clue how things work in the Earth Kingdom I wouldn't _have_ to tell you any of that because you would already _know_ who _I_ am."

"Mi.. umph!"

Zuko and Iroh heard the distinct sound of rock sliding against rock and they could each imagine Zuko's guards unfortunately encased in homemade holes in the ground. The doors opened rather forcefully and the two men found themselves facing a very prettyand young Earth Kingdom noblewoman, who stared right back at them with sightless eyes and a very unladylike smirk.

"It's just impossible to get good guards these days isn't it?" Her smirk turned into an, only slightly, evil grin. "Hey there Sparky, long time no see."

* * *

**There's a hint in there about what Zuko's secret is and what the letter from Mai said. I'm hoping it's not too obvious. Happy Thanksgiving!**


	13. The Ransom Part 1: Sokka

**I don't own ATLA. **

**Heads up: Next week is finals week and then I'm on break for a month but I'll probably be at my parents' house that entire time and it's kind of hard for me to write there because they expect me to spend time with them and stuff, so I can't promise that I'll be able to update often. I'm tentatively going to say that there are about five chapters left but that number could go up, which is only a good thing right? :)**

Sokka watched the two men move about his temporary holding cell from under heavy lids as they prepared for… _something. _His shoulders ached from having his arms raised and the appendages themselves had stopped tingling from the lack of blood flow nearly an hour before, which was definitely a bad thing. He was still kneeling on the stone floor and he could feel bruises forming on his shins and kneecaps from the position but if he stood up and tried to relieve all of his aching limbs, his kidnapper would realize that he was awake and he'd only get beaten again. He could see the deep purple bruises flowering across his chest and sides and he half suspected that at least one of his ribs might be broken.

He'd fought the drug hard this last time and managed to keep it from knocking him out completely, but now his breathing was labored and his head kept threatening to drop against his will. But he had to figure a way out of his predicament before Zuko got hurt. And he didn't want to face dream Zuko again because conscious or unconscious he still didn't have an answer for him.

He was tired and his body hurt but he forced his mind to stay sharp. He kept an eye out for any opportunity, any opening. He knew that Jumpy, the one he'd decided was a genuine member of the guard, had delivered a ransom note to the young Fire Lord but he didn't know what it said. It was clear, though, that this was not the place where they intended to meet him. It made sense. They were probably somewhere in the middle ring, too busy for a confrontation with the Fire Lord to go ignored.

They seemed to be trying to wipe every trace of their presence from the storage facility and they were both fully dressed in their Royal Guard uniforms, helmets and everything. There was a wagon in the center, piled high with boxes and random objects and a tarp they would probably use to cover it all. Sokka figured he'd end up in there too, just another worthless piece of cargo. They were packing everything in tightly, probably so he wouldn't be able to move around and alert anyone to his presence.

He tensed as much as his sore muscles would allow when Fists, his new name for the assassin because his body had become increasingly acquainted with said body parts, walked toward him with even and deliberate steps. Sokka's stomach churned with a mixture of fear and nausea. He hadn't eaten since he'd snuck a taste of the waste of a meal that he and Zuko had attempted to make almost two days before. Fists had said something about not feeding him so that he would lose weight and look younger. They'd given him some water but not nearly enough and his throat was constantly dry and scratchy and the bitter taste of the drug lingered on his tongue.

"You're going to drug him again? He's not even awake yet! He could overdose!"

Fists just looked impatient, like if Jumpy weren't such an integral part of his plan he'd have gotten rid of him a long time ago. But Fists needed Jumpy; that much was obvious. Jumpy did everything that involved facing Zuko and he'd been responsible for letting Sokka get knocked upside his wolf's tail. It hadn't taken Sokka long at all to figure out that Jumpy had been his tail this entire time.

Fists clasped the familiar bottle in his hand tightly and turned around to glare at his partner and Sokka took that opportunity to maneuver himself into a better position. Pretending to still be out wasn't going to work if Fists was going to drug him again so despite the agony that he was in he was going to have to move. Biting his lip hard enough to bleed against the shrieks of pain that wanted to break free of his mouth, he curled his toes, gripped the metal ring that he was tied to with his fingers for leverage, and rocked back into a crouch. The sudden renewed flow of blood through his legs was excruciating and as strong as he always claimed to be, he couldn't bite back a tiny whimper which got Fists' attention.

"Little faker." He spat with a sneer. Sokka cursed himself and set his jaw, clamping his teeth together as tightly as possible. The larger man crouched in front of him and grabbed his jaw roughly with two fingers, an all too familiar grip after the last two days. Sokka was sure he would have fingertip shaped bruises on his skin permanently when this was all over.

The young warrior glared hatefully at the man as he tried to force the boy's mouth open to accept the foul liquid.

"Open up pretty boy. Everything will be so much easier for you if you just cooperate. You really should get used to submission now because you'll be doing a lot of it for the next few years." The man's voice was smooth as velvet and flush with inuendos.

Sokka shuddered but didn't unclench his jaw. Fists started to get angry, his usually collected demeanor shattering with impatience to get his plan in motion. It was probably unwise on his part but Sokka couldn't suppress the smirk that twisted his lips as he suddenly and roughly jerked his knee up and out, efficiently knocking Fists' arm away from his body and sending the bottle crashing to the floor. The movement had been jerky and excruciating but completely worth it. What once had been a bottle was now in pieces on the floor, its contents soaking into the stone.

The smirk stayed, smug on Sokka's full lips, even as he watched the back of Fists' hand flying towards his face. The slap of contact echoed off the walls and Jumpy lived up to his name, literally jumping backwards in his shock. Sokka's brain rattled against his skull as his head snapped to the side but it was okay because the drug was gone. He opened and closed his mouth, testing that his jaw still worked, before he turned back to face Fists, face split in a maniacal grin filled with blood stained teeth. Score one for the Water Tribe _motherfucker._

Fists snarled at him and drew his arm back, prepared to smash his namesake straight into Sokka's shit eating grin, and probably knock out a few of his teeth with the ferocity he was displaying, but Jumpy lunged and grabbed him.

"Don't! Don't do it! He's not worth anything damaged! Think of the money!"

Sokka noticed that Jumpy looked downright terrified and he really couldn't blame the guy. Fists was looking less like a man and more like an enraged polar leopard every second. Where before Fists had been pummeling him for fun, Sokka had genuinely angered him this time and he was beginning to imagine that a broken rib was nothing compared to what this guy could do. And with the crazy look spiraling in Fists' eyes, Sokka couldn't take comfort in the fact that he'd originally claimed not to do anything for free. He looked like he would _enjoy_ killing the tribesman at this point.

Sokka couldn't help but wonder when Fists had gone over the edge, when this plan had become too much. The young warrior was just the tiniest bit, _completely, _sure it had a lot to do with him. The man was a mercenary, a paid assassin. He killed people for money and from his initial behavior Sokka was sure he'd been doing it for quite a while, but now he was losing it and that gave Sokka hope.

Fists looked as if he were about to shake Jumpy off and go through with smashing Sokka's face for one horrible second but the mention of money seemed to calm him… enough, and he stood.

"Tie him securely and get him in the cart… And gag him." He ground out through clenched teeth before he walked out. "I won't be far. Don't do anything stupid." He warned just before his back disappeared.

Jumpy looked as if he were about to be sick. His hands were trembling and his legs looked like they might buckle with every shaky step that he took towards the bound tribesman.

Sokka raised an eyebrow at him. With Jumpy in this condition he'd probably be able to fight back… probably. Then Jumpy pulled out a knife and Sokka started to worry about how well the man would be able to wield it and he _was _still tied to the wall so it's not like he could get away.

_Patience, Sokka, patience. You aren't the plan guy for nothing._

"Don't… Don't try anything ok? I really don't want to have to hurt you." Jumpy had his hands up in front of him in a sort of peace offering that didn't really mean anything considering there was a knife in one of them. Sokka promised himself that when this was all over, he was going to let Zuko go ahead with dismissing his guard and _he _was going to handpick all of the new ones.

Irrationally his mind drifted to Boiling Rock and how easily they'd been able to blend in just because they were wearing uniforms. Clearly Zuko didn't know any better than to surround himself with incompetence… except for him, _he _was the opposite of incompetent… and the rest of the gaang. They were pretty competent. And Zuko _had_ gotten himself caught so really he couldn't be expected to…

_Damnit Sokka! Focus!_

His eyes snapped up to Jumpy standing over him, knife uncomfortably close to Sokka's wrists. He squirmed fearfully, unsure of what the guard was doing.

"Stoppit! I don't want to cut you!"

Sokka screwed his face up but tried to stay still.

"Why are you doing this?" He cringed at his voice. It sounded like a badger frog had tried to talk. Well he hadn't said a word in almost two days, maybe three, he really wasn't sure anymore, either way it was an excruciatingly long time for him.

Jumpy looked at him quizzically so Sokka assumed he hadn't sounded any better outside of his head. He tried again.

"He's just using you."

"Shut up, kid."

Sokka swallowed painfully. Jumpy was about to break. He'd wondered when he first woke up here if Jumpy was in on this plan by choice and now he was guessing the answer was no or some variation of it. Probably he'd been drawn in by the lure of money without ever really thinking about the consequences, which were pretty fucking major. Azula as Fire Lord? No thank you, he'd _rather_ be locked away in a brothel.

"Do you really think, after all this… that he's just going to give you a chunk of the money and let you go?"

"We have a deal." Jumpy was gritting his teeth and sawing away at the knot connecting Sokka's wrists to the ring. The tribesman had no hope that this was because he was going to let him go.

"And then what? Are you going to run? The other guards know who you are. You'll be wanted by the Fire Nation for the rest of your life."

Jumpy almost dropped the knife in his shock. He bit his lip nervously as he contemplated Sokka's choked statement.

"But the Fire Lord'll be de…"

"Dead? Yea, the _good_ one will be. The one that actually gives a shit about his country and the rest of the world."

Jumpy looked genuinely freaked out at this point. "Shut _up_!"

"So the most probable outcome is Zuko's crazy sister gets put on the throne and be_lieve_ me, she is beyond being one element short of an Avatar. She'll know you killed her brother, not that she'll care about _that_ but she's so paranoid she'll have you hunted down like a dog…"

"Shut up shut up SHUT UP!"

Sokka clamped his mouth shut. Jumpy _did_ have a knife after all.

"You don't understand. I don't want the Fire Lord dead… I mean, he's _scary_ but Ozai was scarier. I wasn't part of the royal guard then but I heard stories."

Sokka resisted the urge to scoff. Zuko wasn't scary… once you got to know him… okay _maybe _Sokka felt for the guy, he'd never had the Fire Lord at his mercy and screaming out his name just because of how well he used his mouth.

"I don't know how I got myself into this mess. I just got made Royal guard last year and at first I didn't mind being assigned to you, you know? It was kind of an honor."

Sokka would have preened if he hadn't been so stiff and completely immobile.

"But then this guy was offering me all this money to get him a uniform and to distract the Fire Lord and then _you_ got in the way!"

Again, the urge to preen was strong.

"I kinda hoped that'd be it… but he knew I was assigned to you and then we saw you sneaking around and… and fuck!" The guard forgot about cutting at Sokka's bindings and buried his face in his hands, knife conveniently held out of the way.

"You could just let me go…" Sokka offered up hopefully.

Jumpy shook his head sadly and resumed cutting Sokka away from the ring. His wrists were still tightly bound together but he could feel the difference when the rope was finally severed. His arms felt incredibly heavy and he wouldn't have been able to hold them up if Jumpy hadn't caught his hands as they started to fall, taking the rest of his body with them.

"I'm really sorry about this." He whispered, and Sokka wondered just what else this guy had to be sorry for or if he was still talking about what he'd already done, and then he was too busy screaming against the palm that was suddenly cupped firmly over his mouth and actually pinching his nostrils closed, as his arms were roughly shoved down towards his legs.

He tried to fight back. Every ounce of him burned with the desire to fight back, but he was just in too much pain. He squeezed his eyelids shut against the tears that were more than threatening to fall and completely ignored the sobs that would have been hiccupping in his throat if he'd had any air to create them.

When his body stopped bucking against Jumpy's legs, the hand was removed and Sokka gratefully sucked in desperate mouthfuls of air, his cheeks cold where the tears had cut wet trails through the grime on his skin.

"You don't have to do this." He gasped between soundless sobs, his shoulders _burning._

"It's too late!" Jumpy hissed as he bound Sokka's ankles.

"It's not! I swear. You can let me go. You could come with me! I'll tell Zuko that you saved me and I'll make sure he doesn't kill you! I mean, he didn't have his dad or his sister killed and they _both_ tried to kill _him _more than once! He'll banish you at the most!"

Sokka was aware that he was basically begging but he couldn't bring himself to do anything better. He'd thought he could break this guy but it was clear that Jumpy had gotten himself into a position that he couldn't see a way out of. Sokka honestly would have felt bad for the guy if he weren't tying him up so that he could be used to lure the Fire Lord to his death and then promptly sold as a sex slave. Those facts made it kind of hard for him to be too sympathetic.

Jumpy paused tying the knot that would secure his wrists to his ankles and keep his body folded into the fetal position and Sokka felt the hope again, bubbling beneath his bruised and battered ribs.

"There's two of us. We could take him."

The man looked as if he was about to speak but at that second the sound of footsteps echoed across the cell and Sokka's tentative optimism came crashing down. Jumpy blanched and quickly finished tying the knot then picked up the filthy rag they'd been using to stop Sokka's mouth, off of the floor.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in response to Sokka's wide and frightened eyes, as he forced the cloth past his teeth.

Sokka started to hyperventilate, realizing that he may have just missed his only chance to save Zuko. He laid his cheek against the cold stone of the floor and bit down as hard as he could on the gag to keep himself from trembling. He wouldn't give the asshole the satisfaction. Fists' boots came into Sokka's line of view and he flinched unconsciously, half expecting to be kicked. Without turning his head he eyed the man through the curtain of hair falling over his face and felt bile rise in the back of his throat at the sick smirk that he saw. The man's angry mood of just a few minutes earlier had clearly faded. He looked almost… _happy._

"Good job." He said to Jumpy, regarding Sokka's restraints. "Let's get going. I've come up with the perfect plan to teach this little shit a lesson and I'd like to finish before the Fire Lord arrives."

"What… what's that?"

Fists smiled then and Sokka would have thrown up if there had been anywhere for the vomit to go.

"I'm going to give him a little taste of what the rest of his life is going to be like. Teach him to submit like a good boy."

Jumpy's eyes widened and Sokka gagged around the rag in his mouth as Fists hefted him off the ground and tossed him roughly into the bed of the wagon. He desperately tried to meet Jumpy's gaze, tried to convey his fear and desperation with a look, but before he could the tarp was being secured over him and everything went black.

He didn't know how long the trip lasted, only that every bump in the uneven road caused the boxes to shuffle and crash into his aching body and that no one could hear him. His throat was raw with trying to yell and scream around the gag, but the streets were too crowded, the level of noise too high, too many animals and shrieking children. His cries went completely unnoticed.

He felt it when t wagon stopped and he heard Fists conversing with someone, loudly though he couldn't quite understand the words being said, and then the familiar sound of heavy stone grating against rock and he knew that the giant gates of the Inner Wall were being opened to let them through. Eventually the road got rougher and the outside noise got quieter until there was nothing left to assault his ears but the sound of the ostrich horses plodding along and the creak of the wagon as it was pulled into the flat farmlands in between the two walls. He briefly wondered if they were going to go all the way out, leave Ba Sing Se altogether, but there was no way for him to know and he was too tired and broken to care.

_I'm sorry, Zuko. I'm so sorry._

He closed his eyes tightly and tried not to see Zuko with the knife imbedded in his chest, looking at him and blaming him. Suddenly and without reason he felt pulled to open his eyes again and they widened when a sliver of light crept into his dark cocoon. He thought that they must have reached their destination and that the tarp was being lifted but the wagon hadn't stopped moving. It seemed that the covering had just come loose, allowing the moonlight to stream in.

_Yue._

And then that hope within him that had for so long refused to die came surging back. Yue was watching him, reminding him that she was there with him. He wouldn't fail again, he _couldn't._

He watched the slim finger of the moonlight as it probed the darkness, as if searching for something. The opening in the tarp didn't get any wider but the light seemed to get stronger, brighter, more aggressive until it seemed to find what it was looking for and something gleamed in the inky blackness like a jewel.

_Boomerang!_

Sokka nearly squealed when he realized that not only was boomerang there but he could actually reach it even in his awkward position. It was wedged between two of the boxes and he could just grasp the corner with his fingertips and with just the right movement he… could… pull it free!

Sokka caught a glimpse of the moon through the opening, it was brief but it was enough, and he smiled. He managed to press the outer and sharper edge of the weapon against the rope connecting his hands to his feet and set to work sawing at it. It was awkward and his fingers ached from gripping the thin blade, but it was nonetheless efficient so he forced his tired muscles to continue working.

He was amazed that Fists had missed it because there was no way it had been put there by accident. Neither of them was that stupid. No, he had to assume that Jumpy had put it there, hoping that the tribesman would find it. _Thank you_, Jumpy.

The rope snapped quickly and Sokka gave himself a second to do a victory wiggle before he reached up to take the rag out of his mouth and then curled back into the fetal position so that he could set to work cutting the rope around his ankles. If it came down to it he figured he could still do a fair amount of damage with his hands tied but he'd be worthless with no way to run.

He could feel the wagon rolling to a stop just as the rope slackened and then broke, freeing his legs. No time to get his hands, he'd make do. He smiled maliciously and maneuvered boomerang so that his grip was sure, despite the rope, and the sharp corner was facing away from him sure to be the first thing to make contact and then he waited.

He kept his breathing low and even so that he could hear the men outside the wagon. He didn't want to have to hurt Jumpy but he was prepared to attack whoever pulled back that tarp and tried to grab him. The crunching of gravel underneath boots alerted him to someone's presence at the edge of the wagon and then the tarp was being pulled away and before he could even see a face Sokka lunged, slicing through the air and yelling a hoarse battle cry that ripped at his throat.

He felt boomerang make contact with soft skin and slice deeply and then the figure in front of him was crouching on the ground, howling in shock and pain, and Sokka was leaping over the wall of the wagon. He stumbled when he hit the ground but he tucked his shoulder and rolled, using the momentum to propel him to his feet again and then he was running. He ignored the burn in his legs as they protested the sudden exertion after days of being immobile. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, blood pulsing against his ear drums, and his vision was blurry but still he kept going.

He could only hope that he'd gotten Fists because there was a chance that Jumpy wouldn't follow him but even before he could fully think that, the rice paddies came into view and suddenly he was sliding in the mud and flat on his back in two feet of water. He flailed, terrified at first, and then looked around. The rice was tall here and the water deep and murky. He rolled onto his stomach and searched frantically for any sign that he'd been followed or found.

He could hear them, stomping through the crops and the dirt, but they didn't see him. He was so thankful for the darkness he nearly wept. In this light even the sparse green covering of the rice stalks was enough to keep him hidden.

"How did he get that weapon?" He could hear Fists hissing.

"I don't know! He didn't have it when we put him in there. You did it yourself. You saw him!"

"This is your fault! I don't know how you got it past me but I know you did it. You're going to regret crossing me!"

"No, no I swear! Wait!" There was a pause and Sokka felt his heart in his throat. "I hear someone."

"Dammit! The Fire Lord is here already. Well it seems all my benevolence has gone to waste, the star crossed lovers won't get to say goodbye to each other after all."

_No, no, no… _Then the footsteps were walking away and the next thing Sokka heard was enough to turn the blood in his veins to ice and stop his heart.

A low, rough voice, seething with anger…

"_Where. Is. He."_


	14. The Ransom Part 2: Zuko

**This chapter is subject to revisions at a later date. I had a bit of writer's block. :/**

**don't own atla blah blah blah. **

He whirled the dual swords around his body as naturally as if they were extensions of his own arms. The edges of the blades sparked with fire as he sliced the air, encasing himself in a tornado of flame. He didn't so much as flinch when he saw the boulder flying towards him, immediately crossing his swords in anticipation. Pain shot through his chest when the rock made contact, causing his wound to throb but he didn't drop his stance. His bare chest gleamed with sweat in the fading sunlight and his face was framed by loose strands of hair that had fallen from his once neat top knot.

He panted heavily with exertion and pain but he did not falter as the great clumps of earth bombarded his frame, desperate to make him fall. He grit his teeth as he sent a well timed arc of fire towards his assailant, earning an indignant yell and a particularly vicious retaliation. He was unable to block all of the small rocks that she sent his way and he was forced to curl downward to protect his chest from further injury as they pelted his skin. The earthbender cackled hollowly behind him as he took a knee and turned his back.

There was no true mirth in her voice as she, by all appearances, wallowed in her victory and Zuko knew this even as he bristled at the defeat. The entire thing had just been a distraction. A way to waste time until the sun went down and they could put their plan into action. They had been at this for hours. What had started as a test of his ability despite his injuries had become a well timed ballet of earth and flame that had kept both of their minds off of the slowly setting sun.

He attempted to breathe deeply but a throb in his left pectoral forced him to catch his breath sharply and grimace.

He could feel Toph's presence behind him, waiting impatiently for his signal and he glanced quickly at the sky, determining the position of the source of his bending within seconds. He rose and turned toward the girl, scuffing his right foot along the ground as he bowed. She set her jaw and nodded to indicate she understood. He dragged his toe through the dust again and she clenched her fists at her sides.

_Two hours…_

Toph was more than a formidable opponent but Zuko still berated himself as he walked the few steps to his uncle's door. His chest and left arm throbbed so painfully that he could barely think past the screaming of his nerves. He could only hope that Sokka's kidnappers were not benders and be grateful that he had Toph on his side. The blind earthbender walked quickly to her set of rented rooms, keeping separate from the Fire Lord in order to keep up appearances. They would meet again under the cover of darkness once each had managed to sneak away from their personal guards.

The ransom note had demanded that Zuko come alone, however cliché, and Zuko planned to deceive the kidnappers into believing that he'd done just that. Because he could not be sure who of his guards were on his side and who weren't, he would make it seem like he set out alone in case any of them were watching and unwilling to protect him.

His uncle was waiting patiently in the front room of the apartment, only the stern set of his jaw belying his understanding of the grim situation. Zuko waited until only his uncle could see him before he reached over to clutch his left shoulder with his right hand in an attempt to ease his agony. Iroh grimaced at his nephew's obvious discomfort but made no effort to coddle the young man. Zuko eased himself onto the floor and looked to the older man who immediately retrieved a bucket of water and a ladle from the small cooking nook.

"You think I'm being foolish." It was a statement, not a question, but Iroh shook his head in answer anyway.

"I cannot deny that I wish there were a safer way to reconcile this situation but I do not judge your decision, Nephew. There does not seem to be an alternative. You have faced worse and prevailed, Zuko. I have no doubt you will do so again."

Zuko offered his uncle a grateful yet weak smile as he drank deeply from the offered ladle. It took him a few long minutes before he felt that he could ease his posture and release his arms. He settled into the lotus position and bowed his head, focusing on breathing deeply. Iroh realized his nephew's intention and removed the water, silently replacing it with a single lit candle.

He stood back and watched for a brief moment, his heart heavy with worry for the boy he'd for so long thought of as a son. Zuko had done well hiding his inner turmoil since receiving and reading the ransom letter but there were small signs, things that only those who knew him well would notice, that spoke of his pain. His hands had trembled as he'd read the demanding words aloud and his voice had been thick. Only Iroh and Toph had been in the room but Zuko had still maintained as much of his composure as he could, unwilling to break, even in front of those closest to him.

Iroh recalled the entire scene from the night before clearly and his ire rose with the image as the flames rose and fell with Zuko's breath.

"_So what's with the goon patrol? Someone try to off you again, Princess?"_

_Zuko stiffened noticeably before unconsciously raising his right hand and allowing it to hover over his heart. He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't formulate a sensible response. _

"_Toph?"_

"_Well obviously… and I thought _I_ was the blind one." She smirked and waited for Zuko's inevitable stuttering or, very possibly, furious response but it never came. Her face fell and she took a step forward._

"_Zuko? Iroh? What's going on?"_

_Iroh sighed sadly and returned to his tea, pouring separate cup for the earthbender. Zuko stood frozen in the center of the room, clearly trying to come up with an explanation for the situation without incriminating himself or the tribesman. _

"_There has been another assassination attempt." Iroh began as Toph roughly brushed past the immobile firebender and took the seat he had previously occupied. "Zuko was injured but he was fortunate."_

_Zuko returned to the table, his shoulders drooping almost imperceptibly, and began to smooth out the now almost illegible note. Iroh watched him, chest tight with anxiety, before continuing to speak._

"_Zuko was fortunate because the young Water Tribesman was there to intervene and prevent fatal injury. He was able to administer to Zuko's wound quite promptly."_

"_He saved my life." Zuko spoke so softly his voice was barely above a whisper but it was heard all the same._

_Toph's eyes widened. "Sokka? Sokka's _here_?"_

_Iroh was planning to speak, to lay out the current situation delicately. He worried for the earthbender's feelings and the safety of his tea shop should she react badly. It was Zuko who spoke first though._

"_He's gone." Zuko's eyes were trained on the parchment in front of him, his hands were trembling, and his skin had lost any trace of color._

"_Gone? Well that's just great. He doesn't leave the South Pole for four years and then he comes to see _you _first? After everything we've been through? And then he leaves without even contacting me? Jerk." She crossed her arms over her chest and glowered, hesitating before offering up a begrudging wave of her hand as an afterthought when Zuko flinched. "No offense, Zuko."_

"_No… He- he's been taken… kidnapped."_

"_What!"_

_Iroh winced as he felt the table jostle and tried not to worry over his floor. He did not know what the letter said so he could not offer much insight on this particular part of the story but he could tell by his nephew's face that the news was bad._

"_They've got him." His trembling hands curled into fists. "They're demanding that I bring five thousand gold pieces to a storehouse east of the rice paddies in between the walls tomorrow night. The letter says I must go alone or… or they'll kill him."_

"_Oh Sokka…"_

_Iroh's heart sank. He had been expecting this but it did not make it any easier to bear. "Nephew, if you go…"_

"_They'll kill us both. I know."_

"_What do you mean? Why Sokka?"_

_Zuko sighed, his voice thick with despair. "He's been staying with me for over a month. The kidnappers seem to think he's my lover." _

_The words were forced and stilted and true, so very true. Zuko swallowed audibly against telling the other two exactly the terms that had been used to describe the tribesman in the ransom note. He knew they'd referred to Sokka as his whore and concubine just to enrage him and further push him into doing something stupid and he didn't want to degrade his lover further by repeating the words._

_Toph's eyes widened considerably. She could hear the change in Zuko's voice, how quiet and unsure he sounded. She could tell that he was keeping something from her. His heart beat was erratic and his breathing was labored and the way his breath had hitched when he'd said the word lover told her that she wasn't getting the full story._

_The tea in her cup sloshed violently over the edges as she slammed it on the table as realization dawned on her._

"_You _are_ lovers!" _

_Zuko flinched at the volume of her voice and Iroh wondered at how much paler his nephew's face could get. Zuko waited for her shocked outburst to continue, this was Toph after all, but she simply stared sightlessly at the table and focused on the vibrations she could feel coming from the young man._

"_You love him."_

_Her voice was quiet and understanding and Zuko was completely unprepared for the observation. He choked slightly and flushed, color returning to his cheeks at an alarming rate._

"_I…I… uh…"_

_Her smirk returned at Zuko's hedging and she rubbed her hands together in malicious delight. "So how are we going to get Snoozles back? I need to hear all the juicy details and I know I'm not gonna get em from you."_

_Zuko seemed to be practicing imitating a rainbow with the deep shade of purple he was currently turning._

"_Juicy detai… ugh." His voice rose to nearly a squeak before he buried his head in his hands. The details of his relationship were not important. Sokka's safety was all that was important. "I don't know what to do. I just want to get him back."_

"_You cannot put yourself into danger, Nephew." Iroh placed a warm hand on Zuko's shoulder._

"_Well we've gotta do something! How did you free Aang that one time?"_

_Zuko raised his head in surprise. "What are you talking about?" He knew of course, but he didn't know how she knew._

"_At the Western Air Temple, when you were trying to join the group, Aang told us how you freed him one time from Zhao… whoever that was."_

_Zuko bristled visibly at the mention of Zhao but he brushed away the bad feeling that came over him like so much dust on a shelf. "The Blue Spirit… But that was in my past. I'm not that person anymore."_

"You _were the… oh never mind. Look here Sparky. As weird as it is for me to say this, your boyfriend is in trouble so you're just gonna have to man up and figure out a way to get him out of it."_

_Zuko's expression hardened into fierce determination only after he cringed at the word boyfriend. _

"_You're right."_

"_That's the spirit!" She smiled widely and reached over the table to punch him roughly in the shoulder, nearly knocking him out of his chair._

The meditation helped to ease his physical pain as well as focus his thoughts. The plan was terrifying in its simplicity but he was desperate and he wasn't the plan guy… Sokka was. Zuko took one final deep breath before opening his eyes and extinguishing the flames. He tried to ignore the flutters in his stomach as he dressed. He wasn't afraid for himself. He rarely gave himself enough time to be nervous before he acted. But he was afraid for Sokka. He had no idea what the boy had been through.

Zuko had no way of knowing what state he would find the tribesman in or if Sokka would want to see him at all. If it weren't for him the younger man wouldn't even be in this position. He wouldn't be surprised if Sokka blamed him. He would be surprised if he didn't.

The sun had set below the hills by the time he'd come out of his meditation and he could clearly see the moon illuminating the buildings of the upper ring. He could vaguely see the outline of the inner wall in the darkness and his heart ached. In less than an hour he would be crossing that barrier and he would get Sokka back, whatever it took.

The black clothes that he'd pulled out of his bag weren't the same as the ones he'd originally worn as the Blue Spirit but they were close and the point was that they be dark and hard to distinguish from the shadows. He draped a dark cloak over his shoulders and pulled the hood over his head so that it hid his face and made the scar indistinguishable from the rest of his face before sliding the small window of his room open and swinging a leg over the edge.

There was a convenient trellis extending from the window to the ground that would allow him to scale the wall fairly easily and silently. He scanned the surrounding area and breathed a sigh of relief as it became clear that there was no one in sight. There was a dull ache still attacking his chest as he braced himself against the trellis but he forced it to the back of his mind. The trellis shook slightly beneath his weight but his movements were quick and practiced and his feet were on the ground before the wood could so much as groan.

Iroh appeared at the open window and only spared his partially hidden nephew a brief glance before he closed it. Their eyes met even in the shadows and an unspoken understanding passed between them. Zuko nodded once in acknowledgment of his uncle's silent message and turned away. Sticking to the shadows he raced across the small courtyard that housed his uncle's apartment and tea shop, his eyes focused on the designated meeting place that he and Toph had agreed upon. A small out of the way shop a ways down the street that wouldn't be open this late in the evening and wouldn't stick out to either of their contingents of guards.

He didn't see the young earthbender as he approached but he had no doubt that she was able to get away, even if she'd been forced to encase all of her guards in stone he knew that she would. There was nothing either of them wouldn't do for Sokka.

He had to admit that it felt good to move like this, to push his body to its limits of stealth. There was a level of power in the movements, knowing that although he was in plain sight no one could see him. No one who could actually _see_ that is.

He slipped the hood off of his head as he slunk into the darkness behind the small shop and looked around for his accomplice.

"Toph?" He whispered. "_Toph! To-ow!"_ He winced and ducked too late as a small rock hit him upside the head.

"Will you be quiet, Sparky! I thought the point was to _not_ draw attention."

Toph suddenly stood before him, hands folded across her chest and trademark smirk on her face.

"How much time do we have?" She questioned, unable to see the moon's position in the sky.

"Enough. If we move quickly we should get to the rendezvous point before they'll be expecting me. That should give us time to assess the situation."

"Right. Let's do this." She smiled and ground her fist into an open palm and Zuko couldn't help but allow a small smile to creep across his lips as well. Toph's aggressive optimism seemed to be contagious and caused a tickle of hope to swell in his chest. If all went well he would have Sokka back in his arms by the morning and that idea alone prevented him from imagining all of the things that could go wrong.

The streets of the upper ring were quickly being deserted as the night hour grew later and the pair did not have to worry about hiding away in the shadows for the most part. Zuko kept his eyes trained on the ramparts of the walls as they edged closer, looking for a break in the guards wide enough for them to go unnoticed as they slipped through.

"This would be so much easier if there were gates in this wall…" He grumbled as they approached an area that he had deemed to be a small blind spot for the guards.

"There _are_ gates." Toph deadpanned as she locked in her stance and prepared to bend the wall.

"I meant gates that aren't made out of stone and don't take an entire army to open."

"Of course. And what should they be made out of, hmm Princess? Wood? Metal?" She moved her feet lightly across the ground and raised her arms as she spoke. "Fear not citizens of Ba Sing Se, for the Fire Nation cannot possibly break through our gates that burn and melt." Toph accentuated her sarcasm by pulling a large chunk of stone out of the wall, creating a hole just big enough for a person to crawl through at the base of the wall.

Zuko just barely dodged the heavy rock as Toph seemed to purposefully send it in his direction.

"Watch it!"

"Oh I'm sorry. Were you standing there? Blind ya know." She sank to her knees and crawled through the hole without waiting for a response from the young man. He sighed and followed her wincing slightly as the jagged edges of the tunnel dragged along his body. The space had been a perfect fit for Toph, not quite so for him.

They emerged on the other side and found themselves staring over a vast expanse of farmland, flat and never ending. Zuko looked around blindly for a second before he caught the moonlight glinting off what had to be water maybe a mile away. They'd come out at exactly the right spot.

He readjusted his cloak, making sure the hood completely disguised his face and waited as Toph made a haphazard effort to patch up their tunnel. To anyone looking it would go unnoticed but it would be easily broken down in case they needed to make a quick escape back into the city.

"Are you ready?" He asked quietly.

"Are you kidding? I was born ready." Zuko found himself smiling at the girl who seemed to sense it and returned the expression with vigor. "Snoozles is tough. He'll be okay."

"Yea. Yea he is."

They split up, Zuko making an obvious path towards the tiny speck of a storage building that he could see in the distance. He took heavy steps that felt unnatural but would draw attention to him and keep it away from Toph. She snuck lightly through the taller plants that masked her presence and headed for the back of the small building, intending to come up behind the group as the "exchange" took place. The kidnappers would think Zuko alone and be completely unprepared for the greatest earthbender in the world to ambush them from behind.

He had a sack of pebbles tied to his belt, just in case he got to the point where he had to pretend he'd brought the money, but he hoped that by having Toph on the outskirts of the meeting there would be no need for further theatrics.

He could see fresh wheel tracks on the path that he was walking, illuminated in the moonlight. He was right on their heels. The storehouse was becoming clearer in his sight when he heard a loud shout and what sounded like a scuffle in the distance. Heart hammering in his chest he broke into a run and raced towards the sounds.

_No no no._

He could make out the shadows of two men moving erratically around the rice and his throat threatened to close with fear. He searched frantically for a third shadow but there was no one. Zuko rationalized quickly that the young man could be inside the building or in the cart that he could see parked next to it but something deep within him told him that wasn't the case. Something had gone wrong and Sokka was missing, he could feel it. He refused to allow himself to think that the tribesman might be dead.

He approached the figures without caution, flames licking the bare skin of his shaking fists, threatening to burn anything that blocked his path. He clenched his teeth as he spoke, his voice coming out as a guttural growl.

"_Where. Is. He."_

* * *

**Merry Christmas!!**


	15. The Rice Paddies

**Oh geez... I am such a failure. It's been a month and three days since I updated this story. I'm horrible and I've probably lost readers and I am so so sorry. I've just been busy and not feeling well and fanfiction kind of fell to the wayside the past few weeks. Hopefully this chapter makes up for the last one being shitty and this one being so ungodly late and the next one is ALL porn so it shouldn't take too long to get out, because if you guys have have read my stuff you know how much I like to write porn. So again I fail, I'm sorry, enjoy.**

"_Where. Is. He?"_

This wasn't supposed to be happening. The war was _over_, the nations were at peace. Zuko had singlehandedly destroyed his own chances at a happy life trying to do whatever he could for _them_, his people and the people his forefathers had wronged, that _he'd_ wronged. This wasn't right. It wasn't fair. But when had it ever been?

It hadn't been fair when Sokka's mother died and his father left. It hadn't been fair when Aang discovered the remains of the closest thing he'd ever had to a father, left sitting for a hundred years after he'd lost his life to the Fire Nation. When Yue gave up her life to become the moon and save the world. Countless times. Fair didn't exist in his world. It definitely didn't exist in Zuko's.

He could barely make out the shadowy shape of the man, who shouldn't have been there, through the night and the mud that was covering his skin and dripping across his eyes. But he could hear him. That low, rough voice seething with anger and hatred and honor, _of course_ fucking honor, carried across the empty field to his ears as easily as if the boy had been yelling.

Damn him!

His head hurt. His ribs ached. His vision was blurred and he couldn't quite catch his breath. But he couldn't give up yet. He willed his body to move. He strained against his own muscles, desperate to get over to the confrontation because, yes, Jumpy _had_ helped him to escape _most likely_ but Sokka couldn't actually pretend to know what such a skittish guy would do in this situation and therefore it was two against one and Zuko was injured so he was really more like a half… well maybe more like three fourths because he was still a firebender and a really angry one at that and…

_Shit! Focus!_

He tried to think of the symptoms of shock and if incoherent rambling thoughts were amongst them but he still felt as if Appa had sat on him and then maybe done a little jig on his crumpled body and sat right back down again, so he figured that he was still in the clear, because the whole point of going into shock was to spare the body from the pain right?

"If you return him now, _safe and alive_, I will be sure you keep your lives despite your attack on mine."

_Oh no… no, no, no Zuko. Bad move, buddy. Don't try to be diplomatic right now._

"I'm afraid that I can't do that… right now. You see, the captive is… somewhat _indisposed_ at the moment. But I give you my word that he's still alive."

"You expect me to accept the word of a kidnapper and an assassin? If you _don't_ present him, _right now_, I'll have your heads. Both of you."

Zuko's voice had gotten lower and yet it was somehow stronger, firmer. It was like silk, black silk, liquid black silk… wait, _liquid silk_? Maybe some of those head shots had done a little more damage that he'd originally thought. Either way, the firebender sounded serious and more than a little bit like he actually meant what he was saying. He sounded like the old Zuko with a healthy dose of Azula thrown in and that was definitely unsettling, even with Sokka's current inability to think straight.

"You heard our _righteous_ ruler… go fetch the captive."

The figures were still somewhat hidden by the shadows but Sokka could see one, the smaller shaky one, stumbling backwards, almost as if _he_ were in shock, and then he was sprinting in his direction.

_Shit, shit, shit._

Sokka struggled with his boomerang and, out of desperation, was able to force himself to begin frantically attempting to slice the ropes that still bound his wrists. At least Jumpy still seemed out of his element, that was a good thing because it meant that the guard might either try to help him again or there was still a chance, albeit slight, that Sokka could take him. He really, _really_ hoped it would end up the former.

He almost didn't catch the next words out of Fists' mouth but the air was still and since the only sounds were faltering footsteps on dirt and a sharp blade against twine, the darker voice of the two speaking was still strong enough to carry.

"Unfortunately I don't know if he'll manage to bring the little whore back. It's a pity, I'm going to be out quite a bit of money if he doesn't. I was going to get a lot for him… in the _pleasure quarters."_

Suddenly the entire area was brilliantly lit, almost as if the sun had randomly decided to rise before its proper time. Sokka looked up, startled, and realized very quickly why. Zuko's hands were fisted and shaking with rage in front of his body and they were on fire and not just the normal 'I'm warning you I'm a firebender' fire but _fire. _Sokka had seen Zuko firebend before and it was always an incredible sight but the older boy was usually shooting the flames, quick and hot, from his fists, not just _holding_ them there.

"My generosity has limits."

"As does my patience. It seems this little kidnapping ruse has failed so I've no longer any need to play nice with you. Fortunately for me you're no killer."

Sokka watched in horror as Fists, no longer in shadow, drew a dagger from a hidden pocket in his pants and let it fly towards the young Fire Lord.

"Zuko!"

Sokka blinked in surprise. His mouth had been open in preparation to yell out a warning of his own but that had definitely not been his voice. It was high and feminine and _really_ familiar.

Zuko was already diving out of the way when the warning rang through the air. He rolled to his feet as gracefully as if he'd never been injured at all and was drawing his own blades before he'd even come to a stop.

"I'm fine. Find Sokka!"

"So, not as honorable as you seem? You have your own accomplice when I gave you explicit instructions to come alone and you brought a _girl_ to save a man, well… a boy. You must truly have a death wish."

Zuko had extinguished his flames when he'd dodged the knife so the two combatants were no longer as clear but whatever clouds had been blocking Yue's light seemed to disperse at the same time that his wrists snapped free of their bindings.

"What do _you_ know of honor?"

Fists smirked, Sokka couldn't exactly _see _it but it was obvious in his voice, as he reached behind himself and his fingers closed around the shining hilt of a full sword. Sick realization hit Sokka hard in the stomach as the length of the blade came into view. It was _his_ sword. Zuko was being attacked with _his_ sword.

He heard the clang of metal hitting metal only after the swords had already clashed before his eyes, trapping his heart between them. Zuko growled, at least he thought it was Zuko, and used his upper body to forcibly push Fists away. It was practically imperceptible but Sokka thought he saw Zuko favoring his left side as he hopped backwards.

He needed to go. He _needed_ to help. But his body wouldn't listen, wouldn't _move_. His muscles were locking up with exhaustion and nothing his brain tried to convey to his nerves seemed to be connecting. Worse than not being able to help Zuko were the footsteps he could hear edging increasingly closer to his location. He wasn't _that_ well hidden. The rice was short and the water was too shallow to truly hide his entire body.

If he couldn't move, couldn't defend himself, he could only hope that the mud covering his already brown skin would give him enough camouflage in the dark.

"Sokka! Sokka!" It was the girl's voice, the familiar one. It was a little more of a hiss than a yell but he could tell the girl was close and not creating the footsteps that he could hear. They were too heavy and too worried. Jumpy was getting closer too.

"Sokka! I know you're there, I can _feel_ you but… there's too much water. I can't… you have to help me find you."

"T-Toph?" His voice cracked from disuse and came out as a croak but she seemed to hear him. He tried to turn around, to see where she was coming from, but he was just too tired and the water, he suddenly became aware, was cold. Had it been this cold the whole time? It wouldn't be too bad if he lay down… just for a second, then he'd be able to get up and fight. Maybe just a minute… He only moved slightly, just a small shift of his body against the silt beneath him but it was enough.

There was a sudden and massive splash next to his head and suspiciously strong arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders just before his head could hit the water. His reflexes were shot and his body relaxed into the grip instead of tensing and trying to pull away. There was no guarantee that this was the earthbender, his _friend_. It could have easily been Jumpy and there was nothing that he could do but then that same sweet voice was whispering against his hair and those arms were squeezing him so tightly that he actually squeaked out the protest that his cracked ribs and sore muscles were _screaming_ inside.

"Are you okay? Sokka? Talk to me… please."

"H-hurts… Toph. Let go."

She released him slightly, enough to ease the pressure on his ribs but then her hands were under his arms and she was dragging him out of the marsh and, _holy shit_, he'd forgotten that his shoulders hurt that much. He couldn't even begin to attempt to stifle the groans that forced their way past his lips.

"I'm sorry Sokka but there's too much water. This is the only way I can get you out."

"S'okay, just… ow, okay lemme go. I can move."

She dropped him rather unceremoniously on the ground after she'd gotten him out of the water but she was on her knees by his side before he could voice a complaint and her arms were around him again and this time he allowed himself to relax against her and truly look at her. Her chest was shaking against his shoulder and he could see tears glinting at the corners of her eyes.

"Hey," he managed to rasp, reaching up slowly and painfully to wipe her cheek with his knuckle, "when did you get all pretty?"

She chuckled through her tears and tightened her grip just a little too much again. "It's been four years you big idiot. I'd punch you… to show you how much I've missed you, ya know, but you're probably injured enough."

"Yea thanks. I missed you too. I'm sorry."

Toph went rigid against him and he almost thought he'd upset her somehow and then his little euphoric break from the world came crashing down and he remembered where he was. The footsteps reached his ears long after Toph had felt them and was already rising to her feet.

"No!" She cried, whipping around and fisting her hands in front of her body, shifting her weight ever so slightly and throwing a wall of dirt towards the approaching enemy. There was a quick flash of fire but it was quickly snuffed by the cascading grains of soil. So Jumpy was a firebender… that was news.

Toph twisted one ankle and slid it across the dirt and before Sokka had even managed to get his hands underneath himself the ground had opened up and all but swallowed Jumpy whole. When Toph relaxed her stance Jumpy was buried up to his neck in soil and he looked positively stricken. Sokka honestly didn't know if he felt bad for the man or if he hated him. Boomerang or not, Jumpy had played an equally large part in this entire fiasco. The man was a coward, a pathetic coward who never deserved the honor of standing by someone as great as Zuko. It was pity that Sokka felt for him now, not sympathy, definitely not empathy, just pity.

A howl of pain in the distance had Sokka pushing himself to his feet despite the screaming pain ripping through his body. He grabbed the hand that Toph offered him and they were running towards Zuko, fear and worry tattooing a staccato beat against their chests.

* * *

Zuko caught the blade that was slicing through the air towards the crown of his head between his blades, crossing them in front of his face and holding the offending sword at bay. He kicked and smirked as his foot made solid contact with his opponent's chest, sending him flying backwards.

The assassin caught himself without falling and twisted the sword in his hands.

"You're weak."

Zuko didn't respond, merely curling his lip upwards in a snarl and bracing himself, ever ready for the attack. He couldn't force himself to go on the offensive, afraid of opening himself up to his opponent. He _was_ weak. His shoulder and chest screamed in protest of his movements, of the stress he was putting on his body just by holding a sword in his left hand. This battle held none of the grace and beauty of his clash with Jet, that had been beautiful, nor did it bleed fire and determination like his fight in that tiny Earth Kingdom village. All he had now was simple desperation and raw skill.

He was tired, he was sore, he was broken-hearted, and he was desperate not to lose everything all over again. Even if Sokka left him after this, even if he still ended up alone, he needed to know that he'd at least saved Sokka's chances for happiness. He'd be happy as long as the people that he loved were happy, if it was all he could do.

The assassin growled and lunged for him, sword point straight out and aiming for his gut. He inhaled shortly and sidestepped the attack, using his left hand to catch the blade and force it upwards while he spun and caught his opponent across the back with his right. His shoulder jarred as the blades made contact but he pointedly ignored it.

The assassin snarled in pain but used his momentum to dive and roll, coming up before Zuko had completely finished his movement and blindly swinging towards the Fire Lord's midsection. Zuko just barely had time to arch his back as the point of the blade nicked his clothes, missing his skin by the width of a hair. He stumbled backwards, graceless, and tried to even out his breathing.

"Weak."

Zuko didn't register the man's hand reaching towards his boot as he tried to calm his erratic heartbeat. He kept his eyes focused on the sword that was arcing towards his right arm and he moved to block it with his left, leaving his back open to the man's right hand and the knife that was hidden within it. Only when he felt the ripping burn of the metal slicing through his skin just beneath his shoulder blade did he realize the sword had been a distraction and he'd fallen for it. _Weak._

He forced himself to twist around, ignoring his agony for the benefit of the movement. The assassin lost his grip on the knife leaving it embedded only halfway into Zuko's flesh. Zuko barely registered the howl of pain that tore from his throat as he staggered forward, dropping his left sword and contorting his body so that he could get a weak grip on the hilt of the knife and pull it free.

* * *

Sokka tried to yell out Zuko's name as he struggled to run towards the battle. It was a short distance but his legs gave out and he stumbled more than once, forced to lean more of his weight than he wanted to on the girl next to him who'd slipped an arms around his ribs and was doing her best to drag him along.

Zuko's left arm hung listlessly by his side, good for nothing, forcing him to do his best to block the attacks of his opponent with only his right blade. He struggled to call flames to his fingers but he couldn't focus and they would only come in flickers and wisps. He was failing. After everything he'd been through, after everything he'd done, after all the odds he'd beaten…

"Zuko!" Sokka fell to his knees once he and Toph reached the duel and he gasped out the firebender's name.

Zuko looked over, his eyes catching the moonlight and seeming to glint with renewed vigor.

"Sokka…"

Fists' faltered and turned, a maniacal grin spreading across his face.

"So the little whore has come back. Ready to watch your lover die, brat?"

Then he laughed and Sokka watched in horror as he raised the sword for the kill shot. Toph jumped up from his side but the blade was already moving and there was nothing she could do without hurting Zuko too and so she stood, helpless, fists clenched but the earth unmoving.

No one was prepared for the bark of relieved laughter that Zuko let out. It was out of character, something that would have sounded more in place coming from his sister or his father but it was coming from Zuko and it was enough to stop the assassin in his tracks for a moment so brief it could have gone unnoticed. But it didn't. Suddenly a cloud of fire escaped Zuko's open mouth and his right hand was alight with flame that ran the length of his sword and glared brightly in the night sky as he swung upward and caught the assassin in the chest.

It wasn't a death blow but it was damaging and it knocked Fists' onto his back, giving Toph enough time to encase his wrists and ankles in the bent metal of Sokka's sword while Zuko staggered to Sokka's side and fell to his knees, leaning hard against the tribesman and nuzzling his neck.

Sokka didn't care that Zuko was on his bad side, that he was putting unneeded pressure on his cracked ribs, he didn't care because it was Zuko and it wasn't a dream.

"You're okay." It was muffled against his skin but Sokka understood and he choked back a sob of relief.

"Yea I am… but you look like shit."

"Idiot."

Then Zuko tilted his head upwards and wrapped his good arm around Sokka's waist and crashed their lips together. Sokka melted into the embrace, allowing Zuko's warmth to bleed through his frozen muscles and forgetting that Toph and an angry assassin were barely five feet away.

"I love you." Zuko whispered against his lips and Sokka's heart soared.

"Yea, me too."

"Ahem. Sorry to interrupt this little reunion boys but we've got some wannabe assassins to deal with here."

Toph had her arms crossed over her chest as she tapped her foot and tried to look impatient in their general direction but the soft smile on her lips gave her away.

Sokka found himself smiling back before realization kicked in and his heart plummeted.

_Shit!_

"Toph, shit… I…"

"Save it, Snoozles. Your boyfriend's a bad liar even when he's not talking. Now let's get this show on the road so you can give me all the details somewhere warm and dry and with food."

Sokka felt his eyes water with overwhelming relief and gratitude as his stomach grumbled loudly in response.

"F-food?"

"All you can eat. Whatever you want." Zuko whispered against his ear and he struggled to lift them both to their feet.

"Meat?"

"Whatever you want."

Sokka whimpered and nearly fell to his knees again.

"I love you guys."


	16. The Love Between Them

Zuko sat on the floor in the steaming bath house, legs folded, eyes closed, breathing in the hot, wet air. He needed to clean his wounds, not allow them to fester in jungle humidity but he couldn't bring himself to slip beneath the surface of the sunken reservoir and he refused to allow anyone to touch him. He couldn't reach the knife wound in his back on his own but at the moment he didn't care. He needed some peace, some quiet, finally some time to think.

It had taken their rag tag little team most of the rest of the night to get back to the upper ring with their captives. The guards atop the inner wall had finally taken notice of them, conveniently well after their interference would have actually been useful, as they tried to pass back through. The task was a million times more difficult with their added cargo and the rescued captive who had by no means lost his ability to avidly complain. Of course, both of his companions were too weary themselves and too happy to have him back to say anything to him about it.

After Zuko had proven his identity and firmly asserted that the two men bound with metal restraints and currently lying unconscious; courtesy of the butt of one of Zuko's blades in Sokka's hand, poetic justice he'd called it; in the bed of the very wagon they'd used to transport the tribesman, were Fire Nation prisoners and would be dealt with accordingly and some very intimidating earthbending on Toph's part, they had finally managed to get past the wall and back into the city just as the sky began to lighten. The entire thing had been a horrendous ordeal, one that was too reminiscent of those long four years before the end of the war, and Zuko felt incredibly selfish every time that he thought about how he'd go through the entire thing again if it meant having Sokka by his side.

An obnoxious scuffle outside of the room broke his concentration and he immediately scowled in the direction of the door. It wasn't locked and the image of a platoon of crimson clad guards forcing their way through it invaded his mind, entirely unwelcome. What he received instead was entirely more pleasant.

"Thank you for the help my good man. If you would be so kind as to open this door for me, I believe I can manage from here."

"I… really… His Lordship has requested that he not be disturbed… by _anyone."_

"His _Lordship_? Hahaha. That's precious… _you_ are just precious." Zuko's eyes widened and he marveled at the door. It was unbelievable what feeding the boy could do for Sokka's morale. It was as if he'd never been kidnapped at all.

"Anyway, I assure you that my name is _Sokka_ not Anyone and therefore Zuko could not possibly have been talking about me so if you'll just kindly move out of the way…"

Zuko couldn't help but smile. Life could wait for a little while longer.

He stood and draped a thin robe over his shoulders, loosely tying it closed before opening the door. The guard startled visibly at his sudden appearance but Sokka merely looked smug and _filthy._ Somehow Zuko hadn't realized that the other hadn't bathed yet either even though he really hadn't had a chance to. Zuko had gone directly to the bathhouse after they'd eaten and they'd eaten directly after returning.

It had been an amusing sight to watch the tribesman wincing nearly every five seconds as he forced a multitude of different foods past his swollen lips, as he swallowed it down his bruised throat, as he stretched his cracked ribs to reach a different plate, but nothing stopped him. Sokka's only care in the world had been to make up for three days of starvation in less than thirty minutes.

"I'm s-sorry to disturb you, Sir, but…"

Zuko waved a hand at his guard, effectively quieting the man. He stepped away from the door frame to allow Sokka entrance and allowed a small smile to grace his lips.

"Told you." Sokka huffed at the unfortunate man, throwing back his shoulders and straightening his spine in an attempt to look larger than his frame normally allowed. He fell short of menacing with a wounded squeak when his posture strained his ribs and the guard ducked forward quickly to help catch him before he could fall.

"I'm fine!" He swatted at the soldier's helping hands and used the doorframe to pull himself into the bathhouse. "Go away, go. Go." He shooed the concerned guard away with his hands and schooled his features into a stern expression that looked more comical than serious on his battered face.

When he turned back to Zuko, after bolting the door, he'd returned his expression to one of relaxed happiness though the injuries to his features still caused Zuko's heart to constrict painfully. He reached out a hand to trace a particularly mottled purple bruise on the tribesman's cheekbone but Sokka grabbed his hand and held it away from his face.

"Hey. I'm fine. I need a bath though. Even Toph said I was filthy and you know how _she_ is. She thinks everyone is better off with a healthy layer of dirt on their skin."

"You do look horrible." Zuko affirmed without really thinking, nodding his head in agreement. Sokka turned as much of a pout as he could muster with his swollen lips on the firebender as he began to untie the knot of his belt.

"Ouch. Don't spare my feelings or anything."

"Heh… I'm sorry. I'm just… I'm tired. That's all." Zuko edged closer to the other warrior, allowing his fingertips, already puckering from the humidity, to brush along the muscles of his back, leaving muddy lines of moisture in the layer of caked on dirt that coated his skin. Sokka shivered at the touch but didn't pull away.

"_You're_ tired! I fully intend to sleep for days after this bath. You better get your fill of these baby blues right now," he said, indicating his eyes, "because once I close them you won't be seeing them for a good long while."

Zuko placed his palm flat against Sokka's skin, slipping across the small of his back to cup his hip and lightly running the pad of his thumb across the edge of the tanned boy's hipbone. "Sokka."

He lifted his hand just enough to let the fabric beneath it fall away once the tribesman had finished loosening his belt and felt his breath hitch once the younger man was fully bared before him. The thin robe he was wearing was barely a barrier between the two and it took all of Zuko's strength to keep even the slightest distance between them.

Despite his injuries and his exhaustion, Sokka was perfectly attuned to the tension in Zuko's body and his own body readily responded. He covered the hand that Zuko had laid upon his hip with his own and even he was surprised at how husky his voice sounded when he spoke again.

"Help me?"

"Help you?" Zuko's breath brushed against his ear, his voice low and genuinely confused. Sokka chuckled and turned slowly, keeping his arms low so as not to put any undo strain on his ribs. Zuko placed both hands lightly on Sokka's hips, thumbs resting on the soft swell beneath his hipbones. Sokka fiddled with the sash of Zuko's robe and buried his face in the curve of the firebender's neck. An electric thrill shot through the both of them when Sokka's naked erection brushed lightly against Zuko's barely clothed one, ripping a shuddered gasp of arousal from Zukos chest.

"I'm injured." He whined.

Zuko chuckled nervously. "So am I."

"Then we can help each other." Sokka whispered and turned his head so that he could meet Zuko's eyes. The firebender felt a snake of lust coil tightly, low in his belly and his grip on the tribesman's hips tightened almost painfully when a foreign hand slipped into his robe and brushed against his already aching member.

"Sokka." He moaned with barely enough inflection to make it more than a breath. "Sokk… Sokka wait."

A hurt look crossed Sokka's face when Zuko lightly pushed him away and it took everything the young Fire Lord had to keep from pulling the boy back and never letting him go.

"Sokka… we need to talk."

The tribesman looked down sheepishly but he didn't release his grip on Zuko's sash.

"I know. I was just kind of hoping that we could, you know, talk once we're clean."

Zuko felt his heart leap into his chest.

"You _know_?" He stiffened and couldn't hide the obvious alarm in his eyes. He couldn't fathom how Sokka could be so calm.

Sokka looked up at him quizzically, his usually clear blue eyes storming with amusement and confusion.

"Well yea… I mean, there's some stuff we need to deal with… obviously… but I just kind of thought it could wait… It's not like you're going back to the Fire Nation right this second."

"You mean… talk about where you're going to do now…"

"Well yea. What else would I have meant?" Sokka furrowed his brows and studied Zuko's face. His fingers never left the silk knot keeping Zuko's body covered but he didn't make any further effort to undo it.

"Sokka, I… I should have told you before…"

Zuko could feel the tribesman tensing beneath his palms, bracing himself for what couldn't possibly be good news and he felt the rest of his speech catch in his throat. He could feel the words turning to bile before they even reached his mouth. Images of how Sokka would react, of him storming away in anger or in despair, flashed through Zuko's mind and he couldn't force himself to go on.

"Zuko?"

He looked at the boy before him and his heart swelled and he couldn't bring himself to destroy the hopeful look on Sokka's face.

"I love you." He whispered.

"Zuko… Not that I don't like hearing that but that's the second time you've said it today… I don't think I want to know what you're talking about…"

Zuko opened his mouth to try and force himself to get the words out but Sokka stopped him by pressing a palm against his lips.

"Zuko, please. I've been chained to a wall for days, starved, beaten, and almost raped. For about five minutes I thought I was going to have saved the world only to spend the rest of my life in a brothel. Whatever it is that you have to say. Whatever it is that's been so hard for you to talk about that you've kept it from me for this long. Just keep it to yourself for a little bit longer, okay? Just give me that right now."

"I think you might hate me if I do."

"I won't."

"You can't know that."

"Yes I can. I'll never hate you, no matter what. I might get mad at you and I might think that I hate you and you might think that I hate you but I won't. Never again."

Zuko chuckled but it was halfhearted. "Again?"

Sokka shrugged and flashed as much of a shit eating grin as he could muster at his lover. "You used to be a really big jerk, what can I say?" And then he closed his lips and pressed them firmly against an unsuspecting Zuko's and officially ended the discussion.

It was a short, close mouthed kiss but it made its point and it distracted the firebender long enough to allow the tribesman to make quick work of the loosely tied sash keeping his robe closed. Sokka instinctively knew to be careful as he gingerly slipped the crimson silk off of Zuko's body. It stuck to the tacky, clotted blood that had covered his fresher wound but only slightly and the tribesman was able to pull it away without too much discomfort to Zuko. Sokka ran his fingers over the wound lightly and cringed at the texture.

"Is it bad?" He asked, his voice failing him. Zuko smiled and shook his head.

"I've had worse." The fabric pooled at his feet and he pulled the warrior to him, engaging him in a deep kiss that had his erection making its presence known against Sokka's hip. He pulled away and sighed, creating space between their quickly overheating bodies. This wasn't the time for the behavior he was instigating. As much as Zuko may have wanted it, Sokka had been through an ordeal far worse than anything he'd probably experienced before and he didn't need Zuko making sexual advances toward him. He ignored the little whine of protest that the other boy made at the separation and turned away to face the pool of steaming water.

When Sokka gasped he turned back quickly, forcing himself to stay his expression and not wince at the shocks of pain that shot up and down his entire left side.

"What? What is it?"

"Your back. You said it wasn't that bad!"

"It's not. It just looks bad."

"Have you even seen it? That doesn't look _bad_, it looks… it looks… _Fuck_."

"I just need to wash it. I can't reach it." Zuko grit his teeth and turned around, stepping into the blissfully hot water before Sokka could say anything else. He hissed as his shoulders hit the water and the burning liquid stung his wound but the pain only lasted a second before the euphoria of the warmth surrounding him calmed his nerves.

He felt the water shift around him as Sokka settled into it, his moan of pleasure far more audible than any noise that had escaped Zuko's lips.

"I could get used to this." Sokka groaned, situating himself against the wall of the pool and leaning his head against the ground. Zuko tried to fight the flutter of hope that sprang up in his chest at those words. He had no right to ask the tribesman to come to the Fire Nation. He cursed the vulnerability that had allowed for him to make the suggestion in the first place.

Zuko sank lower in the water until only his eyes remained visible through the steam and Sokka gave him an easy smile. The tribesman was a bruised and broken mess but he could have been so much worse and it was only by his own strength that he wasn't. He was happy and he had regained just enough of that easygoing confidence that had gotten him through every other hardship he'd had to endure that he felt no reservations as he slid a slick hand over his own stomach and began to tease himself. He wasn't about to ignore what the firebender had done to him over a few bruises.

"Zuko… come here."

The Fire Lord raised his single brow and brought his head out of the water but made no move to close the distance between them.

"I don't think…"

"Good. Thinking's overrated." Sokka smirked and let out a breathy moan as he tightened his grip on himself. "Please."

It was too much to resist and even as Zuko berated himself for his selfishness and attempted to remind himself of the information he was keeping from the man he loved, he found himself swimming toward the now writhing warrior, his own erection painfully hard between his legs.

"Good boy." Sokka breathed and Zuko scowled at him

"Don't talk to me like a polar bear dog."

Sokka kissed him as soon as the firebender was close enough to reach, grasping his shoulders tightly to prevent him from moving away again. Before Zuko could open his mouth to deepen the kiss, Sokka moved his lips away and pressed them against Zuko's undamaged ear. His breath was hot and wet against the sensitive shell and the firebender shuddered with pleasure as the tribesman spoke.

"I wouldn't do this with a polar bear dog." He punctuated his statement by roughly pulling Zuko flush against his body and pressing his very apparent arousal against Zuko's own. The combination of heat and water and delicious friction was nearly enough to make Zuko come that second but somehow Sokka's hand had found its way from the firebender's shoulder to the base of his shaft and his fingers were pinching it in a way that stifled Zuko's impending orgasm. He barely had the sense to ask himself how the warrior knew to do that before the boy's entire hand was embracing the warm flesh of Zuko's shaft and his hands were wrapping themselves around Sokka's waist of their own accord.

Their mouths found each other again, this time hot and rough and brutally honest. There was no holding back. No time for injuries or dirt or untold secrets. This was raw and passionate and exactly what both men needed. They were both tired, exhausted and bone weary but they needed each other and after everything they'd been through, they would never take their together for granted again.

Zuko's right hand slid across Sokka's back until he could tangle it in the tribesman's hair, knotted and caked with mud, while his left rested on the swell of the darker boy's lower back. His fingertips danced dangerously close to the cleft between his cheeks but Zuko made no move to penetrate the younger man.

Alarm flashed in his eyes when Sokka pulled his mouth away and grasped Zuko's wrist with the hand that was not currently engaged in torturously stroking Zuko's member. Zuko feared that he'd managed to go too far even though he'd thought he was being careful but then Sokka smiled and the lust clouding his azure irises was strikingly apparent and Zuko had to close his mouth for fear he may start drooling.

"Zuko…" Sokka moaned as he guided Zuko's fingers to the exact taboo area they'd been too afraid to touch before. Zuko swallowed audibly and tightened his grip on Sokka's hair almost as a way to anchor himself against the tide of lust that was attempting to pull him under and drown him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He'd made this decision the second that Fists had threatened to take from him what should be his to give. He'd known he wanted to give himelf to Zuko then and he was going to go through with it now. He knew it wasn't going to be easy and that it would probably hurt but he wasn't about to be deterred.

There wasn't the time consuming exploration of their bodies that they'd allowed themselves before. They were too tired and broken for such indulgences. What they needed this time was to feel, as purely as possible, pain and pleasure alike. Sokka took control, licking his way down Zuko's pale neck as he urged the firebender to cross the line they'd only danced around until this moment.

The intrusion was abrupt but not so completely foreign. He was a clever boy after all and he'd never been averse to new experiences. He was still a virgin because he'd never been taken but he wasn't a_ virgin._ He grunted against Zuko's skin at the feeling of the single digit pressing inside of him and unconsciously squeezed the firebender's shaft. Zuko pressed deeper reflexively and Sokka pushed against him, pressing his back against the edge of the pool and shoving him into a seated position on a ledge he'd only just discovered was there.

Sokka dug his knees into the stone and straddled Zuko's lap, his thighs not quite quivering with the strain of the effort because of the buoyancy of the water. Sokka found Zuko's mouth again and invaded it with his tongue. It was a rough kiss that aggravated Sokka's cuts and bruises but he didn't stop. It was wonderful and _real_ and he never wanted it to end.

Zuko pressed another digit against Sokka's entrance and gasped as the tribesman squirmed against him and stroked him roughly. The two fingers inside of him burned but he found he didn't completely dislike it. It wasn't a horrible feeling though it was far from the pleasure he was hoping to experience. Zuko moved within him tentatively, afraid to cause him any excess pain.

A third finger caught him by surprise and he grunted into Zuko's mouth.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded and pressed down against Zuko's hand to emphasize his answer. Then he shook his head in conflict with his original affirmation. "I think… can you get out of the water?"

Zuko bit his lip as he pulled his fingers free and Sokka released his erection. He gingerly maneuvered himself to the lip of the pool and unconsciously spread his legs, making his straining erection all the more apparent. He noticed how the tribesman ran his tongue across his lips as he eyed the appendage and felt a blush creep across his already heated cheeks. He couldn't tell if Sokka's appraisal should be taken as a compliment or an insult, if he was large enough to cause the warrior pause… or not.

"There's oil… over there." He gestured to a small rack of vials against the closest wall and Sokka smiled before reaching for the closest one. He dipped his fingers inside and removed a generous amount of amber liquid that dripped from his fingers and landed on Zuko's thighs. It felt cool against his skin and he gasped. Sokka slathered Zuko's erection with the oil and tried to ignore the way that Zuko writhed below him.

When he felt that there was no more preparation that he could do, Sokka climbed out of the pool and situated himself above Zuko's lap. He wrapped one arm around Zuko's broad shoulders and the other around his ribs and dug his nails into the soft flesh of Zuko's back. He buried his face into the curve of Zuko's neck and bit down lightly before he began to lower himself.

It felt horrible at first, a blinding pain that threatened to split him in two and he couldn't stop the whimper that came out muffled by Zuko's shoulder.

"Sokka stop. We don't have to do this." But Sokka ignored him and continued to move. Just because it didn't feel good didn't mean it didn't feel right. He pushed down harder and quicker and was rewarded by the feeling of Zuko's thighs beneath his skin. He stayed still until the burn eased and the feeling of being filled and stretched turned into something somewhat pleasant.

He could feel Zuko panting into his hair and he had the presence of mind to marvel at the boy's self control. Zuko was withholding for him because he didn't want to hurt him, because he _loved _him and that was all Sokka needed to remind himself of.

He raised himself up slowly, until he could only feel the tip of Zuko's erection still inside him and allowed himself to fall, fast and hard, and when he'd reached the end again he felt Zuko's arousal hit him hard in a spot he hadn't actually expected to find so soon and his mind went blank. Zuko moaned loudly into his hair and he nearly screamed with pleasure into Zuko's skin, which was quickly gaining in temperature and suddenly Sokka couldn't move fast enough.

This was exactly what he wanted, what he _needed_ and it was the most amazing thing he'd ever felt. Zuko was hot inside of him, hot and huge, and every time he pushed himself up and slammed himself down again he managed to hit that magic spot that made him see stars in a closed off stone room.

One of Zuko's hands found its way to Sokka's hip, gripping hard and tight and Sokka was vaguely reminded of the feeling of that hand on his shoulder, burning his skin, but this was different. This felt good. The other hand curled tightly around his erection and stroked roughly upwards as Sokka fell downwards, wrenching a cry of pure ecstasy from the tribesman's throat as he came violently. He shuddered with exhaustion and collapsed in the Fire Lord's arms, clenching tightly around him. Zuko moved his hand, now sticky with Sokka's seed, to his other hip and urged the tribesman to move just a few more times, until it was just too hot and too tight, and his hands did burn with too much heat as he came but Sokka barely noticed. He let out one final, weak moan as he felt himself coated with a thick liquid that was just a few degrees hotter than the water they'd been sitting it and immediately soothed whatever residual burn was still plaguing him from the initial intrusion.

He closed his eyes and listened to Zuko's ragged breathing and didn't notice it lull him to sleep.


	17. The Revelation

"_I don't know why he didn't tell you right away."_

"_Things aren't the same."_

"_shouldn't have let him go."_

"_We aren't children anymore."_

"_It's nice to be all together again, though… isn't it?"_

"_maybe when he wakes up. Like old times."_

"_leaving."_

"_Fire Nation."_

"_not without talking to him."_

"_the future."_

He woke up remembering snippets of the conversations that had been occurring around him but they were vague and nonsensical in his sleep-deprived mind. What he did know for a fact was that he was warm and comfortable for the first time in days. Everything felt familiar and there was no underlying sense of dread invading his thoughts. His limbs tingled pleasantly as he stretched, arching his arms far above his head. He only winced slightly at some residual soreness around his middle and shoulders but for the most part he felt remarkably better and he was still too lost in the fog of sleep to realize that this shouldn't be the case.

It took him a long moment to truly focus on the fact that his body, which had been through enough trauma in the last week to keep him bedridden for days, was suddenly healed and while maybe he wasn't exactly in peak condition he was a far cry from a convalescent.

Cracking open one suspicious blue eye, he surveyed his surroundings. Zuko's room, Iroh's apartment. Okay. That seemed right. He chanced a glance at himself. He was still shirtless but he was clean and someone had dressed him in a fresh set of pants, blue ones that stood apart from the pale green blanket where his foot was hanging over the edge of the bed. He wriggled his toes experimentally, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Running a hand over his head he could tell that his hair had been washed and pulled back and he couldn't help but crack a smile.

It really was over. The only signs that assured him that it hadn't all been some terrible nightmare were the faint, already yellowing, splotches of bruising that still marred his torso and, he was sure, his face. He sat up slowly, testing his arms and twisting at his hips in an attempt to get his ribs to scream in pain the way that they had been just the night before. Suddenly he stopped and his jaw went slack. Last night.

Had that really happened? Did he really do that? He got his answer in the form of a sharp stab of pain between his legs as he tried to shimmy off the soft padding and onto the hard floor. He doubled over to catch the breath that his body's protest had stolen and pondered his situation. Clearly whoever had magically fixed his broken bones over the course of the day or night or, he really had no idea how much time had passed, had overlooked that little injury… thank the spirits.

And then realization hit him all at once in a stunning one two punch from reality. How many people were running around Ba Sing Se with magic healing abilities? Zero, that's how many, unless a certain, stubborn firebender had finally given in and sent for a certain, equally stubborn waterbender. And that one would only be the one he didn't particularly want to face for the fear that she'd heal him only to water whip him back to being bedridden all over again for getting himself into trouble in the first place.

"Damnit Zuko!" He howled as he shuffled to the door of the room. It slid open before he could reach for it and he found himself staring into wide, blue eyes that trumped his own in clarity, and were currently brimming with unshed tears of either worry or relief. For what, he was unsure. He hadn't been in such bad condition that getting laid had lost out in importance to getting his wounds checked. But clearly she didn't know that and he quickly and silently thanked the spirits again.

"Sokka? Oh Sokka, you're awake!"

"Katara." He barely had time to take in her appearance before she was rushing into his arms and pressing her face into his chest, squeezing him just a little harder than he could stand. His injuries still only half healed. He automatically wrapped his arms around her slender shoulders and nestled his own face in her hair, breathing in the sweet scent of her soap and realizing, not for the first time, just how much he missed her.

She pulled back suddenly and slapped his shoulder with no real force.

"Haha hey… What was that for?"

"For getting yourself into this situation! Why couldn't you just have told me what was going on? I'm your family, Sokka!"

He grasped her shoulders and looked her in the eye, trying to determine exactly what she was talking about. He wasn't quite ready to talk to her about what was going on between him and Zuko. Family or not.

"I… I just kind of needed to be on my own for a bit, you know? I needed a break from life, from people depending on me. I guess I don't really know how to do that though. I got myself into this Katara. It wasn't anybody else's fault. Least of all yours."

"I know it wasn't my fault. I just don't understand why you would do something so stupid! Going after an assassin by yourself! What were you thinking?"

"That someone had hurt my friend and they'd do it again if I didn't stop them…"

"And you had to do this alone?"

Sokka sighed, fully aware that trying to argue with his sister was a futile endeavor. It was almost eerie how alike Zuko and Katara were and he couldn't suppress a shudder at the thought that he'd fallen for a man who was almost exactly like his sister.

"Katara… I know it was stupid and I _wasn't_ thinking. I mean, at the time I thought I was but not clearly. It's just… you weren't there. Seeing Zuko with that knife sticking out of his chest, it was waiting for Aang to wake up after the catacombs all over again. I thought he was going to die, Katara."

She looked up at him and he could see the understanding hidden behind the worry. "It was still a stupid thing to do. Zuko's strong. He could have handled it."

"Well I haven't seen him in a while. I haven't seen anyone in a while. I guess I just forgot."

Her façade of anger completely melted away then and she slipped back into his embrace, fitting against him the way only she ever could.

"We've missed you too, you know. Aang and I would have taken you with us."

He stroked her hair and thought about all of the reasons why he hadn't just gone with them. None of them seemed quite seemed good enough now.

"Hey Sokka! You're awake!"

"Bout time, Snoozles."

Sokka smiled Aang popped his head into view, Toph not far behind.

"We were thinking about spending some time in the city, you know, kind of like old times but without the Dai Li following us and all that. It'll be fun." Aang looked at him hopefully, clearly eager to take a break from his own responsibilities, even if just for an afternoon.

"I have to do another healing session with him first, Aang." Katara stepped away from him and smoothed out her dress.

"Right! But that shouldn't take too long. He already looks a million times better than when we got here. Zuko too."

"Zuko let you heal him?" Sokka asked incredulously, his disbelief evident on his face.

"Sugarqueen over here didn't really give him much of a choice. You're lucky you were asleep when these two got here. Sparky got an earful."

"I think Katara may have poked at his wounds a little harder than was necessary too." Aang admitted sheepishly before shrinking under the waterbender's disapproving stare.

"He should have written us as soon as the first attack occurred. You men are so stubborn thinking you can handle everything all on your own."

Aang briefly looked about to protest being included in that statement but thought better of it and settled for nodding agreeably at the girl, utter devotion written plain upon his face. Sokka snorted but cut himself short when Katara turned her gaze on him.

"I just hope that he understands. There's a baby involved now. He can't be so stubborn anymore." Sokka felt his entire world fall away through the pit of his stomach. He felt dizzy and just a bit nauseous. He was vaguely aware of Katara's ranting continuing in his ear but he couldn't hear her.

"Baby?" He mumbled, gaze fixed somewhere above Toph's head. Katara halted her speech to eye him curiously. Aang looked quickly from one sibling to the other, unsure how to respond. Only Toph had any inkling of understanding and she schooled her face so as not to show it. She waited until she felt Sokka sit down hard on the futon, Katara and Aang rushing this side with gasps of worry, and slipped away.

* * *

"You didn't tell him."

Zuko turned away from the guards he had been speaking with when the accusation reached his ears. The guards sensed an impending confrontation and bowed away graciously, leaving the area but not quite letting Zuko out of their sight. For a brief second his face reflected the panic in his chest but he forced his features into a neutral stare that would have absolutely no effect on his accuser.

"Oh Zuko… please tell me you just found out. Tell me that you only told us first because he was still sleeping when you got the news."

He sighed and dug a knuckle into his temple, fighting the pounding headache that was growing there.

"You'd know I was lying."

"When did you find out?"

"Just a few days ago. The day I was attacked actually, but…"

"But?"

"That was just the physician's official report. We've been suspicious for a few months."

Zuko's skin was a few shades paler than normal even with Katara's healing sessions, and he looked as if he may be sick any second. But Toph couldn't see this. She could only feel the rapid beating of a broken heart.

"Someone told him then?" He asked slowly.

"Katara did. We assumed he knew. _I_ assumed. I know you have a problem letting people in Zuko but what about him? He was crushed. I could feel it."

Zuko fisted one hand and shot a stream of fire at the ground next to his feet, scorching an unsuspecting cluster of flowers.

"Telling people… it meant it was really true. That this is really happening. I'm not ready for this!"

"Well you don't have much of a choice! You still don't have enough faith in yourself. Look at everything you've gone through to get to where you are! You can handle ruling an entire nation but you don't think you can handle being a father?"

Zuko glared at her, glared past her, his eyes glowing with fury and fear.

"No! I don't! I didn't exactly have the best example! What if I'm just like him? What if I hate my own child?"

"Don't you think the fact that you're even asking that is a pretty good example that you won't?" Toph's voice had softened and she took a solid step closer to the volatile firebender.

"I don't know." He whispered, hanging his head and staring intently at the ground. "Toph… I just didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to be alone again."

"You're not alone, Sparky. You've got us, no matter what. Sokka's not going to hate you because of this. He's one of the most honorable people I know. You two pansies have that in common."

She knocked her knuckles into his shoulder, pushing him off balance and causing him to shuffle a few steps to the side to keep from falling.

"I should have told him first."

"Yea you should have."

Zuko startled at the new voice. Toph bit her lip and grabbed his arm to stop him from reacting poorly.

"Sokka I…"

Sokka ignored him and glanced at the blind girl at his side. "Toph, could you excuse us."

She tightened her grip on Zuko's arm for a second in support, sensing Sokka's anger, then turned away. When she was out of a normal person's earshot, Sokka stepped forward, aware that she could probably still hear him and uncaring.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to hear it from Katara? Katara who, a week ago, you absolutely refused to see."

"This was different. This was about you, not me." Zuko answered, dodging the first question for a moment.

"So my health matters and yours doesn't? You're the Fire Lord. I'm just some guy from the Southern Water Tribe who knows the Avatar."

Zuko narrowed his good eye. "Don't say that. You were just as much a part of ending that war and putting me on the throne as any of us. You're important."

"Yea?" Sokka took a menacing step forward, his eyes on fire, strength regained. "If I'm so important then why am I the only one who didn't need to know that you're having a kid? Were you going to wait until we got back to the Fire Nation to tell me? Was I supposed to find out when I saw Mai?"

"No. I tried to tell you yesterday but …"

"Don't you dare make this my fault, Zuko. You could have stopped me if you really wanted to."

Zuko looked sharp and balled his fists at his sides. "I'm not! I didn't want to stop you. Why would I stop you? I wanted to be with you. I've wanted that for weeks! I didn't tell you because I was afraid you'd leave me. Because you should! I finally felt normal. Like a normal person who deserved to be happy and I didn't want to lose that."

"How long have you known."

Zuko's eyes were dark as he prepared to present the information that he knew would damn him. "That letter. The one that I burned. It was from my personal physician, confirming the pregnancy."

"Confirming it? How _long_ Zuko?"

"A few months." It was hardly even a whisper. He was doomed and he knew it.

Sokka's fist clenched and he had to struggle with himself not to take a swing at the firebender's face. He didn't think that would go well after everything that had just happened. The guards were probably particularly on edge.

"Is it yours?"

Zuko glanced up sharply. "What?"

"Is. It. Yours? You said Mai's been having affairs. How do you know you're the father?"

The look on Zuko's face suggested that Sokka had said the absolute wrong thing but the younger man stayed strong. He was hurt beyond belief but at the same time he was hopeful. He didn't want this to end anymore than Zuko did but a child would tie him to Mai inextricably. He didn't know if he could handle that.

"What would you have me do even if I'm not? Abandon my wife? Banish her like my father banished my mother?"

"I never said that."

"Even if the child is not mine… I won't deface Mai like that in front of her people and I won't deny her child a father."

Sokka bit his lip against the tremble it kept threatening him with and nodded. His stance softened and he stepped forward.

"You shouldn't worry about turning out like your father… You're nothing like him." He gripped Zuko's biceps with his hands and leaned their foreheads together. Zuko shuddered as he released a trapped breath and forced himself to relax his hands. He rested them lightly on the warrior's hips and Sokka felt the heat of a soft sob escape Zuko's throat.

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because I know you,Zuko. I've watched my tribe grow from a few igloos filled with women and children and me to a genuine society, still fledgling, but a civilization nonetheless. It's a place where people can actually live and thrive now."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm getting to that. Patience. We've worked hard and we've had help from the Northern Tribe but we wouldn't have been able to make the progress that we have without you. You've done so much for us, for everyone that suffered at the hands of the Fire Nation, more than any one person should ever have to do."

"Sokka…"

"Your father wouldn't have done that. For anyone. Not even for his own family. My tribe is just one example of how different from your father you are. You may not think you're ready to be a father but I know that you can do it. You did have a paternal example and he was a good one."

"Uncle?"

"Yea. Your uncle is a good, strong man and so are you."

Zuko pulled his head away to look Sokka in the eye, his face filled with sorrow.

"Thank you. You… were you going to come with me? Before this?"

The tribesman sighed and looked away, tears welling at the corners of his eyes. "I was." He looked forward and held the firebender's eyes with his own. "I love you and… I know this is hypocritical of me, but I don't know if I'm ready for this."

Zuko's face fell but he nodded. "I understand."

Sokka faltered, the sight of unshed tears glistening against the lashes of Zuko's good eye stopping him in the throes of an unplanned speech.

"Zuko I… Just let me go home first. Just to get some stuff and say goodbye. I'll meet you there okay?"

The young Fire Lord's unmarred eye widened, the look of shock and unbridled happiness enough to shame the tribesman into stepping away. "You will?"

"Yea." He lied, his chest constricting painfully. "Yea."


	18. The Prince of the Fire Nation

**I'm not sure I love how this came out. Some of the scenes are how I imagined them but it feels disjointed somehow even though I've been working on it for over a week. I think it's less sad than I thought it was going to be too, so that's a good thing I guess. There's only two chapers left!**

Zuko's rooms overlooked the palace courtyard and the turtleduck pond that his mother had been so fond of when he was a child. From his balcony he could see across the grounds and out over the city, all the way to the harbor where the contrast of brown land left off and the wide expanse of ocean eventually faded into the blue of the sky. He stood out there, bracing his body against the gilded railing and letting the fresh morning air wash over him before the heat became oppressive and almost too sticky to bear, and surveyed the arrival of ships, both foreign and domestic, to his home.

He waited and watched every morning, squinting to catch a glimpse of blue sails against the water, hoping against hope that each day would be the day that he didn't have to wait anymore. He never stood there long, only maybe an hour or so each day, once in the morning before he donned the heavy robes of his position and once again in the evenings when all his work was done if he had the time. If the sun had set he retired without it, only able to make out the sparkling lanterns guiding the ships in.

Time passed and his wounds healed, quickly and without fuss because of Katara's healing. He lived his life as he had before he'd made that fateful trip to Ba Sing Se, as if not a thing had changed. His routine was just that except for his daily vigil, eyes trained on the harbor, heart growing ever heavier with each passing day, until one day he simply stopped looking and the next day his life fell apart and waiting on a broken promise for a lover who wasn't coming, no longer seemed so important.

It was a problem of his, this undying hope that nestled comfortably in his chest even when things looked their worst, even when he was sure his entire life was over. Even after he'd decided that Sokka wasn't coming, after he'd thoroughly convinced himself that he was wasting his time, he kept looking, kept hoping like a loyal pet waiting for his master to come home. He'd already deemed himself pathetic long before the day he forced himself to go straight to his closet without ever parting the curtains or opening the doors that led to his balcony.

That day he sat beside the turtleduck pond and honored his second hard earned habit. He gave himself extra time to hold the small tablet that he'd hung from a low hanging branch of his mother's favorite cherry tree, to remember the first person to ever truly mean anything to him, the mother he'd never been able to find. The animals themselves didn't seem to like him that much more than they had when he'd been young but he sat and fed them anyway because he wanted to be reminded of the last happy memories he had of his childhood, angry turtleducks and all.

He finally took the time to imagine himself in his mother's place, his own child curled against his side and listening aptly as he explained the ways of the world, as sadly inept as he seemed to be in that particular subject. His child would understand things that he did not, he promised himself. His son or daughter would know their heritage from the moment they could grasp it.

_You are descended of the Avatar and he will always watch over you._

He tried to see himself speaking softly to his child, whispering the trials of his youth as if they were already the legends he knew they would eventually become. He tried to imagine himself in this future but he could not define the details, could not even picture the turtleduck pond clearly in his mind despite its place in front of him.

He wasn't ready for this, not even close, but he didn't have a choice and he wasn't one to back down from his destiny, whether this destiny was truly his or one that had been unfairly forced on him by unhappy circumstances.

He made sure to visit Mai everyday beginning with the very moment he returned to the palace. He'd gone to her side before even returning to his chambers and reassured her of his presence, feeling like a coward for running away. She waved him off and feigned disinterest but she squeezed his hand just a little bit tighter than normal as she guided it to rest on her already swollen stomach. Her belly grew under his watchful eye and his apprehension grew with it but he was careful not to let her see his fear. When her state became impossible to hide under her heavy robes they sent out the official announcements to every capital of the Earth Kingdom; Ba Sing Se, Omashu, and Kyoshi Island because of Suki and Ty Lee; to the chief of the Northern Water Tribe and the chief of the Southern Water Tribe, one more personal than the other. It took less time than he'd expected for the news of his impending fatherhood to become international news and it terrified him in a way that cut deeper than any fear he'd ever known.

The same day they'd sent the announcements by messenger hawk, Zuko had sat for precious hours he didn't have at his desk and agonized over the second letter he would send to the Southern Water Tribe. It ended up resembling the letter he'd left for Mai the first time he'd fled the Fire Nation of his own will, short and succinct. He couldn't do more than get straight to the point, skipping all the flowery words that usually confused the point of noble letters. The ink ran where thick drops of salt water stained the parchment. He sent that letter in private using his own personal hawk and tried not to wonder whether Sokka would read it, whether he'd even respond.

Two days after sending that letter, the day after Zuko quit watching from his balcony for a Water Tribe ship to coast into the harbor with Sokka aboard, he spent his morning reading over the first letters of well wishes and congratulations that he and Mai had received, mostly from the nobility living in the capital. He rubbed his temples with his forefingers and sighed after looking over what had to have been the hundredth one.

"I'm bored." Mai droned from the plush seat across the table from him, flicking a letter across the room with the same deadly precision as her knives. Zuko cringed when a corner imbedded itself in the wall just above his head.

"We could take a walk around the grounds." He suggested tentatively, not wanting to upset his very pregnant and very homicidal wife.

Mai gave him a low look from beneath her lashes before sighing and holding out her hand to be helped to her feet. Zuko smiled at her softly before clasping her slender hand in his and anchoring the other at the small of her back.

They were well within the gardens when she stopped and turned him to face her, brushing her fingers along his unscarred cheek.

"I'm sorry Zuko."

He quirked his brow, confused. "Why?"

"You're not happy."

"Mai, I..."

She glanced up at him sharply, one hand resting protectively on the swell of her stomach, the other still clasping his tightly.

"It's yours, Zuko."

He opened his mouth to protest ever doubting her, to lie through his teeth that he'd never questioned the paternity of the child, but she cut him off abruptly.

"Don't lie to me. You disappeared the second I told you that I even _thought _I might be pregnant, for a month and a half. I know you were scared but I've never known you to be a coward."

"I've been prepared to care for this child whether it's mine or not. I would never abandon you. Never. I thought you knew that."

"If you had been sure it was your child from the beginning would you have needed that time to think about it? Don't you think that was abandonment too? You left me here, alone, in a palace full of servants and advisors that are loyal to you and despise me for what I've done. You don't think that was abandoning me?"

Zuko blanched, ire rising in his chest at the thought of Mai being abused in any way.

"Were you treated badly?"

She wrenched her hand from his roughly, sighing in frustration.

"No. That isn't the point, Zuko. You _left_ me and I needed you. I know why you did it and I'm not trying to shift the blame away from myself but I need you to understand. I want you to know, just to ease _your_ pain. It's your child. I wouldn't ask you to care for someone else's kid and I resent that you think I would."

He rounded on her, catching her hand in his again and refusing to let go.

"I wouldn't let you do this on your own. This was never about you, Mai. I left, I know, and I'm sorry. I never meant to be gone that long. I just needed to talk to my uncle and clear my head and then… things happened, things that weren't under my control."

"Don't blame this on the assassination attempt. You were there for an entire month before that happened."

"I'm not! I just needed a break okay? I'm miserable. _You're _miserable. The idea of bringing a child into this terrified me. The idea of having a child at all terrifies me! We didn't exactly have the best childhoods ourselves. Who are we to think we can raise another human being successfully?"

He could feel that his face was flushed and tears were brimming against his lashes so he looked down and away before she could say anything about his appearance.

"You don't have to tell me what happened in Ba Sing Se. I have no right to ask… but I've seen you. Waiting for her. She was supposed to come here right? To be with you."

He felt his heart catch in his throat but he continued to stare forcefully at the ground as if it could shift under his gaze.

"No Mai. There was no other woman in Ba Sing Se. I was with Sokka the entire time and I've been expecting him. But he isn't coming so you have no reason to worry."

He could feel the anger bubbling up inside of him. Fury at the unfairness of it all. He loved Mai and he'd promised to stand by her but at this moment he resented that promise more than anything. He'd never abandon her and he meant that every time he said it but for the last few months all he'd wanted was to escape back to Ba Sing Se, back to that one blissful month when he'd had no worries.

"_Sokka_?" She whispered, almost in disbelief. "So… you weren't sleeping with someone else?"

He recognized this as a way out for himself but that damn need for honor got the best of him again. He looked up at her, catching her eyes and holding them.

"Yes. I was. I won't lie to you." Her eyes widened but he held on. "Don't do this Mai. You haven't been in love with me for a long time and we both know that. I would have no one else bear my children, no one else as my wife but we can't get back something we lost this long ago." He looked down again, anger heating his skin. "You have no right to be jealous." He added almost as an afterthought.

From the angle of his face he did not see her blanch but he felt her grip on his hand tighten to almost painful.

"You're right. I'm sorry." She gasped out.

"Mai?" He looked up, worry crossing his features and extended his arms just in time to catch her as she fainted. He gathered her up, terror like he'd never felt coursing through his body, and ran toward the palace, overlooking the thick puddle of blood slowly soaking into the gravel pathway.

Two months. Two months before all of Zuko's personal physicians, the best in the Fire Nation, had said Mai was due to give birth. Seven months for them to figure out that something was wrong and none of them had.

Zuko watched, fearful as her eyes widened and emotions he'd never seen her express flashed across her face. He held her hand as fat, silent tears rolled down her cheeks, as blood pooled between her legs and stained the sheets of her bed.

His heart beat erratically in his chest and bile threatened from the back of his throat and he briefly thought that if this child died, if _Mai_ died, he would die too. He yelled at any servant he came across, yelled for the Avatar until his throat was raw. Every time he'd refused Katara's help flashed through his mind and he felt his own tears on his skin as he prayed that the waterbender was not far. After all the blind faith he'd put in his physicians only for this to happen so close to the end there was no one else in the world he would trust with his family's life now.

He refused to leave Mai's side for the entirety of the two days it took for Aang and Katara to arrive, setting Appa down in the middle of the palace grounds with no care for propriety and rushing into the palace as if their own family were in danger of falling apart. They could never know how much it meant to Zuko to know that they truly felt that way.

The physicians had stopped the bleeding right away but the smoke of terror had far from cleared. Mai was weak and most often incoherent, her skin pasty and tinged a sickly green. She developed a fever almost immediately after she'd stopped hemorrhaging and Zuko could find no relief in her heavy breaths and weak grasp on his hand.

When Katara and Aang finally arrived Zuko nearly burst into tears himself from the relief that their presence offered him. He had no idea if Katara had ever acted as a midwife before but he didn't care. He trusted her and he knew that she would do everything she could because they _were_ family. It nearly took Aang slipping into the Avatar State to pull Zuko away from Mai's bedside and convince him to bathe for the first time in days.

Aang sat by his side as he curled around himself in the steam room, and stroked his hair comfortingly. Zuko barely noticed it, nearly comatose with fear and exhaustion.

"You should sleep." He heard Aang whisper and it took every bit of strength he had to shake his head no. Aang looked on sadly but did not push the matter, wondering deep within himself if he would have any of the strength that Zuko had were he in the firebender's position.

The days dragged by after that. Katara stayed behind even after Aang was called away to settle some dispute somewhere in the Earth Kingdom. Zuko didn't care. He looked over and signed paperwork in a dumb daze, relying heavily on his advisors, and met with nobles and diplomats and didn't even try to remember the words that came out of their mouths. His stomach churned violently and his head ached at night when Katara turned him away from Mai's chambers and demanded, in no uncertain terms, that he sleep. He could see the worry in her eyes even if he didn't want to and most of the time he tried not to look at her too closely because though her features may have been soft and beautiful and feminine, her skin was still dark and her eyes were still the clearest blue he'd ever seen and looking at her made his heart ache so painfully that sometimes he was sure it would actually break.

He tried to ignore the pity in her eyes most of all, like she knew why he was so sad, like she knew her brother had done him in even before the pregnancy had gone wrong.

The night Aang came back, after a month of touch and go and heavy pacing and soft sobs and whispered words of comfort, the entire palace was in an uproar. Shrieks of pain echoed off the marble walls and floated on warm breezes out over the grounds. Servants rushed from room to room, unsure of what they should be doing. Zuko ignored them, ignored everyone and everything as he waited, on his knees at Mai's bedside, and watched with one wide eye as Katara worked.

Mai dug her fingernails so deeply into his skin that little rivulets of blood flowed freely down his arm but he barely noticed. He kept his grip strong and ran his fingers through her sweat soaked hair and whispered words of encouragement into her ear as she fought to bring forth the life they had created together.

Katara's eyes widened and brimmed with tears and Aang smiled as widely as a child when the screaming stopped. Mai choked with relief and closed her eyes when Katara stood, cradling a tiny mess of blood and curled limbs in her arms. She reached into the child's mouth with one finger and cleared it of fluid and almost immediately the shrieking began again, much higher this time, and Zuko couldn't help but laugh as happiness bubbled incoherently inside his chest.

* * *

He was staring out over the garden, feeling the breeze against his skin and smiling for the first time in months when he felt her presence behind him. He turned and met her eyes and for once it didn't hurt him to see her looking back. She passed the, now calmed, infant into his arms and smiled brightly and lovingly upon them both. Aang stood behind her and placed a hand upon her shoulder and Zuko looked into the eyes of his child and his heart swelled in a way he'd long thought could never be possible.

"Mai's sleeping." Katara whispered and Zuko only nodded, never taking his gaze from the child's cherubic face. "He is yours, Zuko."

He barely glanced up, smile never faltering. He didn't care why she thought there was a doubt. He didn't care that he had ever doubted it. There was no question in him now and there hadn't been for a long time.

"I know." He said softly, brushing a fingertip across his son's cheek. "He was lucky to be born." As if that was all the explanation that was needed and to him it was.

"He's a fighter." Aang said, grinning like the innocent twelve year old he'd been when they'd all first found each other.

Zuko allowed a grin almost as immature to cross his face as he watched eyelids no bigger than his fingertip close over eyes the same shade of gold as the sun.


	19. The Southern Water Tribe

**So I'd finished proofreading this and went to save it so I could publish it annnnd the website logged me out. None of my changes were saved. So if you see any mistakes, that's why.**

**Anyway, hooray for the second to last chapter! Sorry that it took so long. **

The South Pole was cold. Cold and white and windy and boring… and _cold. _It wasn't like he'd forgotten or anything. He'd only been gone a few months but he didn't remember the cold being such a shocking bitch the first time he'd come home.

Sokka shivered in his parka and trudged through knee deep snow, grumbling to himself under the breath that escaped his mouth in wispy white puffs. Ba Sing Se wasn't better, the Fire Nation wasn't _better_ but they were both warmer and that was beginning to mean a lot to him. It wasn't so bad during the day, when he was moving around and keeping his blood flowing through his limbs, but the nights were quickly becoming a different story, making him yearn for the evenings spent sleeping cuddled up to Aang and Katara on forest and canyon floors.

If he had to be honest with himself, and he didn't really like doing that all that much anymore, he missed Zuko. He had polar bear dogs and tiger seal pelts to keep him warm at night in his lonely hut and he could feel the heartbeats of the dogs against his back and chest and he tried to make that enough but it wasn't, he knew that it wasn't, and he was beginning to suspect that his family knew that it wasn't. Not that he had divulged any of the details of his newly intimate relationship with the Fire Lord to anyone, except for Toph because she already knew and she could be very convincing when she was threatening to drop a two ton boulder on his head.

He caught the looks that people sent him when they thought he wasn't looking, the confused pity they were leveling on him. Everybody could see he was miserable even though he did his best to hide it but nobody knew exactly why. He was supposed to come back happy and refreshed or not come back at all but he wasn't supposed to be unhappier than he'd been when he left.

At first he used the breakup with Suki to explain it away. He'd been with her for four years after all, it would take him a while to get back to his old self and until then he'd work diligently and keep up his end but his heart didn't have to be in it. It was nobody's business if he thought about Zuko at night when he wrapped his hand around himself and buried his face in fur and refused to allow himself to cry.

He let out a particularly loud growl when he dropped a parcel of frozen meat on his foot as he tried to get it off his sled. It had been a particularly good hunting expedition for him, the only thing he still really liked doing because it gave him time to just be, without having to put up a front for a fellow tribesman or even worse, for his own family.

A large hand clapped him on the back when he bent to retrieve the package and when he turned, he found himself greeted by his father's warm smile. And then he was pulled into a fierce bear hug that knocked the wind from his lungs and caused him to drop the meat all over again.

"Da-Dad! I was only gone for a few days!"

"What? A father can't be happy to see his only son?"

Sokka gingerly removed himself from his father's embrace and retrieved his package, clutching it to his chest like a life preserver.

"Did something happen?" He asked warily, narrowing his eyes.

"Don't give me that look, son! Nothing bad's happened but the traders' ships came in yesterday."

Sokka eyed his father suspiciously but feigned interest based solely on his normal good nature. Normally he would have been disappointed to find out that he'd missed out on the chance to examine and even acquire a few new weapons or trinkets, but lately they'd mostly been doing business with the Fire Nation and there wasn't anything he wanted from them… except maybe the Fire Lord.

"Oh? Anything interesting?" He tried to sound like he cared, because any other time he would have, but he could hear his own voice fall flat.

Hakoda watched his son with sad, sympathetic eyes and reached out to squeeze the young warrior's shoulder, then he smiled, sure his news would cheer the young man up. Hakoda had no idea where his son's mind was and every time he'd tried to get the boy to talk he'd failed. He didn't want to push him, choosing to believe that his child would come to him when he was ready and until then he'd resigned himself to doing whatever he could to help Sokka re-acclimate to life in the South Pole.

"There were some letters from Zuko. There was one for you specifically. I left it in your hut."

Sokka faltered, fumbling with his load for a third time, as his heart beat painfully hard against his ribcage.

"Thanks, Dad." He mumbled, trying and failing at pretending to be ambivalent about the letters. He should have realized that ambivalence was by far the wrong emotion, or lack thereof, but he couldn't bring himself to feign enthusiasm and he didn't want to admit to the sinking feeling weighing on his chest. It had been what? Three months? Four? He lost count pretty early on. He was amazed at how quickly time seemed to fly when all he was trying to do was keep it from passing.

A day hadn't gone by that Sokka hadn't sat down and tried to force himself to put ink to paper and give Zuko the closure that he deserved but it was harder than he thought it should be and with each passing sunrise and sunset, the idea became impossible. He didn't know what to say because he didn't know what he wanted. Sure he'd told Zuko he'd meet him in the Fire Nation and yea, he hadn't meant it but he hadn't been lying through his teeth either. He wanted to be with Zuko. He ached for him every day and nearly broke with the yearning every night but they led different lives, had different responsibilities; were permanently connected to different people on different sides of the world.

And Zuko was having a baby. He had a family and a future and a nation that relied with heartbreaking need on his every action. Sokka was sure that he wanted all of that… someday. Someday in the, gods please, not too imminent future. How could he show up on Zuko's doorstep and pretend that everything was okay when it most certainly was not? Sure, he loved Zuko; loved him with every fiber of his being, but love only accounted for so much and Sokka was nothing if not practical. Practicality did not allow for fluffy dreams of rainbows and holding hands during the sunset.

Sokka shifted his weight and forced a smile for his father, attempting to dispel the concerned look gracing the man's distinguished features.

"Can you take this?" He asked, holding the wrapped chunks of meat out. "I'm going to go… rest or something. Didn't get a lot of sleep while I was out there, ya know, being manly and stuff. Had a schedule to keep."

Hakoda offered his son a wide grin that did nothing to hide the worry in his eyes and gladly took the load. He just hoped that a little more time would see Sokka with his head back in the real world.

Sokka slipped into his hut and immediately noticed the pristine piece of parchment, folded and sealed with the Fire Lord's mark, lying on top of his bed of pelts. A matching letter that had been opened and was already smudged with more than a few fingerprints lay next to it, beckoning to him and taunting him at the same time. He felt the blood in his veins turn to ice, chilling him throughout, as he eyed the letters from across the makeshift room.

He knew what the opened one said and he was fairly surprised that his father hadn't greeted him with the information. Unless…hope bubbled up in his chest and he immediately felt sick at himself for ever having such a horrible thought in the first place. There was no way that Mai had lost the baby and he was a horrible person for feeling even an iota of happiness at the idea. He'd had misgivings about going to the Fire Nation with Zuko from the very beginning. The baby wasn't the problem; it was just _another_ sign that they weren't meant to be. Not that he believed in signs, because he most definitely did not. He was a man of science; a man who believed in logical thinking and problem solving and _not_ magic signs and fortune telling.

He pulled off his gloves and picked up the opened letter first, scanning it quickly and noticing right off that Zuko had taken the time to hand write it. It was addressed to the entire Southern Water Tribe, warmly addressing the entire populace as friends of the Fire Lord and Lady. He felt his heart sink further as Zuko's pristine script told him how _excited_ the royal couple was about the impending birth of their first child and the official heir to the Fire Nation.

He got about halfway through the formal and flowery declaration before letting it fall to the floor, feeling sick to his stomach. The letter to him met his stare and glared, frighteningly bright in the dim lighting of the hut, right back at him. His limbs felt like he was submerged in ice water, numb and slow to react to his brain's commands, as he reached for the piece of parchment and braced himself for what was probably the break up letter he'd been too much of a coward to send himself.

He sliced his finger on the sharp edge of the paper as he broke the seal and he cursed loudly before sticking the offending digit into his mouth and sucking. The act gave him something to focus on other than the constricted thump of his heart as he unfolded the letter and began to read.

_Sokka,_

_I don't know what to say to you exactly. I just want you to know that I'm not angry. I understand why you haven't come and I'm ashamed that I put so much pressure on you to do so. I had no right to ask you to leave your home and your family to live in and with mine. I should have told you about the baby sooner and I tried, I swear, but I was afraid that you'd leave. I was a coward and my behavior was far from honorable._

_I just want you to know that I meant it when I said that I loved you and I still do. I don't know how you feel and I know it isn't my place to ask for reassurance from you but I hope you'll forgive me if I tell you that I like to believe you love me as well._

_The child is due in two months. I'd like for you to be there at the presentation. Your entire tribe will be invited of course, but it would mean everything to me if you were there, as my friend._

_I'm sorry for everything that has happened. I truly am._

_Zuko_

Sokka's throat felt thick as he read the letter for the second and third time. It was short but effective. He felt like shit. All his avoidance of the issue had done was convince Zuko that the entire thing was his fault. He wasn't going to shoulder all of the blame himself; he had been mad and he still was, sort of, and he was pretty sure he had a right to be. But he'd wasted his chance to ask Zuko all of the questions that had been rioting in his brain for the last few months. Obviously Zuko understood where his hesitance was coming from but rationalizing the situation did nothing to mend his broken heart.

Subconsciously he slid his bare hand into the pocket of his parka and fingered the piece of driftwood that he'd been diligently whittling for the last month. He pulled it out and held it against the letter, examining it in the little bit of sunlight that was streaming in through the door flaps in his hut. It was a little lopsided and it probably wouldn't return if it was thrown, but it was smooth and the designs he'd carved into it were distinct and _he_ could tell what they were.

He ran his thumb over the Fire Nation symbol on one end of the little boomerang, the reflecting side decorated with the symbol of the Water Tribe, and sighed.

* * *

The entire tribe had been invited to the ceremony but it would have been ridiculous for them all to actually go. Only a few representatives would be necessary and with the chief's daughter already in the Fire Nation, only the chief and the Tribe's remaining master waterbender needed attend. The chief's son, despite his presence being personally requested by and being a close, personal friend of the Fire Lord, did not _need_ to go.

Sokka hadn't exactly _told_ his father that he wasn't planning on going to celebrate the birth of the Fire Nation heir and after Katara's letter came, he couldn't bring himself to do it. The looks he received on a regular basis quickly became less sympathetic and more judgmental with each day that he didn't jump on a ship and race to Zuko's side. Everyone knew they were friends. Even with the immigrants from the North, the Tribe was still small, and it hadn't taken much for word to get around that he'd spent almost all of the time he'd been away in Ba Sing Se with the exact person he was avoiding now. He could see in the eyes of his people that they didn't understand why he didn't go to his friend when his companionship was surely needed.

And he wanted to go. He _wanted_ to be by Zuko's side and support him the way he was sure Aang and Katara already were, but he couldn't help but feel that his presence would only cause Zuko more trouble, more anxiety, and he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to admit that he was afraid he'd get there only to find that Zuko didn't want him by his side anymore.

He sat with his legs crossed on a large block of ice overlooking a group of tiger seals and fiddled with his driftwood boomerang. Katara's letter had said the baby was a boy and he was glad for that, unsure if this particular weapon would be fit for a princess.

He nearly dropped the precious carving when the ice melted beneath him, landing him on his butt in more than a foot of powdered snow.

"Hey!" He cried out, gripping the little boomerang tightly and trying to claw his way out of the powder.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have missed you sitting there, Sokka." Pakku ventured closer to the impression that Sokka's body had made, inspecting the seams of his gloves nonchalantly.

"Right." Sokka huffed, finally twisting his body into a sitting position. "You're a master waterbender and a member of the White Lotus and you just _happened_ to not see your own grandson from ten feet away."

"It was an easy mistake. I simply mistook a moping boy for a threatening animal. It could have happened to anyone." He held out his hand to the struggling young man and helped him to his feet.

Sokka grumbled and brushed himself off, boomerang still clutched tightly in his gloved hand.

"I was not moping." He muttered, embarrassed at being caught doing exactly that.

"Well my eyesight might be going. Could be you were jumping for joy and I just couldn't see it."

Sokka narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You know, GrandPakku, you've been here for almost five years now but I guess we can still consider you the new guy, so I'll give you a break this time. But let's get one thing straight; _I'm_ the sarcasm guy."

Pakku grimaced at the moniker but he'd given up trying to get the boy to drop it. There were only so many times that he could freeze Sokka's mouth shut before he had to give up and accept that the boy might be just as stubborn as he was.

"I was able to get you to quit sulking. I consider that a small success."

"I was not moping or sulking or anything like that! I'm not a kid. I was just thinking."

"May I ask what about?"

Sokka flushed and stared at his feet, his thoughts warring with each other over the best path of action in this particular situation. Half of him wanted to genuinely ask the older man for advice but the other half, the half that had been making most of his decision lately, wanted to shove the little boomerang at him and hightail it back to his hut.

"I may not appreciate being called GrandPakku, Sokka, but I'm still family. You should feel free to confide in me." He placed a comforting hand on the younger man's shoulder and Sokka finally looked up with watery eyes.

"It's just… I know everyone thinks I should have already left for the Fire Nation and _I know_ that I should have but… I don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I have so many options but none of them feel right."

"I suppose I understand."

Sokka sighed and looked back away. "You might. GrandPakku? When GranGran left the Northern Water Tribe, didn't you ever think about going after her? If you loved her so much, why'd you just left her go like that?"

Pakku took his hand from Sokka's shoulder and stroked his chin thoughtfully, mulling over the question.

"I can't be sure. We were young and… I suppose I was afraid. I loved her but I was set in my ways. It almost took me too long to realize what I was missing by not having her in my life."

"If you could do it over again, do you think you would have gone after her?"

Sokka looked up, hopeful but for what he wasn't sure.

"I did go after her, son, just a few years later than I should have. I can't change the past but… I was stubborn and I cost myself a lot of happy years."

Sokka smiled and let his gaze rest on the little piece of driftwood still clutched in his hand.

"Thank you, Pakku." He whispered before lunging forward and enveloping the old waterbender in a bone crushing bear hug. Before Pakku could catch his breath to respond, Sokka was off and running, as fast as the deep snow drift would allow, in the direction of his hut.


	20. The Driftwood Boomerang

**Oh wow, it's done. It's finally done. This is a little bittersweet. Thank you to everyone who supported me through this fic. It was my very first fanfic and it gave me some trouble at certain parts but the experience I got from writing this was well worth it. I enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. :)**

Zuko rose from his bed and stood before the balcony of his suite. He did not step out but instead stayed within the close walls of his quarters, far enough inside that he could still feel the residual warmth of the the cocoon of blankets he'd just left but far enough out that he could see the entire expanse of the palace courtyard. The cherry trees were blossoming and sweet, pink petals floated on the morning breeze.

A child's delighted squeal rang out through the air and disrupted the peace. Zuko smiled as a chubby child of three came into his sight, running faster than his short legs could carry him. His momentum pulled him to the ground just by the turtleduck pond and the Fire Lord cringed when he saw two plump pale hands hit the dirt. He waited for the cries of pain to come but the child surprised him by simply sitting on his haunches and wiping the soil from his skin on the oversized powder blue tunic that he refused to take off.

The boy retrieved the little wooden boomerang that he always carried and inspected it for damage. Seeing none he smiled brightly and set about getting to his feet. His mother, who watched him until the boy's bodyguard began his day, rushed to his side with the intent to help but he brushed her off and resumed his play without a second thought. His little black ponytail gleamed in the sunlight as he toddled away from the nurse's helping hands, swiping the air with his Water Tribe weapon and swimming in colors that did not represent the nation he was born to rule.

Zuko sighed, only slightly exasperated with his son's antics, and when Mai caught sight of him and cast him a knowing and exasperated look of her own he waved her off with a smile. Watching the child play made his heart both swell and ache with pride and love. He wished he could get the boy to take proper pride in his heritage instead of spending all of his free time imitating the one man who had ever driven Zuko as mad as his son did but the child was every bit as stubborn as the adults who raised him.

He often regretted taking his son to see a, by law, revised performance of the Boy in the Iceberg since he'd immediately decided that he was not, in fact, the Crowned Prince of the Fire Nation but instead Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe. It had been amusing for a while, however much it may have bothered Zuko to see it, but then the boy had begun refusing to practice his firebending or respond to his given name. The game had quickly lost its charm for Zuko but his son was every bit as enamored with the young warrior as his father had ever been.

He heard movement behind him; his bedmate roused from slumber by the empty void his vacancy had caused, no doubt. Zuko didn't turn even as he heard a few choice mumbled words directed at his back. It brought a warm smile to his lips, a small one just for himself and the little niche of happiness he'd struggled to carve out of the world for himself and his family. His gaze returned to the cherubic face of his child who looked up at the exact same moment and smiled brightly to see his father awake and hopefully, if the gleam in his three year old eye was any indication, ready to play.

"Mmm… Will you come back to bed? It's too early to start being all Fire Lordy."

"I can't. Taro's seen me. He'll be up here any second." Zuko turned to gaze upon the naked body lounging in his bed. "You should probably get dressed. You're his bodyguard. It's your job to watch him and you can't do that naked."

There was a muffled groan of frustration as Zuko's lover rolled away from him and burrowed deeper into the bedclothes. "The little terror's _your_ son."

Zuko allowed himself a small chuckle, knowing that the words were spoken with affection instead of animosity. Taro's bodyguard loved the boy with a ferocity that rivaled his own. He felt an uncharacteristic wave of emotion wash over him as he watched the man begrudgingly rise from the bed and drag himself into the connected washroom.

Toned muscles rippled beneath the caramel skin that stretched across his back and the sight sent a swift kick of lust straight to Zuko's groin. His mouth was moving before he'd fully registered his own thought process, spitting out words he didn't say often and leaving him feeling awkward and exposed.

"I love you."

A tousled head of hair peeked from around the door frame; cool blue eyes regarded him from under a curtain of soft brown locks. Zuko shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny, only relaxing after the handsome face of his lover broke into a wide and lopsided grin.

"Love you too, Jerk."

* * *

_Sokka stared up at the imposing figure of the Fire Nation Palace, his stomach twisted in knots and his head aching more than a little. He brushed his finger along the edge of the little wooden boomerang he'd carved and felt the tension in his body eased by the reassurance of its presence in his pocket. He took a deep breath and tried to force himself to take the final steps that would put him inside the palace and past the point of no return but his movements felt weighted down with guilt and finality. He couldn't help but picture the most negative of scenes in his head. It was too easy to see himself being tossed on his ass by a contingent of the very same guards that had snubbed his presence in Ba Sing Se._

"_Sokka. You came." _

_A light hand landed on his shoulder, the emotional weight of it causing him to slump in shame. _

"_Hey Aang." He responded softly. _

"_He'll be happy to see you. You're probably happy you missed the birth, huh? It was pretty intense."_

_Sokka examined his feet. He felt horrible for missing such an important event in the life of the man he supposedly loved but he couldn't help but feel a little relieved. He didn't like births. That much was a fact that most of his friends were all too aware of. He had to feel some comfort in the knowledge that he would have only been in the way. It was all he had, knowing that he'd all but abandoned Zuko when the young man had needed him most._

"_I guess. How is he?" He chanced a look up at the Avatar's still youthful face and was rewarded with the beaming, innocent smile that had instilled so much trust in so many people._

"_I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. It's kind of amazing really. Like all of our lives are finally falling into place, you know? I think the baby has given him some stability, something he's never really had before."_

_The words stung but Sokka knew he didn't have a right to feel sorry for himself. Zuko deserved to be happy. They all did._

"_He's probably in the nursery. He's in there all the time when he isn't working. I can take you to him."_

_Sokka gave him a shaky, grateful smile and nodded. He wasn't sure that he believed Zuko would be interested in seeing him but he owed the firebender at least the opportunity to tell him to leave._

_They followed the almost endless winding passages of the palace in one sided silence. Aang chattered mindlessly about everything that had happened in the last few month; the meetings he'd been to, the birth, the presentation ceremony the next week. Sokka listened halfheartedly and tried in vain to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest. When they reached the large double doors that Sokka assumed led to the nursery Aang paused and gave him a half smile of encouragement. _

_Sokka sighed and smiled back, putting on a brave face. Aang couldn't have any idea why Sokka hadn't come until now or just how difficult this moment really was for him. The boy just wanted to see his friends happy and Sokka couldn't bear to dampen the hope he could see shining in those clear gray eyes. He faced the doors and steeled himself against the crippling fear that was running ice cold through his body. He was going to see Zuko and he was going to get closure and that should have relieved him but he was so sure that Zuko was going to spurn him that it made even the small act of knocking on the heavy wooden door agonizing._

_The knock rang hollow in his ears and the amount of time that passed between the sound of his knuckles rapping on the wood and the muffled response from inside seemed like an eternity. Aang gave him one last hopeful smile before realizing that the air around the tribesman was tenser than it should have been. He looked confused for a moment before mumbling something about finding Katara and telling everyone that Sokka had arrived and quickly and awkwardly taking his leave._

_Sokka took one last deep breath and pushed the heavy doors open once Zuko's familiar rasp gave him permission._

_Zuko's back was to the door, the soft sunlight from an open window casting it in shadow and creating a gleaming golden aura around Zuko's body. Sokka's breath caught in his throat and his steps faltered. The Fire Lord held something carefully cradled in his arms and it took Sokka a moment to realize that it had to be the child. He could see the outline of Zuko's profile, bathed in an ethereal glow, and the soft loving look on his face as he gazed down at the sleeping baby in his arms. Sokka's chest felt tight and his steps stopped when he was only halfway across the room. _

"_Just give me a few more minutes, Katara. I just got him to sleep. Who knows how long he'll stay quiet." _

_Zuko didn't turn to look and Sokka was immediately disappointed and a little resentful. Only a few months ago it would have been his presence that Zuko expected and not his sister's. He knew that Katara was better suited to handle the situation than he ever could have been but it didn't make him feel better. His arms ached to wrap around Zuko's waist, to feel the comforting warmth of their bodies pressed together, but he couldn't move._

_When he didn't get a response Zuko looked up suspiciously and the look of shock and renewed hurt that washed over him very nearly propelled Sokka back out of the room. He stayed put by sheer strength of will._

"_Sokka…"_

_Sokka opened his mouth to respond but he couldn't seem to find his voice. His throat felt thick and he found it difficult to swallow. Before he could bring himself to say anything another voice rang out in his stead, effectively destroying the moment and saving Sokka from further embarrassment._

"_Zuko! I… Sokka? Oh Sokka!"_

_Sokka was knocked off balance by the weight of his sister's arms around him, familiar and comforting. A brief look of annoyance passed over Zuko's face and he clutched the child tighter to his chest, watching the siblings' reunion with unease. Sokka wasn't sure if Zuko's demeanor was due to his presence or Katara's but he could guess._

_Zuko cleared his throat loudly from his position on the far side of the room and Katara immediately remembered herself, gingerly disentangling her body from Sokka's and blushing as she straightened her clothes. _

"_Sorry. I'm just so happy to see you." She smiled sheepishly and glanced at Zuko who was staring quite intently at the floor. _

_Her smile faltered but she saved it gracefully, only letting on slightly that she could sense something was wrong. She raised her hand and squeezed her brother's arm once in reassurance and quickly crossed the room. _

"_Here Zuko, let me put him down." _

_Zuko's grip tightened almost imperceptibly and he took a slight step back. _

"_No… no I can do it."_

"_Zuko." Katara's voice was stern and Sokka almost wanted to laugh at the familiarity of it. Zuko set his jaw as if he were going to fight her and then seemed to realize that it would be a losing battle. He relinquished his death grip on the baby and passed him over into Katara's arms with extreme and obvious reluctance. "Go talk to him." She commanded, jerking her head in Sokka's direction._

_Zuko's eyes flashed to Sokka's face almost in a panic and Sokka tried to smile but he could feel it fall flat. Katara didn't know anything concrete, he could be sure of that because he would have certainly heard from her if she did, but she'd always been too good about getting into other people's business and he could tell she suspected a rift between them. And she'd been in the Fire Nation for months, months that Sokka had spent feeling sorry for himself in the South Pole, he knew she had to have some ideas._

"_Go." She said, a bit more firmly and Zuko hung his head in defeat._

_She turned back to her brother and smiled brightly before focusing her attention on the baby. Zuko strode across the room with determination, his heavy robes trailing on the ground behind him. Sokka hesitated before following him out of the room but Katara scowled at him and mouthed 'go' when he didn't immediately move. He realized that he didn't need a lecture from her on top of this already awkward confrontation with Zuko and quickly bolted out the door and into the hall._

_Zuko was silent and Sokka couldn't think of anything to say. They only walked a little ways to another grand set of doors, imposing and intricately carved, and Sokka felt his heart begin to pound again. Zuko pushed them open and crossed the threshold with only a quick glance back at Sokka. He looked as unsure as Sokka felt._

_The doors led to a grand set of rooms that Sokka immediately assumed to be Zuko's own. They entered into a plush sitting room and Zuko stopped, back to the tribesman and shoulders clearly tensed. Sokka cleared his throat in an effort to find his voice._

"_I'm sorry I didn't come earlier." He finally managed after a few awkward moments._

_Zuko shook his head and turned slowly, golden eyes brimming with repressed emotion. "I didn't think you were going to come at all."_

_Sokka winced at the hurt in Zuko's voice but forced himself to take a step forward and put less distance between them. "I wasn't… at first. I was scared, I guess. I've been kind of a shitty friend, huh?"_

"_Yes you have. But I understand. I can't say that I would have reacted differently had our situations been reversed."_

_Sokka felt what little wind was left in his sails die down at the formality of Zuko's words. He really didn't know what he'd been expecting; anger, yelling, tears and professions of love, he didn't know, but he hadn't been prepared for this uncomfortable distance between them devoid of emotion._

"_Zuko I… I'm sorry. I just didn't think I was ready."_

_Zuko gave him a little smile. "I didn't think I was either but he's- my son- he's amazing. I can't explain it."_

_Sokka could see the raw love in Zuko's eyes as he spoke of his child and he felt happy for the man but it hurt all the same. Zuko had looked at _him_ like that for a brief moment in time._

"_I'm happy for you." He breathed, his throat constricting. He thought about leaving the room, fleeing the situation, but once again his body wouldn't obey his brain. He was rooted to the spot by his own depression. Then he remembered the little boomerang in his pocket and pulled it out. He held it close to his body and stared at it for a few long moments before holding it out. "I made this… for your son."_

_Zuko's eyes widened and he stepped forward to retrieve the piece of carved driftwood. His fingers brushed against Sokka's and lingered, sending a shock of electricity through the tribesman's body. He coughed and dropped his arm, his cheeks coloring. Zuko examined the boomerang, turning it over in his slim, pale fingers. _

"_Thank you." Sokka almost didn't hear Zuko's whisper of gratitude but the emotion in it made it ring clear and he felt his face heat even further._

"_Well… Okay. I'm just gonna go then." He couldn't bear to be in this room any longer. Nothing was going to get resolved and he was too much of a coward to push it._

"_Don't. Please." The anguish on the Fire Lord's face made Sokka pause and his heart ache. The emotion in his voice made Sokka step forward, like a magnetic pull. Zuko grimaced and rubbed his face with his hands. "Why is this so hard? I've thought about this for months, about what I'd say to you when I saw you again and now you're here and I don't know what to do! I've missed you so much but I told myself that I wouldn't pressure you. I thought you weren't going to come and I wouldn't have to see you for years and by then I'd be over you. But I'm not. I'm not over you and I… I just…"_

"_I'm not over you either." Sokka spoke softly but it was enough to make Zuko freeze and stare at him with a glimmer of hope in his eyes that was enough to break his heart. He couldn't stop himself from closing the distance between them and for once he wasn't at all unhappy that his body was acting ahead of his brain. _

_Zuko looked stunned but when Sokka wrapped his arms around the firebender's regal neck, he didn't push him away and Sokka took that as an open invitation. He pressed his lips to Zuko's with an eager need that had been eating away at him for months. He didn't wait for Zuko to respond before he was tracing the seam of the firebender's lips with his tongue, begging for entrance. Zuko immediately gave it, opening his mouth and wrapping his arms around Sokka's waist in a fierce embrace. _

_There was a fire between them that they'd both nearly forgotten in their separation and it burned their flesh and their hearts. Zuko moaned into Sokka's mouth and slid his hand down the tribesman's back to cup his ass. Sokka broke the kiss with reluctance to allow them to breathe and buried his face in Zuko's neck, panting._

"_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His voice was muffled by Zuko's skin but the Fire Lord heard him and his heart melted._

_Zuko chose to respond by sliding his hand beneath Sokka's tunic and gripping his growing erection through his pants. Sokka moaned and bucked into Zuko's hand. _

"_Yes. Zuko, yes."_

_Sokka grappled with the neck clasps of Zuko's robes, desperate to feel Zuko's bare skin against his own once again. He nearly squealed with excitement when the clasps came loose and he was able to slide the robes from Zuko's shoulders. Zuko relinquished his embrace of Sokka's body to allow the heavy garments to pool on the floor. He wore only a thin pair of silk pants beneath his formal wear and Sokka nearly salivated at the sight of Zuko's bare chest beneath his fingertips. _

_It took only moments of fumbling fingers and heavy breathing for their belts to be discarded and their pants dropped around their thighs. Sokka gripped the back of Zuko's neck and crushed their mouths together as Zuko wrapped a callused hand around both of their erections. Sokka moaned loudly and covered Zuko's hand with his own, completing a circle of warmth around them as their skin rubbed together and sent thrills of delicious friction through their bodies. _

_Sokka felt the telltale signs of his impending orgasm first. He bit hard on Zuko's bottom lip and cried out as he came, collapsing in a heap of jellied limbs into Zuko's arms. The added pressure of his body against Zuko's pushed the firebender over the edge soon after. They dropped to their knees, gasping for breath but unwilling to let go of each other._

_Sokka stared into Zuko's eyes and relished the look of love he found there, the love he thought he'd lost._

"_I want to stay. I want to stay with you… if you still want me to." He whispered, half afraid he'd still be rejected but too sated and in love not to risk it._

"_Of course I do." Zuko smiled widely and captured his mouth again, holding him close and kissing him softly, both of them happier than they'd been in years._

* * *

Zuko could have sworn that not even a minute had passed since he'd sent his lover to get dressed before his son was running through the doors of his room and launching himself onto the bed where the Fire Lord now sat. He found himself with an armful of giggling three year old and a smile on his face.

"Daddy, come play?" The boy looked up at him with hopeful gold eyes. Zuko smiled and kissed his forehead, gathering him up and hugging him tightly. "Please, Daddy?"

"Yea please, Daddy?"

"_You_ do _not_ get to call me Daddy." Zuko grimaced as his son struggled to get out of his embrace and bound into the arms of his bodyguard, his shriek of happiness ringing in Zuko's ears.

"Sokka! Make Daddy play!"

Zuko was faced with two sets of big, sparkling eyes and no willpower to stand against them. He set his mouth in mock resignation and held his arms out for Taro, who clambered into them eagerly and buried his face in his father's neck.

"I think we got him, Terror. The big bad Fire Lord is no match for our combined forces of cute."

"_He's_ cute. You're not cute."

"Yea, you're right. I'm more handsome."

Zuko snorted into Taro's hair and rose from the bed, shifting the boy in his arms to sit against his hip.

"I_ am_ handsome! You don't think I'm handsome?"

Zuko's smirk softened into a smile as he watched Sokka's discomfort from over Taro's head. He sighed and pressed a chaste kiss to his lover's lips.

"I think you're handsome, Idiot."

Sokka smiled smugly and grasped the back of Zuko's neck, dragging him into another, more powerful kiss that lasted until the child's impatience to play broke them apart.

"Alright Terror. C'mon, let's go."

Sokka followed Zuko and Taro out, a wide grin plastered on his face as he prepared for another day by the side of the man he loved in the nation he used to fear. It wasn't the life he'd expected but he couldn't remember ever being so happy and he couldn't see himself anywhere else.


End file.
